Monday, May 28, 2018

Conversations With Mrs C: The Voice Of Palatability.

Me: Hey, let me ask you something. Do you think I have a good voice?
Mrs C: Hmm?
Me: Not like a good singing voice or anything. I mean, like, a good speaking voice. People tell me from time-to-time I could an announcer or that I have a good voice for giving speeches.
Mrs C: Who told you that?
Me: I've heard it in school a few times. It's why I almost always get picked to be the front-man for group presentations and-
Mrs C: Maybe the others just don't want to present.
Me: Well... I guess. But still, it's not just in school. I'm asking because someone in work said it today when I mentioned I was studying Communications.
(My wife tilts her head and considers it for a few seconds...)
Mrs C: I guess you could say that you do. I mean, it's very nonthreatening... Palatable, you know? Not like those aggressive-sounding announcers on those urban radio stations. Know what I mean?
Me: Nonthreatening? But... I'm a guy. What if I want to sound threatening?
(In hindsight, sounding a little whiny when I said that didn't really help my cause.)
Mrs C: What I mean is, your voice is nondistinct so I guess it can appeal any audience.
Me: You're saying my voice is racially ambiguous?
Mrs C: Sorta. Like those morning talkshow hosts that discuss current events.
Me: The way you say makes me feel like you think you're complimenting me but...
Mrs C: I don't know what to say...
Me: Say I sound tough and manly, dammit!
Mrs C: ...
Me: Nothing?
Mrs C: Sorry.

Friday, May 11, 2018

Let's Just Stop & Think About This!

I'm not sure when or how but I've become... an over-thinker.

The level of worry I invest into every little decision is astounding. Whenever I have a choice to make, nowadays, it feels like I can't move without weighing ALL the options and choosing only the best possible one. Even when I do decide I still don't make a move because I get hung up second-guessing that decision until the last minute.

This is proving especially troublesome where my schoolwork is concerned. Right now I have three courses left until I graduate and they're all filled with "choose your own topic" or "you decide on the angle of approach" (or both) types of assignments. It's safe to say I'm a little stressed right now.
In fact, I'm not proud to admit that I'm writing this post instead of doing one of those assignments because I just don't want to face it.

How did this happen? I mean, I guess there were always signs of this being a problem in the past but  always did a good job keeping it in check.... I think... While, I've always been a planner and hella methodical when it mattered, at other times I considered myself an easy-going kind of guy. The kind who'd just go with the flow and make decisions on the fly. It's not to say I used to be reckless or anything. Quite the opposite. Now, though, it's like I traded all that for paralyzing indecision and self-doubt.

It's not fun..

I'll stop boring you any further this right here. As much as I'd like to delve deeper into this, I don't have the time right now. That aforementioned assignment isn't going to write itself after all.