Smells Like Monkeys In Here.

As I mentioned the other day, I was sick. I'm mostly better now (not factoring-in the residual mucus.. Sorry). I also mentioned something about hipster monkeys in that post too (I don't know... I think my brain was overheating or something).

No, wait! There was a point to the monkeys! The monkeys had meaning. They were a symbol to represent my writing (I submit my entire blogging history as "Exhibit A") or, at least, my return to writing. See? Makes more sense now, right?

Know what? Forget the monkeys! You can't expect to understand what's going on when there are monkeys in the room. That just never works out. What I mean by all this is, I think getting sick made me figure out why I haven't felt motivated to write these days.

You know when people say "life happened" and I couldn't keep up with this or that anymore? That's exactly right! And it's not always because you're so busy. That can happen but that wasn't the case for me. For me, I got stuck in a rut. Between bills, night school, boring office job, etc. I subconsciously began to wall myself off so as not to feel overwhelmed by what felt like the sheer meaningless in my existence. The problem with that was I made myself literally numb to everything going on around me. It's really hard to be creative when you go about your everyday routine just letting everything bounce off you and letting nothing stick. Know what I mean?

Now that I realized that, I think I can keep myself from falling into that trap again. Or not. I get distracted easily.

Speaking of distracted, I got my sense of smell back!

(Yeah, complete and abrupt change of topic. No warning. No clever segueing. Nothing! Blame the monkeys.)

While the cold helped me regain my sense of blogginess (I think), I lost my sense of smell. That was new. I've never had anything like that happen over a cold - or any other reason - before. At first, I was a little worried that it was going to be permanent (and possibly the lamest superhero origin story ever) but Dr. Google assured me it would be alright. Actually, it seemed this wasn't not all that uncommon when you got a cold so I just had to wait it out. Sure, everything I ate tasted bland without a functioning olfactory sense but, on the plus side, I kind of liked being able to walk through the city and not be suddenly have my nose bombarded with scent human waste (sorry again) - usually strategically scattered throughout the city by members of our homeless community.

That being said, I am now of the opinion that the tongue is woefully undeserving of its position as the representative of taste. All that guy can basically do is tell what's sweet, sour, bitter and salty. Without your olfactory sense, you might as well just give up on life enjoying your food.

At first, my sense of smell came back in bits and pieces. The first time I noticed anything had a scent was one day, when I was returning from lunch about two days into it. A coworker was waiting to get on the elevator and the scent of her coffee hit my olfactory senses hard. The best way I can describe it was like being colorblind and suddenly seeing a woman in a red dress move across the room. And the fact that it was coffee that ended up being the first thing I could smell in two days turned that woman in a red dress into a curvy bikini model in a skimpy, red two-piece.

Of course I meant a Japanese bikini model!

I really love coffee.

After that, it was gone again until something else got through. Fortunately, none of it was poop. After about five or six days, I'm happy to report that things are back to normal and coffee tastes great once again.

Vinny Unplugged.

For those of you who have been wondering why things have been so quite around here the past few days, I've was forcibly removed from the Matrix again. That's right! Our internet was down... AGAIN! This time, it was completely gone for FIVE WHOLE DAYS!!! Don't ask me how I survived. I don't know either. At first, I did take it the same way I always do...

Eventually, though, I snapped out of it. I decided to busy myself with other things. I'm a trooper like that.

Hey! Did you guys know there are other uses for a computer besides surfing the web? I know it sounds crazy, but stay with me on this. Among other things, I actually played games and music on it. It's like a giant cellphone!

I even went outside a few times. And not because I had to. It was just for the heck of it. I know! Crazy, right? I like to take chances every now and then. By the way, has anyone else noticed there's this giant ball of fire in the sky?

Between you and me, I don't think it comes in peace.

But my internet returned and I'm back! And I'm making up for lost time with a brand spankin' new post over at Sprocket Ink. Today, we're talking about one of my favorite topics: Coffee!

Awesome mug courtesy of Nubian. Being put to good use, as you can see.

The results on a new study on how the magic bean can help protect us from the fiery overlord looming overhead have been released and I couldn't wait to share the good news. So, as always, just click here and enjoy. In fact, go make a cup of coffee to sip while you read. You'll thank me later.

Maybe I'm Not A Writer.

Maybe I'm not a writer. Maybe my words won't go down in history somewhere, or be quoted, or even published anywhere outside the blogosphere. Maybe the best I can hope for is just to be retweeted every now and again. Maybe I'm not as good as I like to think I am sometimes.

Maybe I'll never write a book. I admit, the thought of even starting one daunts me. I wouldn't even know where to start. What would I write about anyway? Maybe the countless stories that float around in my head are doomed to remain locked up in there, never to see the light of day. Then again... maybe that's for the best.

Maybe blogging won't make me rich and famous one day. Maybe it will never be more than a hobby. A way for me to express myself in ways I could never truly articulate in the real world. A way to come out of that shell I've developed over the years and interact with people I share such a  strong connection with, I've somehow grown to consider so many these people - people I've never met in real life - "friends".

But so what? I never set out to be or do any of those things. When I first started all this, it wasn't to become famous. I never had dreams of having hundreds or thousands of followers. But I'm glad for every one I do have. I was a goof. A guy who used humor to hide his insecurities. One who declared his love for coffee, breasts and video games without fear of being judged. One who read and commented on other blogs, not so that people would notice me and follow me home, but because I enjoyed them. Maybe I'm still that guy. Yeah! I'm definitely still that guy.

So maybe I'm not really a writer. Or maybe I am. I'm not the one to judge that for now. Maybe all I am is just goof who can string a few sentences together and hopefully make someone other than myself smile. Even if it's just a little smile. But you know what? Maybe I'm okay with that. Maybe that's all I need to be right now.

My Real Friends.

Yes, I do have a new post over at Sprocket Ink today. But there's something else I have to say before I send you over.

Ever since I've started blogging, I've witnessed another side of people that I rarely see displayed in the RL. Bloggers have a way of forming connections with each other that bridge even the furthest distances. I've seen people form real friendships with people they've never met face to face and, no, that isn't pathetic.

Despite what someone who isn't a part of this world may think, bloggers aren't just geeks hiding from the real world in front of their computers. Almost all of the bloggers I've met since I first started are real people with real lives, most of whom have done way cooler things than I ever have. Only they're not afraid to share their lives and innermost thoughts with others.

Because of all of the talent and sheer awesomeness I come across every time I open my reader, it's safe to say that you guys intimidate me. I mean that. I'm proud to call myself a blogger.

Why am I gushing on and on like this? Well it's because that blogging kindness I just mentioned has struck again. Only this time, a lot closer to home.

When I first started blogging, one of the first people to hit the "Follow" button was a blogger called Nubian. Since then, she has always been there with a witty comment or an encouraging email. You could say, she's been one of my primary enablers.

Well, it seems she's taken it a step further because on day she sent me a message asking for my address. I knew what was coming after that.

I'll be honest. I try to avoid letting people send me stuff since I live all the way in the Caribbean and I don't want to put anyone through that expense. But, she wanted to send me a Christmas gift and I know her well enough to know that I couldn't refuse.

After some logistical issues with the post office (Read as: They gave the term "snail mail" new meaning) which, in turn, almost made her go postal on the postal workers, Nubian's gift finally arrived today (I guess by postal service standards, January 17 is close enough to Christmas).

Anyway... Behold! The package!

FYI, Not the first time I've said that. Even though it was under different circumstances then.

And here's what came inside.

I know! Awesome, right?!

This is for Mrs. C and her grandma, Evie.

But the rest... MINE!!! ALL MINE! BWAHAHAHAHA!!!

Ahem...

First, we have this:

Yes, KA-POW! It's like a chocolate bar only, not. They don't waste time with weak-assed chocolate in this stuff. What we're talkin' here is pure coffee, baby!

And next: I always said I wanted a bigger coffee mug. Now I've got one.

This baby's only available in London. SWEET!

As you can see, despite battling two different postal services and customs, it arrived unharmed. That's a Christmas by itself is a miracle if there ever was one.

Of course, to go with my new mug, I have some new coffee.

They make a cute couple. Don't you agree?

I'd have some now, but I've already had a block of the Ka-pow! and think the combination might make my head explode. It's that potent.

Last, but certainly nowhere near least is this lovely little card.

I won't share too much of what's inside. Let's just say, we accept your offer and can be all packed in an hour. *wink*

So, I'll say thanks once again to you, Nubian. You're more than just a longtime follower in my book. You're a real friend.

Okay... *sniffles* You guys go to Sprocket now before I hug someone.

[UPDATE: I've just been handed new information (new to me, that is) that Nubian's blog is no longer private. As such a link has been added. Carry on.]

Oh, For the Love Of Coffee!

Yes, this one is new.
[UPDATE: I switched it out. Put up the unfinished one by mistake.]

I'm sure you're all well aware of my obsession affection for the quirky and lovable nation of Japan. But, think back. There is one thing that I do love more that. In fact, this one thing the top spot in my heart-next to my lovely wife, of course!

Hi, sweetness! (*whispers* - She may be reading this. *wink*)

But, I digress. Of course, we're talking about coffee, java, the cup o' joe, the sweet, sweet nectar from those wonderful magic beans.

So... beautiful...
source

Why do I bring this up? Because it's the subject of my post on Sprocket Ink today, that's why.

It's some great news for coffee drinkers-nay- coffee lovers everywhere. News so wonderful you'll feel like cheering, like celebrating, like lifting a toast (with a cup of coffee, of course). This news will help to further silence those anti-coffee Nazis. Don't believe me? Well follow the link over to my post on Sprocket Ink and see for yourselves.

Just Where Have you Been This Week? - Hanging Out At Sprocket Ink.

Wait! What do you mean the week's over?! 

I know I've been noticeably absent all this week. I apologize. My brains have felt fried for most of the week (coffee deprivation) and I decided to take the week off. But, while I didn't do anything worth mentioning here, I did manage to do some stuff over at Sprocket Ink.

********

- On Tuesday we were talking fashion to deal with the extreme summer weather from my favorite place for all things quirky, Japan.

- I did some overtime and posted on Wednesday too with a funny story about DIY surgery... AGAIN! Honestly, people, when is that kind of stuff ever a good idea?

- Then, on Thursday, I put the snark aside for a bit and I got all contemplative on the whole internet anonymity issue that's being kicked around by various social networking sites.

If you missed any of those be sure to check them out.

********

In other news, I've been working on some toons, including the conclusion to Girls' Day Out but I've had to put it on hold because my mouse is on the fritz. I almost wrote a post about it but all I really had was a title - "Of Mice & Men" - which was cool enough but the story of a glitchy mouse didn't, in the end, seem like something worth sharing.

Anyway, drawing with a touchpad is ridiculously difficult. If I'm ever going to finish it, and the others I've been working on, I may have to bite the bullet and buy a new one.

Also, I forgot to mention this last week but the jury service adventures are over. I the end the magistrate said that we wouldn't be needed any more as the month would come to an end with no new cases that needed jurors.

That's it. You're now officially up-to-date on everything that's been going on here. Monday is public holiday here in T&T. We're celebrating Emancipation Day - commemorating the abolition of slavery here. I'll probably tell you more on that later. Or not. Depends on if I can get my caffeine levels topped-up.

Either way, I'll see you next week.

Moving Sucks

It's over. The move has been made. Moving is a strange feeling. You're in this strange new place, surrounded by all of your stuff but everything else is different.

We did save some money on the move. My wife's uncle, the evangelist I mentioned once before, also drives a van and helped us move for free. Sweet! That, however, had it's own set of drawbacks.

For one, he is an evangelist so he had to finish some commitments in his church before coming to help us move.

At around 9PM!

Added to that is that, even though he brought his son and another guy to lend a hand, he's family. So I had to help with the heavy lifting. Now, I'm not lazy... mostly, but there are guys who can help carry a fridge down a flight of stairs and there's me. Just sayin'.

Another thing is the van wasn't big enough to to take everything in one trip. It actually took three. We didn't make the final trip till well after midnight. And, since Mrs. C and Evie weren't willing to ride in back, I spent the last trip in the van like this:

After that was done Mrs. C and I got some unpacking. We set up Evie's room first so she could go to bed and proceeded to the other rooms to get a few things in order. By about 2:12am we were spent. We could barely move. Every box that needed lifting required deep contemplation and the summing up of all the will that could be mustered. In our bedroom I clambered up a chair to finally screw in the light bulb. Yes, I said "clambered". That's how tired I was. But we were determined to at least have the right bags and boxes in their respective rooms. We could call it a night if we could get that much done at least. We pressed on.

Then at around 4:30am we surveyed our progress. Everything still looked the same. Everything was still a mess. It was at that point we both breathed a collective "F*ck this shit!" and went to bed. The battle was lost. The junk had won.

When I woke up four hours later I moved some of the furniture into place and then I did my post over at Sprocket Ink. Go on and check it out if you haven't yet. After that was done I went back to bed until about 8pm last night.

The place looks like a home now but it's going to take a little getting used to. Especially having to use a different bathroom. I dunno. That's always been a little unsettling to me.

Sometimes Life Forces You To Slow Down

THURSDAY

6:30AM – (A young couple gets ready for work)

Her: Oh, I just remembered hearing about the water being shut off in the area for about 24 hours.

Him: When?

Her: I can’t remember hearing when.

Him: Hmph! That's helpful. Anyway, they don’t normally make those announcements more than a day in advance.

Her: Do we have enough filled up in case?

Him: No. We need to fill up.

Her: We can’t do that now. We’ll be late for work.

Him: I know! (Rolling his eyes) Anyway, the landlord has two huge water tanks in back. We should be okay. We probably won’t even have to use our reserves.

Her: Okay.

********

Just after 1:00PM – He is tired. He has been burning the candle at both ends these days and now he realizes he can’t even see straight. As he chugs his fourth cup of coffee he tries not to sound like a babbling idiot when he explains procedures to the trainee in his department.

4:30PM – He manages to survive and heads home. He shuffles up the stairs to his apartment and enters.

Something is off. He can’t place his finger on it but he’s too tired to care. He proceeds towards the bathroom, relieves himself and flushes. This is when he realizes that the tank isn’t refilling. His eyes widen. He heads back down the hall and sticks his head back into the living room. He now knows what it was that he sensed earlier.

It was the silence. What was missing was the familiar thump, thump, thump of the leaky kitchen faucet he'd been getting around to fixing one day.

"Shit!" 

FRIDAY

10:00AM – Mrs. C is at work. We decided the night before that she would use what was left of our water so that she could not miss any of her training for her transfer to day-shift. I sit at my netbook (the one that’s now down for repairs) writing this post. I keep the electric fan close, on high and directly pointed at me because, after not having bathed since yesterday morning, unnecessary sweating must be avoided. It seems that we were already running on the tank reserves even before our conversation yesterday morning and the 24 hours the water company said it would take was actually more of a suggestion. If nothing else, the forced day off from work was much needed.

RTT: Medicated, Sedated & Over-Caffeinated Edition

Greetings! And a special "hello" and "welcome" to my new followers I picked up in the last few days. I see you over there.

I'm trying to be more consistent with my RTT's. So not even this monster cold is going to stop me, dammit! Ow! Even yelling and shaking my fist at the sky hurts...

Of course, shout out to Keely, the Un Mom for making Random Tuesday Thoughts possible.

- I ran out of non-drowsy cold meds today so I’m forced to take the ones chocked-full of lovely sedatives. To compensate and keep my head from falling to my desk with a loud “THUD!!!”, I’m on a coffee binge. Currently, I’m on my third cup in the last two hours. My head is still banging on the desk but now I just bang it again a few more times real fast for good measure.

Next step is to run an coffee IV drip.

- Okay, that’s it! I’ve officially decided to stop complaining about my cold…

After this…

You know that cartoon where the guy is run over by a bus full of tourists so fat their stomachs are bulging out the windows… and the bus then proceeds to back over him and drive forward over him again and then the process is repeated again… and again… and again… then the bus driver comes out and blasts the guy on the ground with a flamethrower for a few seconds? Remember that one? That would feel so great right about now. I sneeze so hard, my rib cage is like, “DUDE!!! What the hell?!”

- That’s it. My last bitch about this cold. Most likely because if it gets any worse I’ll either spontaneously combust or succumb to it and emerge a full fledged zombie. Then my next post will sound like, “RAWRR!!! Me eat Boss Lady brains today. It taste like coo-coo bird.”

- Mrs. C watches Nigerian movies from time to time. They've started to grow in popularity here in recent years. They're not my thing but, this weekend, she asked me to watch one with her.

Holy.crap!

Have you ever watched one of these?! It was watching a school play. Yes, that bad. For the first half hour I had to keep asking what the hell was going on. I ended up sliding off the sofa when she let her guard down and crawling away soldier-style just to escape.

- Brief dialogue with Boss Man last week, just before the start of an overseas,  online conference meeting with one of the company’s suppliers:

Boss Man: Okay, this is the first time we’re doing this online. Vinny, you’re the IT student, the instructions are on this email. Let’s see what you got.

Me: (Looking at email) Oh, it’s easy. All you have to do is type in this URL and you’re all set.

Boss Man: Wait, wait, wait! Slow down, Mr. IT student! First, what is a URL?

Me: (Falls off chair.)

I Can Stop Anytime I Want To... I Just Don't Want To.

Mrs. C says that I have a problem. She seems to be of the opinion that I have become totally obsessed with drink a little too much coffee. After listening to her... um... argument, I myself began to wonder if there wasn't some truth to what she said. I remember, as a kid, I would say, "I don't know how adults can drink that!" and, "It smells nasty!" and even, "I will never drink coffee when I grow up!" Ah, the naivety of youth...

So what happened? When did it all change?

Then I started to think that, maybe, I was being too hard on myself. I might not even be addicted to coffee and I know people who are waaaay worse than me. To get some true perspective, I decided to make a list of how coffee has affected my life:

• When the study showed coffee as having those oh-so-good-for-you antioxidants I saved the article for use in future arguments with anti-coffee fanatics.
• I must not be talked to, asked anything of or interacted with in any way, shape or form until I've had at least one hit of caffeine. (Be prepared to lose a hand if you even attempt touching me pre: morning cup.)
• I'm of the firm opinion that if Jack's family were interviewed following the beanstalk incident one would discover that the "magic beans" referred to in the account that brought them adventure, fame and wealth were, in fact, coffee beans.
• I've attended meetings, seminars and conferences solely on the promise that free coffee would be available.
• I took my own coffee mug to the office because there's no way in hell those standard-sized mugs hold anywhere near enough.

• My scariest morning ever was when I woke up to find the coffee at home was finished. I kept it together until I got to work only to realize it was done there too. (I'm told I was found on the office kitchen floor, curled in a fetal ball, clutching my mug and whispering, "It's only a dream. A terrible, terrible dream..." over and over again.)

As I suspected, no problem at all. Besides, I'm pretty sure there isn't any kind of support group or twelve-step program here in T&T to deal with this. And I'm pretty sure I wouldn't join anyway... Unless they had free coffee available.