Tuesday, October 26, 2010

I Can Stop Anytime I Want To... I Just Don't Want To.

Mrs. C says that I have a problem. She seems to be of the opinion that I have become totally obsessed with drink a little too much coffee. After listening to her... um... argument, I myself began to wonder if there wasn't some truth to what she said. I remember, as a kid, I would say, "I don't know how adults can drink that!" and, "It smells nasty!" and even, "I will never drink coffee when I grow up!" Ah, the naivety of youth...

So what happened? When did it all change?

Then I started to think that, maybe, I was being too hard on myself. I might not even be addicted to coffee and I know people who are waaaay worse than me. To get some true perspective, I decided to make a list of how coffee has affected my life:
  • When the study showed coffee as having those oh-so-good-for-you antioxidants I saved the article for use in future arguments with anti-coffee fanatics.
  • I must not be talked to, asked anything of or interacted with in any way, shape or form until I've had at least one hit of caffeine. (Be prepared to lose a hand if you even attempt touching me pre: morning cup.)
  • I'm of the firm opinion that if Jack's family were interviewed following the beanstalk incident one would discover that the "magic beans" referred to in the account that brought them adventure, fame and wealth were, in fact, coffee beans.
  • I've attended meetings, seminars and conferences solely on the promise that free coffee would be available.
  • I took my own coffee mug to the office because there's no way in hell those standard-sized mugs hold anywhere near enough.

  • My scariest morning ever was when I woke up to find the coffee at home was finished. I kept it together until I got to work only to realize it was done there too. (I'm told I was found on the office kitchen floor, curled in a fetal ball, clutching my mug and whispering, "It's only a dream. A terrible, terrible dream..." over and over again.)

    As I suspected, no problem at all. Besides, I'm pretty sure there isn't any kind of support group or twelve-step program here in T&T to deal with this. And I'm pretty sure I wouldn't join anyway... Unless they had free coffee available.


    1. hahahaha love it! And as far as attending those seminars as long as they are not at a Marriott, their coffee has to be the worst!!

      (received a frantic email from my son this morning to pre-order Cataclysm... it is done and now all is right with the universe)

    2. Thanks for the heads-up... Note to self: Blow off Marriott meeting.

      Believe me you've just totally made his Christmas.

    3. Coffee is the devil. Get out while you can. Or not. There are worse addictions.

    4. I hear you. I'm going to have to wean myself off of it somehow. My wife's helpful encouragement - and the threats - will help.

    5. There are far worse addictions out there than coffee, like playing WOW every waking moment... oh wait.. never mind I see your strategy and you are good!

    6. Oh you're fine!!! If you start spending children's college funds on specialized coffee equipment, or if the employees at the local coffee shops cut you off, or they start asking you to meet them around the back of the store in order to have you try some new, unreleased varieties that didn't go so well during animal testing phases... then you MAY have a small issue on your hands. Otherwise, you keep charging ahead!

    7. @ Dr. Cynicism: FINALLY! Someone who understands.

      Hmmm. I'm curious to learn more about those unreleased varieties, though.

    8. @Nubian: I don't play EVERY waking moment... My laptop won't survive in the shower - learned that lesson the hard way.


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