Maybe We'll Move To Japan Instead.

We're having a tiny snag in our moving plans. Our soon to be new landlord has decided to pressure us for an early payment prior to our moving in so he can do renovations. This was not what we initially agreed but he's decided to play hardball. He's hinting at giving us what we paid him so far to secure the apartment and canceling the entire deal if we don't come up with the extra funds. This is a problem. We've already notified our current landlord of our intention to move out next week when this month's rental period expires.

Then we went to look at some more places and found the most perfect apartment. It's a new building with all the amenities. Plus, it's $500. (TT) cheaper than we pay now. But the best thing is the view. OMIGOSH, the view! I wish I could have taken a picture to show you guys. I could sit in the front porch all day and never go inside. That, unfortunately, presents the only problem. The amazing view is because the apartment is nestled in the hills of an area called St. James which is locally famous for horrendous traffic on the main road (strike one). The apartment building is on the same street Mrs. C used to live on when we were dating but much, MUCH further in and really hard to get in and out of (strike two). Then there are the steps leading from the street to the apartment. We estimate that they are at least twice that of her former home down the road.

It's a lot.

Again, not the actual steps, but close enough.

We were both literally gasping for breath by the time we got up to the top. There's no way Evie, Mrs. C's grandma, could handle that. (strike three).

In the end, we had to pass it up (WHYYYYYYYY!!!).

So, the choices we're faced with is trying to find the additional cash the current landlord-to-be is clamoring for, asking the current landlord to extend our stay another month, or trying to find yet another place by next Tuesday. Not good.

On the brighter side of things I've got another story for you all over at Sprocket Ink.

Yes, it is about Japan again. I know, but that country is a never-ending source of weirdness. But in a good way. Go check out the story if you don't believe me. It's got-um-employees in the sex industry assisting budding dentistry students. How about that?

First Fired, Then Promoted, Now...

Redundant?

At least, that’s the gist of what I was told this Monday. According to Bossman there’s no need for the position they were training me for. Please note, no actual training ever took place during the past two months (Except for the training I gave my replacement, of course). Opportunities to use me in the capacity he envisioned just weren’t materializing as quickly as expected. So, essentially, I finish out this month and proceed with my previously scheduled firing from two months ago.

“Unless something happens to pop up,” he said.

What the hell kind of bullshit is that!?! I’ll say this much: Once I leave, there’s no way in hell I’m going back. Thanks for the free coffee, asshole! Sayonara! On a side note, if you haven’t read my article at Sprocket Ink from yesterday, he inspired it. Go see.

Anyway, it seems like I’m going to have me a little free time next week so I’ve started compiling a list of activities to keep myself occupied while I seek new employment.

- Gaming: In an effort to be more focused during a grueling semester, I disabled my World of Warcraft account.

I know! Crazy, right?

Well considering the financial hit we just took I consider it prudent to leave it as is for the time being *sobs*. I’ll have to settle for other options like...

Regaining the gold trophy I earned in Plants Vs. Zombies – I accidentally deleted my profile when my old netbook died. This has been a source of great irritation to me. Up till now, I haven’t had the time to start over.

Get those last two golden eggs in my PC version of Angry Birds. Getting all three stars in those the levels is HARD

If nothing else, I can see what the replay value really is on the titles I have stacked aside.

- Heavy alcohol consumption (along with, but not limited to): Crying, breaking things, feelings of reduced self-worth and self-confidence, binge eating, more crying, etc.

Nah! Just kidding on this one.

Sorta.

- Blogging and blog reading: There are a ton of blogs I follow but I must admit to being a very crappy follower. There just never seems to be enough time to read them all and even comment on all the ones I do read. I guess, for now at least, I’ll be able to catch up.

- Books: My library card has been feel ing a little neglected of late. Time to rectify that.

- Movies: I have a stack of them that I’ve been getting around to. Is that Vince Vaughn/Kevin James movie any good?

- Fixing the leaky kitchen faucet: Okay, really! It’s been months! How hard is it to change a washer? I know there are others like myself who know all too well the inherent dangers of DIY projects but really! Wish me luck on this one.

- Finding another job: That one’s important. Gotta remember to do that one.

In truth, most of these will only keep me occupied until the end of next week. I’ll have to play it by ear from there.

That is unless one of you guy have something for me to do.

No, really! Skills include witty comments and ability to laugh at self. Throw me a bone here, guys.

Guys..?

A Whole Lot of Rambling & Doubt - You Were Warned.

I’m not in the best of moods today.

It isn’t because I’m coming down with the cold. I got caught in some rain yesterday morning and, for some reason, my normally resilient system descended down a stuffy, sniffley, congested slope.

Neither is it due to only getting four hours of sleep last night and then having to deal with a ridiculously heavy workload today. I’ve dealt with this by pushing the stack of paperwork aside to compose this post.

Normally, looking at the morning’s headlines and seeing that it isn't rife with criminal activity but, instead highlighted the spirited political debate among the jackholes respected officials who make up the nation’s leaders and opposition about a matter of national urgency. Was it our subpar health care system? Noooo. How to address the spiraling crime rate, perhaps? Nope! No sir. Apparently a grand piano went missing. HOLY SHIT!!! Why haven’t they called a state of emergency yet?! I mean, a missing piano? This is big! Fuck the ridiculous murder rate! Pianos are going missing, people! We may need to petition the UN for international assistance on this one. Oh, and item number two for debate involved a minister damaging a state owned vehicle. Major stuff going on…

But, no, none of these are the cause of my unease.

Truth is there are some big goings-on in the C. household. We may be on the road to acquiring our own house. Mrs. C’s already seen the place and is ecstatic (I’m going to have my first look this Saturday). She is also really nervous. We’ve talked about buying a house for a long time but conditions were never right before. Now that we’re actually this close she’s having a hard time wrapping her mind around being a homeowner. It's such a grown up move! As a result she suffered a bout of insomnia last night - which, in turn caused me the aforementioned the sleep deprivation.

What has me uncomfortable is the speed at which this whole thing seems to be falling into place.

First off, this entire house opportunity only fell into our laps this Monday. Mrs. C was out completing some errands before she want to work when she met an old friend from her days as a legal secretary. This old friend was involved in the development on a new housing project and, since he always had a crush on her they were such good friends, he’d give us a chance to check it out. We did (or rather, she did), thoroughly. Turns out it’s legit. A senior manager from another branch of the same company she currently works for had just taken possession of one of the finished buildings. All this aside, for the last three days - especially yesterday when dollar signs were finally brought into the equation - things have been pretty hectic.

In our relationship, I'm the tortoise and she's the hare. But we don't work against each other because of it. In fact, our conflicting personalities serve to normally balance each other out. When I'm playing it too cool and cautious she's there to gives me the kick in the ass I need to take the next step. Likewise, when she's moving at warp ten, I'm there to put on the brakes to avoid any crashing into brick walls.

It works.

My cautious personality means I also hate loose ends. I don't need to have all the bases covered but I feel a bit more comfortable with some wiggle room, an airbag, an escape route. The "Oh, for the love of Pete, somebody show me where the blasted exits are already!!!" type. There hasn't been much opportunity to apply brakes in this matter. Time is a critical factor as there are only three or four houses left. The pace is giving me whiplash.

Truth be told, we've gone over the options. We know we wanted to move but that was to save on cost. This brings up another concern. We'll actually be paying more per month than we're paying now. Sacrifices will have to be made. Corners will have to be cut. But, all-in-all, nothing we can't work with. We'd have to adjust to it. I guess I'm being a baby about having to cut out some creature comforts.

I realize that it may just be my cautious nature screaming for some sort of reassurance that this won't all blow up in our faces and (goshthatwalliscomingupmightyfast!), maybe, this could actually be the right step. For now, I just don't know.

I just realized how long this ramble's been going on and I think I'll stop boring you for now (assuming you're still with me, have a drink cookie on me).

Thanks for the patient ear-um-eye.

Fighting Temptation

This morning:

Me: Hey, lemme handle the groceries myself. I got a million things to do today and I'll get this done faster on my own.
Mrs C: You sure?
Me: Yeah, no problem.
Mrs. C: Alright, let's do up a list.

We sit down and quickly prepare a list of the items needed.

Mrs. C: Now, we're on a budget so be sure to stick to the list.
Me: Yeah, yeah, yeah...
Mrs. C: I mean it. Stick.to.the.list.
Me: Relax. I'm on it.
Mrs. C: 'K, thanks.

So I head out. I breeze through the produce market - even saved some money with some smart shopping. Then it's off to the supermarket to finish up. I cruise through the lanes, grabbing the necessary items and feeling proud for maintaining such strict discipline in adhering to the oh so sacred list.
Then, while in the freezer section the following inner dialogue begins:

Inner Vinny: Dude. Dude! Hot Pockets! When was the last time we had those.
Me: It's been a while, hasn't it? Too bad we're on a budget.
Inner Vinny: C'mon! It's just this one thing. Oooh, look! They have Ham and Cheese. We love Ham and Cheese! Meatball and Mozzarella's good too. Ooooooh, we've never had the Chicken Melt and Bacon. We could totally...
Me: STOP IT!!! You heard her, we're on a budget. We're sticking to this list!
Inner Vinny: But... Hot Pockets...
Me: No!

I continue to get the stuff on the list, "...detergent, hand soap..."
"Hot Pockets!"
"No! Quiet!"
"Whimper."
Just then the phone rings with the ringtone I set for my wife.

Me: Yo
Mrs. C: Hey.
Me: 'Sup?
Mrs. C: How're things going?
Me: Good. Almost done. Stickin' to the budget.
Mrs. C: 'K. That's good. Anyhow, listen, I need you to pick up a few more things. I think I'll have salad for lunch a few times this week.
Me: Salad?
Mrs. C: Don't worry. It's just for me. I know you don't like salads. Pick up some black olives, cucumbers and lettuce too.
Me: Black olives? Aren't those a bit more expensive? What about the budget? Remember?
Mrs. C: (Cutesy voice) I knoooow. But I like black olives better.
Me: Well...
Mrs. C: 'K, thanks. Bye. Luv ya.
Me: Uhhhh, yeah... You too.

Call ends.

Me: ...
Inner Vinny: I want the Chicken Melt and Bacon.
Me: 'K.