Tuesday, April 27, 2021

New Beginnings.

I mentioned a while back about a big change that was coming in my life that was not only life-altering but also adding to my feelings of being overwhelmed and stuck-in-place. Well, I won't bury the lede anymore. The thing is... I'm getting divorced.


After almost 25 years of being a "we" we're each going back to being first-person singular, at least when it comes to each other. I won't go into too much detail about how it went down, other than saying it wasn't any one, big thing that caused it. It was just the culmination of a lot of little things (and maybe a few medium-sized ones) being experienced by both sides that reached the point where it finally couldn't be ignored anymore and almost two years ago, Mrs C (or, as it stands the Soon-to-be-Ex-Mrs C) decided she had had enough and I had to fact the grim reality that I couldn't find a reason to disagree.

Why two years? Well, here, in Trinidad & Tobago, you don't just decide you don't want to be married anymore, run down to your nearest divorce attorney, sign some papers and - BAM - your marriage has ended (I'm assuming it works like that in some parts of the world but I could be wrong). Here, the law requires a two-year wait between deciding you want a divorce and actually being able to file for it so the nice lawyer lady still has to wait another two months to take the paperwork to the courts. Another few months after that (they still give you time to change your mind) it becomes official... and then I guess I can remove that awkward "soon-to-be" prefix.

Even after almost two years our minds are made up. Still, knowing for so long that it's coming, this isn't easy to talk about. I only just started telling some people about it at the beginning of this year, after we went to the lawyer to start preparing the process.

If anyone remembers, the soon-to-be was a source of a lot of my posts. We haven't talked about it but I took the decision to remove those posts - the ones where she had most of the focus, anyway - and after this post I more-than-likely won't be telling any stories about our interactions anytime in the foreseeable future (definitely not without her okay, anyway).We're amicable, for the most part, but I'm not taking any chances.

I titled this post "New Beginnings" because while the divorce signifies the a very sad end of a quarter-century history, it also signifies a new start for the both of us and maybe a chance to find the futures we couldn't find with each other. That's what I'm choosing to focus on instead of what-could-have-been.