A Whole Lot of Rambling & Doubt - You Were Warned.

I’m not in the best of moods today.

It isn’t because I’m coming down with the cold. I got caught in some rain yesterday morning and, for some reason, my normally resilient system descended down a stuffy, sniffley, congested slope.

Neither is it due to only getting four hours of sleep last night and then having to deal with a ridiculously heavy workload today. I’ve dealt with this by pushing the stack of paperwork aside to compose this post.

Normally, looking at the morning’s headlines and seeing that it isn't rife with criminal activity but, instead highlighted the spirited political debate among the jackholes respected officials who make up the nation’s leaders and opposition about a matter of national urgency. Was it our subpar health care system? Noooo. How to address the spiraling crime rate, perhaps? Nope! No sir. Apparently a grand piano went missing. HOLY SHIT!!! Why haven’t they called a state of emergency yet?! I mean, a missing piano? This is big! Fuck the ridiculous murder rate! Pianos are going missing, people! We may need to petition the UN for international assistance on this one. Oh, and item number two for debate involved a minister damaging a state owned vehicle. Major stuff going on…

But, no, none of these are the cause of my unease.

Truth is there are some big goings-on in the C. household. We may be on the road to acquiring our own house. Mrs. C’s already seen the place and is ecstatic (I’m going to have my first look this Saturday). She is also really nervous. We’ve talked about buying a house for a long time but conditions were never right before. Now that we’re actually this close she’s having a hard time wrapping her mind around being a homeowner. It's such a grown up move! As a result she suffered a bout of insomnia last night - which, in turn caused me the aforementioned the sleep deprivation.

What has me uncomfortable is the speed at which this whole thing seems to be falling into place.

First off, this entire house opportunity only fell into our laps this Monday. Mrs. C was out completing some errands before she want to work when she met an old friend from her days as a legal secretary. This old friend was involved in the development on a new housing project and, since he always had a crush on her they were such good friends, he’d give us a chance to check it out. We did (or rather, she did), thoroughly. Turns out it’s legit. A senior manager from another branch of the same company she currently works for had just taken possession of one of the finished buildings. All this aside, for the last three days - especially yesterday when dollar signs were finally brought into the equation - things have been pretty hectic.

In our relationship, I'm the tortoise and she's the hare. But we don't work against each other because of it. In fact, our conflicting personalities serve to normally balance each other out. When I'm playing it too cool and cautious she's there to gives me the kick in the ass I need to take the next step. Likewise, when she's moving at warp ten, I'm there to put on the brakes to avoid any crashing into brick walls.

It works.

My cautious personality means I also hate loose ends. I don't need to have all the bases covered but I feel a bit more comfortable with some wiggle room, an airbag, an escape route. The "Oh, for the love of Pete, somebody show me where the blasted exits are already!!!" type. There hasn't been much opportunity to apply brakes in this matter. Time is a critical factor as there are only three or four houses left. The pace is giving me whiplash.

Truth be told, we've gone over the options. We know we wanted to move but that was to save on cost. This brings up another concern. We'll actually be paying more per month than we're paying now. Sacrifices will have to be made. Corners will have to be cut. But, all-in-all, nothing we can't work with. We'd have to adjust to it. I guess I'm being a baby about having to cut out some creature comforts.

I realize that it may just be my cautious nature screaming for some sort of reassurance that this won't all blow up in our faces and (goshthatwalliscomingupmightyfast!), maybe, this could actually be the right step. For now, I just don't know.

I just realized how long this ramble's been going on and I think I'll stop boring you for now (assuming you're still with me, have a drink cookie on me).

Thanks for the patient ear-um-eye.