An Analytical Look Into Social Interaction

Chapter I: Gender – Male/Female Interaction

Interaction among males and females can be volatile, if not unpredictable, at times. There are subtle differences that must be observed if we are to properly co-exist with others. Often, instances of disagreement can occur. This can happen for various reasons and the reasons themselves can also be unpredictable. More so, when dealing with differences in gender, the situation can become quite volatile indeed. We will not, in particular, deal with the causes of such disagreements but, instead, look at how these situations can be properly handled in order to maintain proper interaction. More specifically, we will look into how the handling of these situations vary based on gender differences.

Scenario A: One Male Offends Another

A group of friends are at a bar. Two of these friends, Robert and Steven, are best friends. They have become involved in an argument. It appears that Robert has caught Steven, who has consumed a little too much alcohol, flirting with his girlfriend, Lacy. Obviously, this situation is enough to provoke Robert to great anger. Steven, upon realizing his misjudgment, seeks to make amends. Steven, being the offending party approaches humbly. He knows that he is in the wrong and seeks to open dialogue with the offended friend, Robert.

Steven admits his wrong...

Now, Steven, attempts a truce.

As a male, Robert is not interested in drama or prolonged conflict and begins to contemplate this resolution. They have been best friends for a long time and Steven was slightly intoxicated during the incident, after all. Though Robert is very angry, he considers Steven's gesture and offer of resolution.

After consideration, Robert then accepts Steven's truce, albeit with some reservations.

Now, Steven, proposes a peace offering to solidify the truce.

Steven's further gesture successfully solidifies the truce. In the end, the conflict is resolved and both parties move to put the matter behind them.

***

Scenario B: Male Offends Female

This time, let us reexamine this scenario with one seemingly minor change. Like the first time, Steven is caught flirting with Lacy. However, in this scenario, he was caught by his own girlfriend, Diane. Again, Steven sets out to make amends. 

Needless to say, a situation of tension has, once again, been created. It should also be noted that, added to this tension, is the fact that Diane does not like Lacy very much. This is because Lacy always gets attention from the guys due to the fact that she wears shorter, tighter skirts and also because, unlike most other stick women, has breasts...

Large ones!

Once again, Steven, is the offending party and has to resolve the situation. He, again, attempts to open a dialogue with the one offended party, Diane.

Steven admits his wrong. Only, this time, we can clearly see that the volume of hostility from the offended party is significantly more. This may be a bit disarming and one must stay focused in handling such a situation such as this. Remaining calm and focused is key in being able to formulate the right words and actions to properly diffuse the situation.

Unfortunately, Steven does not do this.

As we can see, Steven fails to tailor his type of apology to properly suit the situation. It is widely understood that, when dealing with members of the opposite sex, a certain level of delicacy and diplomacy must be observed. Steven's unfortunate misjudgment quickly leads to the following outcome.

 ________________________________

  ________________________________

  ________________________________

  ________________________________

In conclusion, we cannot forget the reverse to the second scenario – where the female is the offender and the male is the offended. However, this can easily be summed up in the last two illustrations.

Scenario C: Female Offends Male

________________________________

End of Chapter 1

Feelin' The Love

Whoa! What the..? I know I've hardly been on the web this week but... how did this happen? When I started writing a post to properly thank Nenette from life candy for passing me this award:

For which the rules for accepting this award are:
1. Thank & Link back to the person who awarded you this.
2. Share 7 things about yourself.
3. Pay it forward to 5 recently discovered great bloggers.
4. Contact those bloggers and tell them about their award.

Then I found that I also received it from paulsifer42 from I took the one less traveled by and that has made all the difference who also gave me this:

The rules for accepting this award are:
1) Thank and link back to the person who honored you with this award.
2) Share 7 things about yourself.
3) Award 15 recently discovered bloggers (Fif- FIFTEEN!?! Well... I-um...)
4) Contact these bloggers and tell them about the award.

Then, the next thing I know, I also get this baby as well from Absolutely Primed from Over Developed, Under Exposed and from Semi True Torystellar from Can U Relate?

The rules for accepting this award are:

1. Link to the person who gave you this award (in a post, or in your sidebar, wherever you have this).
2. Pass the award along to seven other people who post about at least slightly amusing things and tell them (by emailing them or commenting on a post, etc.).
3. Say seven things about yourself that no one knows (or at least you think no one knows).
4. Pass these rules on.

WOW! You guys are really spreading the love! Thanks to you all.

These bloggers are really good so, if the rest of you guys aren't checking out any of these blogs yet, you better! Don't you make me come over there.

Now, as you can see, most of the rules for these awards are basically the same so I should be able to fit it all into one post.

First – thank & link back to the person who awarded you this: Check!

********

Next, it's confession time. All of the awards ask for for me to share seven things about myself:

Here are 7 things I hate (not really) about me:

1) I.hate.driving. There! I said it. For no other reason than it requires you to be focused for the entire point A to point B trip. When do you get time to nap or play games on your cell phone? I've seen people try to combine these with driving and results are never good. Trust me. Because of this, not only do I not own a car, I also have successfully managed to get to this point without actually getting my license yet. Don't get me wrong, I've taken classes and I know the basics. It's just some kind of weird commitment issue, I guess. Sadly I see it, more and more, becoming a necessary evil. As a result, I have decided to get it this year.

2) I mentioned here and there that I once took Thai-Boxing but what I never mentioned is that I also trained competitively in my secondary school swim team. I wasn't the fastest but I was okay. I don't know if I could have won anything. The whole thing fizzled out when a lot of the guys lost interest and the team was reduced to me and one other guy.

3) I'm Batman Once, as a child, I almost drowned. I was just learning to swim and developed a fear of the water due to that incident. Eventually, I got tired of the whole phobia thing and went on to the swim-team thing mentioned earlier. I'm still very cautious when it comes to the ocean, though. I don't trust that mo-fo one bit.

4) I've always been naturally flexible. For as long as I can remember. I can even do a split. You know, like that French martial arts dude. What was his name again... Depardieu?

FEAR MY ELITE MS PAINT SKILLZ!!!

5) It irritates my wife how basic when it comes to how I dress. I've never been into getting the latest "gear". A comfortable pair of jeans, a good, strong pair of boots and a t-shirt suits me for most occasions.

6) I ran out of things to say from number 3 and have been making shit up. Kidding! I love pasta. Loved it since I was a kid and have never grown tired of it (Might explain the weight thing).

7) I can actually cook. Growing up, Big Momma C showed me how. She said no woman was ever going to have her firstborn and only son at a disadvantage in that respect. I used to pretend I was useless in the kitchen because I'm lazy my wife is much better at it than I am. Eventually, she saw through it, though. So now, most meals we prepare together. I suppose there isn't anything you can teach your son that can make a man able to not be a slave to the female vagina (Not that I'd ever want to take that class. That would have been just all kinds of wrong... ewe!).

********

Finally, the last set of rules ask me to pass the love on and notify the lucky recipients. Thing is, you guys have been working overtime in the blog love dep't. Seems like everyone's got one or more of these already. Serves me right for being so busy IRL. So, while the rules say seven and fifteen, I'm gonna go with five. Sorry.

I have been expanding my blog reading portfolio and these are some of the most recent ones I've gotten into (even though some of them mightn't have known it).

So, in no particular order I present these awards, in no particular order, to:

Georgiana Dollface
Oilfield Trash
Kev D

Vicki

A Little Sprite

I've been really trying to keep up but, in case some of you may have already some of these, please please don't feel obligated to go over the same acceptance rituals you may have already been through before.

Once again, thanks for sharing the love.

Random Things That May Cause Severe Emotional Trauma

I see annoying people. Walking around like regular people. They don't know they're annoying...

Of course, shout out to Keely the Un Mom for Random Tuesday Thoughts possible. See her for a more skilled random experience.


- What I remember most about The Sixth Sense is being told by some idiot in Thai-boxing class about the Bruce-Willis-being-a-ghost surprise ending the day before you actually saw it.

I went back the next day and punched him... Hard. You can call it sparring, if you like. I call it, "Thanks for ruining the entire movie for me, asshole!"


- I was reading about this new restaurant called Atmosphere in Dubai. It's on the 122nd floor. The designer says you're supposed to feel elegant, luxurious and sexy when you eat there (it amazes me, sometimes, that they can actually say douchey things like that with a straight face). Then again, at that altitude, gravity may not be an issue and you may actually be weightless even after your meal.


Since Mrs. C is extremely terrified of heights, if were were to overlook the hefty airfare and cost of the meals, the words that come to mind to me are nauseous, paralyzed with fear and I'mnothungryanymorepleasegetmethehelloutofhere!!!


- Speaking of nauseating restaurant ideas, I'm sure you've heard that Flavor Flav has opened a restaurant. Yup! Flav's Fried Chicken has arrived. The experienced has been described as having an extremely oily smell but surprisingly tasty.


I think I'll pass.


Flav intends to work in the premier location in Iowa. There, he'll be seasoning, flouring and frying the chicken himself. Plus, if he decides to serve you your meal too can look forward to this:

You hungry yet?


- There's a rule about walking into a public restroom and finding the lid down. You're supposed to just back away slowly and quietly and try your luck elsewhere. I ignored that rule today.


I may have nightmares for weeks.

********

I'll end on a positive note. I have to thank Nenette over at Life Candy gave me Stylish Blogger blog:

This one's got some rules to follow and I'm going to dedicate a post specifically to it. For those of you who haven't checked Nenette's blog out yet, go on over. Trust me, you'll feel good about yourselves when you do.

Blog Luvin' & Shameless Pluggin'

Whew! It's been a busy past two weeks. First. was the surprise (possible) house purchase (more on that when I have any news). Then that whole battle with the head cold from hell (I'm not a zombie so I guess I won). Also, school's back in and, in a totally out-of-character move, I managed to post almost every day this week. I've also just managed to pass the fifty follower mark *waves “hi” to new homies* Sweet!!! You guys are awesome!

But this is a bit overdue. I won't go a step further without saying thanks to some kind people who shared some blog love with me recently.

First, I got this baby here from Vicki over at Glitter Frog for winning her weekly Tuesday Toss-Up caption contest:

Want one? Go on over and and be snarky. You just may be next.

This next one comes from both, it's creator, Miss Nikki at my cyber house rules and Nari at narislife. This award is also given out to witty commenters.

These three are really great bloggers themselves and you should totally check them out if you haven't yet. You won't be disappointed. Trust me.


The second award comes with the condition that I answer one question. I'll get to that in a bit...

Hmmm... Two awards, from three separate bloggers, given to me for my snarky commenting abilities. You'd think, say, if there was, maybe, oh, I don't know, some kinda vote going on right now for that sorta thing that I'd have a chance, huh?

Oh, by the way, in a totally unrelated topic, Studio 30+ is having their Boomerang Awards and I seem to have been nominated for a few categories, including:

"Newbie Award", "Best Male Blog", "Funniest Blogger", and "Snarkiest Commenter".

Funny that...

Now, as I said before, the second award required me to answer one question. That question is:

“Do your witty answers pop instantly in your head when you read the post with an immediate urge to hit the comment button or do you have to sit and ponder?”

In answer to this I have to say, a bit of both. Most of the time, my comments are spontaneous. They generally pop in as I read. Other times, but not as often, I may not comment right away. It may be due to distraction or lack of focus, sleep, coffee, whatever. Then there are times my OCD will kick in and I'll want to make sure the comment is just right. This may involve one or a combination of: googling, spell checking, finding proper reference sources and citations, spinning in my chair for several minutes, placing elbows on desk while I clasp my hands pensively over my mouth in a manner denoting intense concentration, etc.

Unfortunately, I don't proof read after. That always slips me. Sorry, never been my strong suit. This will unavoidably lead to the occasional “comment fail”.

There! That deals with the Q&A segment of this post. Now, if you're a member of Studio 30+, I hope you've voted for me already. If you aren't a member and you're thirty and over, I suggest you quit yer lollygagging (yes, "lollygagging". Sorry for such coarse language) and join. And then vote.

Ice Packs, Anyone?

I'd mentioned recently that crazy situations always seem to happen around me. In less than a week I've borne witness to two such incidents.

I'll start with the most recent. This reminded me as to just how my fellow man can truly amaze me sometimes.

I mean us guys, literally:

Last night, while on my way home from my first class of the semester, I see something going on just ahead of me. As I got closer I could see that a car had stalled in the middle of the street. This street in particular was very narrow and all traffic has been blocked from proceeding. I get there and soon learn from a fellow onlooker that something has locked the wheels and the car wouldn't move more than a few inches either way.

Pop quiz! What's the solution to this predicament?

If you said call a tow truck, you'd be right!

Right?

Wrong! At least according to the group of guys there, anyway. In all honesty, the solution they concocted was much better.

“We're men! We can handle this in a manly way!” (I'm almost certain that was what they were saying just before I got there)

The correct method of handling the situation, according to these guys was to attempt to lift the vehicle and carry it to the side of the road.


Yeah...

source

Truth be told, it could have worked too. I mean, there were about eight of them (even though one of them looked to be in his fifties). The vehicle was a small Mitsubishi too, so at least they had that going for them.

Alas, twas not to be. If only the biggest guy there was willing to get off his damn cell for just one minute and use both hands.

I suppose it should be applauded that they managed to move it a few inches.

Ouch! Is there a chiropractor in the house?

********

Exhibit “B” involves a case of young love:

I'm traveling home one afternoon last week. I'm in the front seat of the taxi so I have a clear view of the road ahead – not that I was really paying attention. The traffic was heavy and after a soul sucking day at the office I like to let my mind drift to my happy place. However, something draws my attention to the car in front of me. Through the faintly tinted rear windscreen I observe the frantic gestures of a man and woman arguing.

As quickly as I notice the scene I am ready to dismiss it. It isn't any of my business, anyway.

Traffic continues to crawl but I'm almost home. We continue along in a stop-and-go pace when, suddenly, just as traffic began to move again, the passenger-side door of the car in front of us (the one with the arguing couple) opens. Two legs stick out and, moments later, the young woman, possibly her late teens or early twenties, jumps out of the moving vehicle. The driver of the vehicle I'm in hits the brakes and we both look on in amazement as she lands, looses balance and face-plants into the asphalt.

Closest pic I could find resembling how her
fall looked. Sand & water would have been
more merciful than asphalt, I think.

I.shit.you.not.

Before either of us could think of how to react, she then gets to her feet, calmly closes the car door, straightens her t-shirt, dusts off her leggings (and her face, of course) and walks off in the opposite direction.

In case you were wondering about her male companion, after the young woman had closed the car door, he continued on for a few feet and pulled into a nearby storefront parking lot. When we passed him I could see that he was just sitting in the car looking in the direction in which his companion walked off.

You guessed it! He was actually to see if she was going to come back.

Seems like a winner. Makes me wonder why she made such a hasty exit.

Between her sorely bruised cheek and equally bruised ego, I think she's gonna stay indoors for a few days.

RTT: Medicated, Sedated & Over-Caffeinated Edition

Greetings! And a special "hello" and "welcome" to my new followers I picked up in the last few days. I see you over there.

I'm trying to be more consistent with my RTT's. So not even this monster cold is going to stop me, dammit! Ow! Even yelling and shaking my fist at the sky hurts...

Of course, shout out to Keely, the Un Mom for making Random Tuesday Thoughts possible.

- I ran out of non-drowsy cold meds today so I’m forced to take the ones chocked-full of lovely sedatives. To compensate and keep my head from falling to my desk with a loud “THUD!!!”, I’m on a coffee binge. Currently, I’m on my third cup in the last two hours. My head is still banging on the desk but now I just bang it again a few more times real fast for good measure.

Next step is to run an coffee IV drip.

- Okay, that’s it! I’ve officially decided to stop complaining about my cold…

After this…

You know that cartoon where the guy is run over by a bus full of tourists so fat their stomachs are bulging out the windows… and the bus then proceeds to back over him and drive forward over him again and then the process is repeated again… and again… and again… then the bus driver comes out and blasts the guy on the ground with a flamethrower for a few seconds? Remember that one? That would feel so great right about now. I sneeze so hard, my rib cage is like, “DUDE!!! What the hell?!”

- That’s it. My last bitch about this cold. Most likely because if it gets any worse I’ll either spontaneously combust or succumb to it and emerge a full fledged zombie. Then my next post will sound like, “RAWRR!!! Me eat Boss Lady brains today. It taste like coo-coo bird.”

- Mrs. C watches Nigerian movies from time to time. They've started to grow in popularity here in recent years. They're not my thing but, this weekend, she asked me to watch one with her.

Holy.crap!

Have you ever watched one of these?! It was watching a school play. Yes, that bad. For the first half hour I had to keep asking what the hell was going on. I ended up sliding off the sofa when she let her guard down and crawling away soldier-style just to escape.

- Brief dialogue with Boss Man last week, just before the start of an overseas,  online conference meeting with one of the company’s suppliers:

Boss Man: Okay, this is the first time we’re doing this online. Vinny, you’re the IT student, the instructions are on this email. Let’s see what you got.

Me: (Looking at email) Oh, it’s easy. All you have to do is type in this URL and you’re all set.

Boss Man: Wait, wait, wait! Slow down, Mr. IT student! First, what is a URL?

Me: (Falls off chair.)

For Sale By Owner

One Used Respiratory System.


Full system including nose and nasal passage and accompanying pair of lungs being offered.
Owner recommends that system be used for scrap as it is in serious state of disrepair.

Defects Include:
Items offered have shown tendency to leak profusely when warmed up. Otherwise extensive cleaning required to restore normal function which is obstructed by solidified residue.
Items also have shown a tendency to overheat.

Owner willing to negotiate other more efficient system is currently sought (gills maybe?).

That's as much griping as I'm going to do.

Today.

A Whole Lot of Rambling & Doubt - You Were Warned.

I’m not in the best of moods today.

It isn’t because I’m coming down with the cold. I got caught in some rain yesterday morning and, for some reason, my normally resilient system descended down a stuffy, sniffley, congested slope.

Neither is it due to only getting four hours of sleep last night and then having to deal with a ridiculously heavy workload today. I’ve dealt with this by pushing the stack of paperwork aside to compose this post.

Normally, looking at the morning’s headlines and seeing that it isn't rife with criminal activity but, instead highlighted the spirited political debate among the jackholes respected officials who make up the nation’s leaders and opposition about a matter of national urgency. Was it our subpar health care system? Noooo. How to address the spiraling crime rate, perhaps? Nope! No sir. Apparently a grand piano went missing. HOLY SHIT!!! Why haven’t they called a state of emergency yet?! I mean, a missing piano? This is big! Fuck the ridiculous murder rate! Pianos are going missing, people! We may need to petition the UN for international assistance on this one. Oh, and item number two for debate involved a minister damaging a state owned vehicle. Major stuff going on…

But, no, none of these are the cause of my unease.

Truth is there are some big goings-on in the C. household. We may be on the road to acquiring our own house. Mrs. C’s already seen the place and is ecstatic (I’m going to have my first look this Saturday). She is also really nervous. We’ve talked about buying a house for a long time but conditions were never right before. Now that we’re actually this close she’s having a hard time wrapping her mind around being a homeowner. It's such a grown up move! As a result she suffered a bout of insomnia last night - which, in turn caused me the aforementioned the sleep deprivation.

What has me uncomfortable is the speed at which this whole thing seems to be falling into place.

First off, this entire house opportunity only fell into our laps this Monday. Mrs. C was out completing some errands before she want to work when she met an old friend from her days as a legal secretary. This old friend was involved in the development on a new housing project and, since he always had a crush on her they were such good friends, he’d give us a chance to check it out. We did (or rather, she did), thoroughly. Turns out it’s legit. A senior manager from another branch of the same company she currently works for had just taken possession of one of the finished buildings. All this aside, for the last three days - especially yesterday when dollar signs were finally brought into the equation - things have been pretty hectic.

In our relationship, I'm the tortoise and she's the hare. But we don't work against each other because of it. In fact, our conflicting personalities serve to normally balance each other out. When I'm playing it too cool and cautious she's there to gives me the kick in the ass I need to take the next step. Likewise, when she's moving at warp ten, I'm there to put on the brakes to avoid any crashing into brick walls.

It works.

My cautious personality means I also hate loose ends. I don't need to have all the bases covered but I feel a bit more comfortable with some wiggle room, an airbag, an escape route. The "Oh, for the love of Pete, somebody show me where the blasted exits are already!!!" type. There hasn't been much opportunity to apply brakes in this matter. Time is a critical factor as there are only three or four houses left. The pace is giving me whiplash.

Truth be told, we've gone over the options. We know we wanted to move but that was to save on cost. This brings up another concern. We'll actually be paying more per month than we're paying now. Sacrifices will have to be made. Corners will have to be cut. But, all-in-all, nothing we can't work with. We'd have to adjust to it. I guess I'm being a baby about having to cut out some creature comforts.

I realize that it may just be my cautious nature screaming for some sort of reassurance that this won't all blow up in our faces and (goshthatwalliscomingupmightyfast!), maybe, this could actually be the right step. For now, I just don't know.

I just realized how long this ramble's been going on and I think I'll stop boring you for now (assuming you're still with me, have a drink cookie on me).

Thanks for the patient ear-um-eye.

Random Tuesday Thoughts 2011: Spammers & Idiots & Bieber... Oh My!!!

Well, it's a new year, it's a new day, it's a new life, for me. And I'm feeling...

Of course, shout out to Keely, the Un Mom for making Random Tuesday Thoughts possible. She totally own RTT and  for a better quality of random you should go to her.

- If I say, "I was stabbed in the hand on Sunday." that sounds both frightening and cool at the same time, right? But, if I then say, "it was just the tip of the knife. It barely broke the skin." and then add, "I did it to myself while making a sandwich." not so much, huh?

- The spammers have found me. I've received two in two days. I suppose it was inevitable. What concerns me though is that I've only been contacted by marketers for ED treatment drugs. It's making me a little nervous. I'm not in the market for these products and I have to wonder who they have been getting their info from. I mean, my wife is the only one to make a qualified comment on the matter and - not to brag - I'm sure she isn't complaining.

Is she?

- On the front page of a local paper, I saw a photo of a guy being made to lie on the street by the police. The story went that he was caught taking a late night joyride on the highway connecting north and south Trinidad...

On a snowmobile...

I've mentioned a few times that I live in the tropics, right? How does this become an option? "I think I'll take the snowmobile to make that beer run." More importantly, I'm having a hard time wrapping my mind around the fact that he got this into the country in the first place and how he had to justify this to customs. Didn't they think the idiot might actually be tempted to use it?

- Three words that will strike terror into the hearts of (sane) adults - especially parents - everywhere:

Justin.


Bieber.


Movie...

In freakin' 3D. Yup, you heard me.

- Also, this little guy's passing through:

Courtesy of Midwestern Mama Holly of Are you serious. He's a free spirit who doesn't like to be tied down so, if you're reading this he wants you to take him home. And he's not demanding either because he only has one request. Let people know who sent him over. In the words of Mama H: "The only thing I ask is that when you take the seal, link him back to my blog, then pass him on... asking those who take him from your blog to link him back to you. And so ... and so on .... and so on.". So spread the love already.

Finally! I Have Arrived.

The day has come, at long last. I've seen other bloggers make mention of their receiving such an honor and I wondered, when, oh when, would my turn come. I'll admit I felt a pang of jealousy whenever I heard of one my friends getting one of these and then felt my heart sink with despair when I would check my email and see that I had been left out... yet again...


Why? Why wasn't I chosen? Wasn't I deserving enough? Like Aesop's old fable, I became the fox calling the grapes sour.

"Screw it!" I thought, "I don't need your attention. You don't define me. You don't validate me!"

But inside I knew it was a lie. I wanted those grapes. Anger and resentment slowly began to well up inside of me. It boiled and churned within creating a bitterness that I fought hard to keep it in check.

But, today the agony ended. Today, I opened my inbox and there it was:

"Mynetpharma  to asvinnycsit

Mynetpharma has left a new comment on your post "Some People Need Feel In Order To Learn.":

I feel so relaxed and surely much updated after reading the articles that you keep updating on the website. It relieves me a lot and at the same time informs me because there according to me isn’t anything that is much informed as you are.

Regards,
kamagra 

Posted by Mynetpharma to As Vinny C's It at January 10, 2011 5:31 AM"

Awww, hell yeah!!! I've been spammed, yo! Booyah!!! The glass ceiling has been broken and I'm one of the cool kids now. Do you see it? "...there isn’t anything that is much informed as you are..." Such kind words...

Oh, where to begin? First, I'd like to thank the interweb for making this possible. I'd also like to thank blogger, my parents, my fellow bloggers for their endless support. And, of course, I have to thank my loving wife *smiles humbly and waves at Mrs. C in the crowd*. It was through her patience and reassurance that I was able to endure this agonizing wait for my time in the sun. Let me tell you, she put up with A LOT. The drinking, the manic depressive bouts of anger, the endless hours repeatedly checking my four email accounts and comment pages. This honor is as much hers as it is mine. Oh, and let me not forget...

What the?!

OH, DAMMIT TO HELL!!!

The Wonderful World of Blogging Part II: Interview With A Vinny

From time to time I like to go over my old posts. Not for any narcissistic reasons, though. It's just that it allows me to maintain some perspective as to where this blogger-brick road is taking me. Like so many others, I've called this my personal therapy session from time-to-time and I actually have discovered quite a few things about myself through blogging.

But I've begun to notice other things. Certain aspects of my personality that, before blogging, would have gone unnoticed have begun to reveal themselves to me as I reveal them to everyone else. To properly articulate what I'm trying to describe, I composed a little mock interview with my pre-blog self which I feel describes the me that I see emerging. The answers are compiled of little bits and pieces from my past blog posts and comment responses:

Pre-Blog Me: So, tell me your name.

Blogger Me: Vinny C.

Pre-Blog Me: Okay. And tell me...

Blogger Me: Or you can also call me Major Über Zap.

Pre-Blog Me: Sorry, what?

Blogger Me: Major Über Zap. Master of static electricity, scourge of metrosexuals, spoiled brats and permissive parents everywhere and ever-watchful guardian against alien attack. But you don't have to say any of that other stuff. Just Major Über Zap.

Pre-Blog Me: Ooookaay... So you're a superhero, then? Well, I guess that explains the cape anyway. I guess that means you have powers?

Blogger Me: Yes. I can google info like nobody's business.

Pre-Blog Me: That's not really an impressive super-power.

Blogger Me: I wasn't done! I also store massive amounts of static electricity which, initially, used to cause me to get zapped from doorknobs and filing cabinets but I can now unleash upon my foes.

Pre-Blog Me: I see. Interesti...

Blogger Me: Through spankings.

Pre-Blog Me: Huh?

Blogger Me: I give static electric spankings. I call them “Shock-Spanks”.

Pre-Blog Me: Hmmm...

Blogger Me: Also, if I come up against a really tough opponent I can boost my powers with the help of coffee. I call those “Cafe-Au-Shock-Spank”.

Pre-Blog Me: …

Blogger Me: What?

Pre-Blog Me: Let's just move on, okay. Do you have any weaknesses?

Blogger Me: Um, yes, Japan.

Pre-Blog Me: You're weak against an entire country?

Blogger Me: Uh-huh, mostly. Well, to be more specific, when I come into contact with anything from Japanese pop-culture I become a lazy, useless geek of a nerd.

Pre-Blog Me: Sounds unpleasant. So tell me, as a superhero I suspect you have enemies.

Blogger Me: Yes, I do. Many. But my arch-nemeses are called Boss Man and Boss Lady. They're a husband/wife team. I do battle with them every Monday to Friday.

Pre-Blog Me: Sounds tough.

Blogger Me: It is. And I also suspect they may be sexual deviants.

Pre-Blog Me: Really, why is that?

Blogger Me: (Look around nervously, leans in closely and whispers) This one time she asked about my... going number 1.

Pre-Blog Me: What?

Blogger Me: (Still whispering) You know... she asked about... when I pee.

Pre-Blog Me: Oh!

Blogger Me: (Voice still low) And while she was asking, her husband didn't say an-y-thing. He just listened.

Pre-Blog Me: That's disturbing.

Blogger Me: (Normal volume) No shit. Not that I don't suspect they weren't curious about that too.

Pre-Blog Me: Anyhow, let's try to get back on track (not as if we ever were). Going back to the cape for a sec. What are those things on the shoulders?

Blogger Me: Oh, these? Those make up the rapid detachment system I put in place... for my cape.

Pre-Blog Me: I see.

Blogger Me: That way, if I get it caught in an enemy trap or a car door or something I can quickly escape.

Pre-Blog Me: I guess that makes sense. You know what, I'm tired I have a headache and I think I've heard enough for now. Plus, I need a drink.

Blogger Me: I'll buy. Coffee?

Pre-Blog Me: NO!!!

******

Well! I don't know about you but I think therapy's working out just fine.

The Vinny Show

I've noticed a long time ago that I never seem to run out of awkward and/or crazy situations. Maybe it's just my way of interpreting those situations. Maybe I'm surrounded by crazy people...

Or...

Maybe my life is actually just a sitcom that the rest of the world is watching and I'm the only one that isn't aware.

I don't really know. What I do know is that situations constantly arise which make me question my sanity or the sanity of those around me. Take the other morning for instance:

Boss Lady (aka wife of Boss Man) comes out of her dingbat cave:
Boss Lady: I need a man!
Me: (Good luck on that).
Boss Lady: Vinny! Good, you're here. I need a male to check the mens' room and see if the urinal still leaking. Do you know if it is?
Me: I don't know. Probably.
Boss Lady: Well, could you check the mens room urinal? The plumber came by yesterday and fixed the leak. I want to make sure he did a good job.

I check. It isn't leaking. I go back and confirm this with her.

Boss Lady: Good...

Then sanity briefly leaves the room...


Boss Lady: Did you use the bathroom today?


Me: Um... No...
Boss Lady: Did you use it yesterday?
Me: (I... I... I-I don't know! I didn't know there'd be a quiz. I wasn't paying attention. No one told me I had to take notes!) I don't remember.
Boss Lady: Okay.
She returns to the dingbat cave.

See? This is what I mean. I didn't even exaggerate any of this. Stuff like this always seems to happen to me. Whatever the case, it provides me with plenty of fodder for blogging.

By the way, do you think I have a case for a sexual harassment suit?

********

Oh! In today's episode: Results came in and, apparently, I passed last semester's courses. (Woohoo!) I was a bit iffy on one of them but I scraped by.

And You Thought I Was Irresistible

Well 2011's here and now we all have to get used to not screwing up the date on forms. I've been kinda out of it for the past few days. Made the mistake of doing some retrospective on my life with the new year and got a little depressed. But I dealt with it and I'm back.

When we last left off I was showing off my new awards. Now if you don't already follow dbs and Semi True Toristellar then WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?! They're way better than I am. Go see for yourself. Don't worry. I'll be here when you get back.

Back? Alright! So, as was saying, they both gave me some cool awards and, while I've already said "thank you" real nice-like, Tori's comes with rules [insert gender biased joke here].

That's this one:

According to Mynx, the creator of this award, it seems I have to share five guilty pleasures. But before I get into it I'll pass this award on to Nari of narislife. Her's is one of the blogs that definitely keeps me going back for more.

Well now that the foreplay's over with I'll get right into it (twss).

Here we go.

The first is junk food (much to Mrs. C's chagrin). From burgers to fries to pizza to... Great! Now I'm drooling...

The second is no surprise. I've made my love for the magic bean (aka: coffee) well known.

Next is also no surprise: gaming - Sure people roll their eyes and make exasperated sighs when they hear this but it's my hobby... *hugs controller* and I love it.

Okay let's get one thing clear right now. I'm a geek. My major is IT, I watch and read sci-fi, I look forward to some of the superhero flicks coming out and I'm a gamer and this brings up number 3 on my list: Japanese anime (pleasedon'tunfollowme!)

This leads to the last, which is both a guilty pleasure and a secret shame all in one. If you watch enough anime you can't help but notice all that theme music they play called J-Pop which, unfortunately, I've... kinda... gotten... a little... addicted to (PLEASEPLEASEPLEASEDON'TUNFOLLOWME!!!)

There you have it... You know where to leave the hate mail. I'm going to go in a dark corner with a bucket of chicken & my MP3 player (you can guess what's on the playlist).