When You...

That moment...

It's My Party & I'll Be Creeped Out If I Want To.

I'm off to jury service in a minute but before I go I'm tackling the Studio 30 Plus weekly prompt today. This week is based on: "Your Earliest Memory Of Your Own Birthday Party". I'll tell you my tale. But you got to swear you'll never tell anyone about this...


EVER!

Birthday parties were never a huge deal in our family when I was growing up. In fact, the only one I can ever remember having was back when I attended kindergarten. This kindergarten that was on the grounds of a catholic church and run by nuns. Yeah. Good times!


Actually, to be honest, they were. It was there, in fact, that the party was thrown. The nuns apparently loved parties for the children since, of my few memories from attending that school, most of them involved some type of party of function.


That day there were two other kids, Tia and Ronald who stood on either side. They celebrated their birthdays that week as well so the nuns decided to lump them all up into one event. But that day was actually birthday. "My day! It was more special than theirs" as a child's mind would reason. But still we had to share so whatever. Only the only birthday party I've ever had. You know, whatever.


Anyway, I remember when it was my turn. They had already dealt with Ronald and Tia all now of the children sing the Happy Birthday song for me. I've never liked being the center of attention. Normally it would have been because I was in trouble for something. But not that day. For once, I was the star of the show and I loved it. I looked at the cake. I looked at the other kids. I felt appreciated. Soon the song ends.


Nun: Blow out the candles, Vinny.


And Ronald blows the candles out.


Me: Heeeeeyyy!!!
Nun: No, Ronald. It's Vinny's turn. you already blew out your candles.


She lights the candles again. To recreate the mood she asks the other children to sing me the song again. They're only too happy to oblige. Somehow singing loud and off-key is just endless fun for a young child. Soon they bring it home. And as the song ends...


Ronald blows the candles out. AGAIN!


Son of a bitch!


Nun: Ronald! That's enough. You had your turn!


Her voice was so stern that I was sure Ronald almost wet himself. One last time she lit the candles. She doesn't bother making the other kids sing this time however.


Nun: Okay, Vin- RONALD!!!


Yup, you guessed it! Old Ronnie-boy just couldn't help himself and, once again, blew out every last candle. 


Nun: Never mind. Vinny, Tia... Ronald... (she glared at him) cut the cake.
Other nun (holding the camera): Okay, Tia, give Vinny a kiss for the picture.


She did. A quick peck just long enough for the photo to be taken. But as she did it I noticed something odd. The kiss was in stereo. Either she was a really good kisser or...


RONALD!!!

Just my luck the nun happened to snap the photo with both Tia and... Ronald both giving me a kiss on either cheek. Thinking back he looked way too into it. Momma C still has that photo. I don't know in what incriminating way she intends to still use it, but whatever her plan is, it can't be good.

I've also got another article on Sprocket Ink this morning at 10AM. I won't be home by that time so I won't be able to link it directly until later.


[UPDATE] The above link now goes directly to my Sprocket Ink post.

Fighting Temptation

This morning:

Me: Hey, lemme handle the groceries myself. I got a million things to do today and I'll get this done faster on my own.
Mrs C: You sure?
Me: Yeah, no problem.
Mrs. C: Alright, let's do up a list.

We sit down and quickly prepare a list of the items needed.

Mrs. C: Now, we're on a budget so be sure to stick to the list.
Me: Yeah, yeah, yeah...
Mrs. C: I mean it. Stick.to.the.list.
Me: Relax. I'm on it.
Mrs. C: 'K, thanks.

So I head out. I breeze through the produce market - even saved some money with some smart shopping. Then it's off to the supermarket to finish up. I cruise through the lanes, grabbing the necessary items and feeling proud for maintaining such strict discipline in adhering to the oh so sacred list.
Then, while in the freezer section the following inner dialogue begins:

Inner Vinny: Dude. Dude! Hot Pockets! When was the last time we had those.
Me: It's been a while, hasn't it? Too bad we're on a budget.
Inner Vinny: C'mon! It's just this one thing. Oooh, look! They have Ham and Cheese. We love Ham and Cheese! Meatball and Mozzarella's good too. Ooooooh, we've never had the Chicken Melt and Bacon. We could totally...
Me: STOP IT!!! You heard her, we're on a budget. We're sticking to this list!
Inner Vinny: But... Hot Pockets...
Me: No!

I continue to get the stuff on the list, "...detergent, hand soap..."
"Hot Pockets!"
"No! Quiet!"
"Whimper."
Just then the phone rings with the ringtone I set for my wife.

Me: Yo
Mrs. C: Hey.
Me: 'Sup?
Mrs. C: How're things going?
Me: Good. Almost done. Stickin' to the budget.
Mrs. C: 'K. That's good. Anyhow, listen, I need you to pick up a few more things. I think I'll have salad for lunch a few times this week.
Me: Salad?
Mrs. C: Don't worry. It's just for me. I know you don't like salads. Pick up some black olives, cucumbers and lettuce too.
Me: Black olives? Aren't those a bit more expensive? What about the budget? Remember?
Mrs. C: (Cutesy voice) I knoooow. But I like black olives better.
Me: Well...
Mrs. C: 'K, thanks. Bye. Luv ya.
Me: Uhhhh, yeah... You too.

Call ends.

Me: ...
Inner Vinny: I want the Chicken Melt and Bacon.
Me: 'K.