Greetings! And a special "hello" and "welcome" to my new followers I picked up in the last few days. I see you over there.
I'm trying to be more consistent with my RTT's. So not even this monster cold is going to stop me, dammit! Ow! Even yelling and shaking my fist at the sky hurts...
Of course, shout out to Keely, the Un Mom for making Random Tuesday Thoughts possible.
- I ran out of non-drowsy cold meds today so I’m forced to take the ones chocked-full of lovely sedatives. To compensate and keep my head from falling to my desk with a loud “THUD!!!”, I’m on a coffee binge. Currently, I’m on my third cup in the last two hours. My head is still banging on the desk but now I just bang it again a few more times real fast for good measure.
Next step is to run an coffee IV drip.
- Okay, that’s it! I’ve officially decided to stop complaining about my cold…
After this…
You know that cartoon where the guy is run over by a bus full of tourists so fat their stomachs are bulging out the windows… and the bus then proceeds to back over him and drive forward over him again and then the process is repeated again… and again… and again… then the bus driver comes out and blasts the guy on the ground with a flamethrower for a few seconds? Remember that one? That would feel so great right about now. I sneeze so hard, my rib cage is like, “DUDE!!! What the hell?!”
- That’s it. My last bitch about this cold. Most likely because if it gets any worse I’ll either spontaneously combust or succumb to it and emerge a full fledged zombie. Then my next post will sound like, “RAWRR!!! Me eat Boss Lady brains today. It taste like coo-coo bird.”
- Mrs. C watches Nigerian movies from time to time. They've started to grow in popularity here in recent years. They're not my thing but, this weekend, she asked me to watch one with her.
Holy.crap!
Have you ever watched one of these?! It was watching a school play. Yes, that bad. For the first half hour I had to keep asking what the hell was going on. I ended up sliding off the sofa when she let her guard down and crawling away soldier-style just to escape.
- Brief dialogue with Boss Man last week, just before the start of an overseas, online conference meeting with one of the company’s suppliers:
Boss Man: Okay, this is the first time we’re doing this online. Vinny, you’re the IT student, the instructions are on this email. Let’s see what you got.
Me: (Looking at email) Oh, it’s easy. All you have to do is type in this URL and you’re all set.
Boss Man: Wait, wait, wait! Slow down, Mr. IT student! First, what is a URL?
Me: (Falls off chair.)
I love how you escaped. That is awesome. I have had to do that before in my house. You would think I am now a Navy Seal with my stealth escapes.
ReplyDeleteLOL! Nice escape plan! And really, is your boss that challenged? Well, it will certainly make you look like a hero - even with the cold! Hope you feel better!
ReplyDeleteOh, Vinny you poor thing. I hope you feel better soon. I am waiting patiently to read a face-plant post from you....
ReplyDeleteVinny, you are my hero! Soldier crawl escapes, implicit knowledge of URL's, plus your determination not to excessively complain about your cold.
ReplyDeleteWow...just WOW.
Feel better soon.
HAHAH i love old people. or extremely computer challenged ppl because i cant just assume the boss man is old, anyway, i love them because they make me feel smart. I mean i cant figure out how to insert peoples blog buttons on my blog page BUT i do know what a URL is... see i feel all smart and shit now. thanks vinny!
ReplyDelete@ Oilfield Trash: Effective escape strategies are essential for all husbands to know, really.
ReplyDelete@ The Crazy Coxes: Yeah, but it has his drawbacks. Now he keeps calling me "Mr. IT Student".
@ Sugar Free: Don't worry. I said I'd deliver & I will. Just got a bit distracted. You know, with sneezes that make me curl into a fetal position & all.
@ Nari: I am quite amazing, aren't I?
@ Constar: Yes, you're right he is old. Apparently not so old that he can't flirt with Really-Really-Hot-Sales-Girl & Really-Really-Hot-Accounts-Girl when Boss Lady isn't around, though.
Third cup of coffee?
ReplyDeleteAmateur.
Talk to me when you're on your third POT of the day.
Of course, if you do talk to me, I probably won't be able to understand you because of the caffeine seizure that will be stopping my heart. But I can make my peace with that.
Sorry to hear you're sick, by the way. Maybe less coffee and more alcohol to burn those germs off.
You truly are and I have given you a Comment award to prove it.
ReplyDeleteOh no... I wish you good drugs and better health, m'dear. Please don't sneeze out any brains or lungs or anything. Those are VERY messy to clean up.
ReplyDeleteHAHA. *cough* Lol *cough*.cough.cough.COUGH. I just coughed up a lung, you still want it?
ReplyDeleteP.S. Your complaining makes me feel less like a wimp. Cough. Feel better soon!
I'm sorry guy, colds suck. I too have an issue with my wife liking idiotic movies, but hers are the Amanda Bynes flavor, ugh, if I could only master your army crawl.
ReplyDeleteSorry you're suffering from a cold, too! I was nodding emphatically in agreement and empathy about running out of the non-drowsy cold medicine and having your head hit the desk...in rapid fire after coffee. Of course that just exacerbated my sinus headache. But I was still laughing. With you, not at you. Honest.
ReplyDeleteAt least you go into stealth mode and slip away unnoticed when your wife makes you watch something that doesn't interest you. My hubby falls asleep and snores loudly. Think you can give him some pointers? ;)
RTT: Ice Snow and Head Colds
Oh this is way too funny - speaking of our heads hitting the desks - my word verification is splatt!! No lie! :) OK, I'm done now - hope you feel better soon! :)
That is great! LOL
ReplyDeleteI'm going to have to perfect that army crawl move for when my boyfriend is watching some horrid PBS special and wondering why I'm not paying attention...
ReplyDeleteI need visuals. When you crawl away from the couch (I was so tempted to say "sofa", I can never get rid of the canadian in me, sheesh) I wonder if you wanted to pull a Ben Stiller in Tropic Thunder when he does his soldier maneuvers... That'd be cool. You know what else would be cool? To see Mrs C's reaction to your soldier like bravado (whimper) escape from lame ass movies. Is she on meds when she watches these movies?
ReplyDeleteI'm addicted to random posts. Maybe I'm on meds now? Maybe I should be.
Holy crap I just fell off my chair, too. That's almost as cute as when my mom asked what youtube was. "Is that Bono's band?" God she's adorable.
ReplyDelete@ Di-Pi: You're right. I'm a lightweight. I think by the end of the day I made it to about pot & a half. And, yes, alcohol was a better idea.
ReplyDelete@ Nari: Sweet, thanks.
@ Nenette: Tell me about it! You don't want to get me started on the gray-matter cleanups I have had to endure. We'll assume you mean "drugs" of the pharmaceutical variety.
@ A&G: Glad I could make you feel better... I think.
I'll email you about delivery instructions for the lung.
@ paulsifer: It takes a little practice, but with the right motivation (Amanda Bynes being a good example) you can pick it up in no time.
@ Stacy: Points to hubbs for using the annoyance factor.
I'm almost certain that this is proof I need that the word verification is trying to communicate to us through our blogs.
@ Kimber: Yes, it's true. I know that I've made my pain into everyone's reading pleasure.
@ Meri: While I empathize with you, I'm glad to learn that it isn't only the guys being forced to take such extreme measures.
@ Miss Nikki: I was tempted to throw the Stiller move in but resisted. As for Mrs. C's reaction, I submit her bursting into laughter as an admission of defeat.
@ Elly Lou: Moms are adorable in such cases. Bosses, not so much.
If you do succumb, I think you'd be best to start with Boss Man's brains. Do humanity a favor.
ReplyDeletei just vowed to stop complaining about my sacroiliac joint injury on my blog cuz i figured people were getting sick, tired and bored to tears hearing about it. so thank you for this opening ... it really still hurts and has me in a mental tailspin. i can't stop thinking about how nice it would be to not have pain anymore and to be able to work out or play tennis without aggravating it.
ReplyDeletehope you feel better! you can complain to us as often you like.
@ Nicole: Check! Devour old man's brains first.
ReplyDelete@ pattypunker: Feel free to cry on my shoulder anytime. I actually looked up your injury after I first read about it & I understand why you feel the need to complain. Hope you get it sorted out too.