Wednesday, January 5, 2011

The Vinny Show

I've noticed a long time ago that I never seem to run out of awkward and/or crazy situations. Maybe it's just my way of interpreting those situations. Maybe I'm surrounded by crazy people...


Maybe my life is actually just a sitcom that the rest of the world is watching and I'm the only one that isn't aware.

I don't really know. What I do know is that situations constantly arise which make me question my sanity or the sanity of those around me. Take the other morning for instance:

Boss Lady (aka wife of Boss Man) comes out of her dingbat cave:
Boss Lady: I need a man!
Me: (Good luck on that).
Boss Lady: Vinny! Good, you're here. I need a male to check the mens' room and see if the urinal still leaking. Do you know if it is?
Me: I don't know. Probably.
Boss Lady: Well, could you check the mens room urinal? The plumber came by yesterday and fixed the leak. I want to make sure he did a good job.

I check. It isn't leaking. I go back and confirm this with her.

Boss Lady: Good...

Then sanity briefly leaves the room...

Boss Lady: Did you use the bathroom today?

Me: Um... No...
Boss Lady: Did you use it yesterday?
Me: (I... I... I-I don't know! I didn't know there'd be a quiz. I wasn't paying attention. No one told me I had to take notes!) I don't remember.
Boss Lady: Okay.
She returns to the dingbat cave.

See? This is what I mean. I didn't even exaggerate any of this. Stuff like this always seems to happen to me. Whatever the case, it provides me with plenty of fodder for blogging.

By the way, do you think I have a case for a sexual harassment suit?


Oh! In today's episode: Results came in and, apparently, I passed last semester's courses. (Woohoo!) I was a bit iffy on one of them but I scraped by.


  1. Definately a case there....definately.

    And YAY for passing your classes!!

  2. A thin line there, now if she asked what action you performed in the bathroom then you have a case.

    Congrats on your grades and who said you can't work, go to school, read comics, play WoW and entertain/serve the wife.

  3. I don't understand why you're not documenting the dates, times, and duration of your bathroom excursions anyway. That's what I do. Just in case.

    Congrats on passing your courses. Somehow, I had faith that you would.

  4. First off, congrats on passing those courses, I know how it goes. And secondly I'mnotsupposedtotellyoubutyourlifeisasitcom

    I hope they don't shut my blog down.

  5. Yay on passing...but not that shocking really. You did just attest to being a geek on your last post and geeks pass their classes. That's one of the reasons they are so awesome!

    On the restroom situation:
    Bathroom tweets should solve the memory issue you seem to be having.

    Clearly Boss Lady is concerned for your health. Don't be surprised if she soon requires you to report one what number it was (one or two) and if it is the latter...a brief description. I mean, haven't you heard about the What Color is Your Poop? trend that's taken America by storm?

    I will expect a full report tomorrow, 2 pages, single-spaced please.

  6. i'm surprised she didn't tell you that a healthy poop is shaped like an S. at least that's what some doc on oprah said.

  7. This is weird. It's like some sort of cougar double-speak or maybe there's a hidden camera somewhere? *shudder*

  8. Definitely yes on the sexual harassment. Have you told boss man that the boss lady needs a man and has enquired about your golden showers? Not sure its a good idea... Ask HR.

  9. This is where the headphones really come in handy...

  10. The dingbat stating that she needs a man could be construed as harassing. Asking if you used the bathroom seems a bit odd as well. Put them both together and that sounds like some effed up shizz.

    Congratulations on passing your classes. Job well done!

  11. @ All: Thanks for all the awesome congratulatory comments. This new semester promises to be interesting (only core IT subjects). I'm not letting my guard down, though.

    That being said:

    @ Sugar Free: Good. Now that I have that confirmed I'll proceed with phase two. I'll need a voice recorder, camera shaped like a pen and to schedule a day where I conveniently need to "work late". I'LL BE RICH!!!

    @ Nubian: And still find time for Japanese cartoons with giant robots, guys with swords or giant robots with swords. Don't forget that.

    @ Di-Pi: I gotcha. Better to have it & not need it than need it and not have it, right? Good thinking. I'll start a personal log (no pun intended).

    @ paulsifer: That explains the hidden camera that fell out when I was fixing the shower head. And how the landlord conveniently happened by a few seconds later... with the "plumber".

    @ Nari: Right, I'll get on that after my coffee... I know Times New Roman is the standard but I'm partial to Verdana. Is that okay?

    @ pattypunker: What does he say about if it's shaped like a slinky? Not that I have any reason for asking. Just curious... really.

    @ dbs: I'm beginning to be convinced that it may actually be both.

    @ Miss Nikki: She, her husband & her aunt ARE HR! It's a really small company.

    @ Meri: That would work with most people but they don't make volume settings high enough to compete her "normal" speaking volume.

    @ The Empress: The weird part is both her & her husband's offices are side by side... And he said nothing... Makes me wonder what they're both into.

  12. You DO know she was going to ask you if you took pictures next, right?


  13. You should have taken the opportunity to request little targets to float in the urinals. A little relaxation never hurt anybody.

  14. you need one of those voice/pee activated recorder thingys....note to self....

  15. COngrats on passing!

    Favicon looks nice.

    Boss Lady sounds like a looney bin.


Go ahead, say it! You know you want to: