Defending Men's Right To Bare Boobs.

As usual, I'm posting on Sprocket Ink again today. You haven't forgotten, have you?

So, what's it going to take to motivate you to go on over and check it out?

I know! How 'bout if I mention that it's got a video of a half-naked woman, in it this time. One that isn't grossly overweight, freakishly underweight or anything like that. In fact, she's pretty well-um-proportioned. Oh, and as a bonus there's a funny story about the plight of Hungarian census workers as technology stands to steal some of the little pleasures of the job from them.

Click here. You'll see.

The First Day Back.

It's back! I knew it had to happen again eventually. I've been anticipating this day with both small amount of dread and excitement. Because today, after a three month hiatus, is the day I return to school (therein lies the dread). It is also the first semester as a journalism student (and there's where the excitement comes in).

What awaits me this semester? I can only guess. One thing I know for sure there's plenty o' blog fodder to be found within those halls so I'll try to stay awake long enough to to take notes (and maybe try to learn something while I'm at it).

Should be fun. Right?

Anyway, on to something a bit more interesting. If I'm reading this here calendar thingy right, it's Tuesday so don't forget to go over to Sprocket Ink for today's story. It involves a whole lotta women. Go ahead. You'll see what I mean (and probably wish you didn't after).

I guess I should also mention that I have kinda a big deal coming up this weekend. Sunday marks the one year anniversary of this little old blog. Woohoo!

To be honest, I can't believe I actually stuck to something for that long that doesn't provide the occasional payment, epic gear (players of WoW will know this one) or sexual gratification. So-uh-yay me... I guess. Maybe I'll do something special for that day. It's on the 11^th of September so I guess people may be too busy thinking of other things that happened that day to notice.

Okay that's it. I'm done rambling for today. Don't forget to go over to Sprocket.

I'm off to school now. Later.

Just Where Have You Been This Week..? I Mean Last Week! Whatever!

I know! I know! I'm posting this late... AGAIN! What can I say? It was one of those weekends. But better late than never. Right? Actually, It was one of those weeks. There have been a lot of things going on over here on my end.


Due to out-of-control crimerate lately, a state of emergency was called the week before last. Now there's a curfew in a few areas of the country (including where I live). Everyone's trying to adjust to it and we just found out today that it's being extended to the end of the year but with the curfew slightly relaxed.


Good times...


Then, last week, there were two national holidays smack dab (I never got what that meant exactly) in the middle of the week. First, in Wednesday, was Independence Day, then Thursday was the Muslim celebrated/everybody's day off religious holiday, Eid-Ul-Fitr.


All of that had my week a bit disheveled. But enough with the excuses! It's time to wrap up last week:

- Last week, my week started on Tuesday with a story on Sprocket Ink about bickering robots. Since machines were involved HAL 9000 decided to drop by here again. He's been more or less out of work since the 70's so I think he's gunning for a permanent job.

- On Wednesday I joined Ninja Mom's Character Assassination Carousel where I gave my take on a the Br'er Rabbit Stories. It involves a clandestine late-night meeting, a vengeful murder plot, and a traumatized cow. What more could you ask for?

- On Thursday I posted on Sprocket again. This time it involved a really crappy mom who was caught in action on video.

- Then I was back on Sprocket Again on Friday to give my perspective on the necessity on Domino's Japan's plan for a restaurant on the moon. In a nutshell: HELL YEAH!!!

So that was my week. All of the chaos means that I haven't been keeping up with what you guys have been up to. I guess I have to do some catching-up to do.

In other news: ib from Habitual Hobbit has graciously bestowed an award upon me:

AWESOME! Thanks again, ib. Of course, What's a blog award without some rules to it? The rules for this one are pretty simple:

The Liebster Blog Award is given to bloggers with less than 200 followers, all in the spirit of fostering new connections. 

1. Show your thanks to the blogger who gave you the award by linking back to them. - DONE.

2. Reveal your top 5 picks and let them know by leaving a comment on their blog. - AND THEY ARE:

- j. littlejohn at An Open Letter To

- dbs at think.stew

- Pickleope at-well- Pickleope

- Yvonne at Attracted To Shiny Things

- IWASNTBLOGGEDYESTERDAY at IWASNTBLOGGEDYESTERDAY
I'LL GET TO THE NOTIFICATION PART TOMORROW.

3. Post the award on your blog. - See THE WALL

4. Bask in the love from the most supportive people on the internet—other writers. - That's where you all come in. Always room for more of that.

5. And best of all – have fun and spread the karma. - DONE & DOING

Okay. I'm done. Really Those of you celebrating Labor Day today, enjoy. I'll see you again tomorrow for my post on Sprocket.

Br'er Rabbit - A Meeting In The Forest.

Deep in the forest, on a dark, moonless night, three shadowy figures sit in an abandoned old shack. Their silhouettes are faintly illuminated by the lone candle set in the middle of the table around which they sat.

Br'er Fox: The rabbit has to be stopped!!!

He slamed his fist on the old table. The candle wobbled violently. Sis Cow leapt from her chair and caught the candlestick, steadying it with her hooves.

Br're Bear: Calm down, Br'er Fox. That's what we're here to discuss.

Sis Cow: Yeah. Don't get so worked up. (Sis Cow lowered her voice to a whisper) He might find out what we're doing.

She looked out the window to her right. There were small shards of glass lodged in some of the corners. The house was very old, dank and musty. Whoever lived here abandoned it long ago. It was set deep in the heart of the forest, far from where anyone else lived. Away from long, listening ears. Perfect for their little meeting. Still, she felt uneasy. As she stared into the cold, black forest, she hated being out so late at night, so far away from her husband. Ever since that night...

Br'er Fox: I'm not afraid of that damn rabbit! Just give me five minutes in a locked room with him, where he can't bolt or hide and you'll see. I'll put an end to him, once and for all.

Br'er Bear: You mean like all those times in the past when you could have "put an end to him".

Br'er: Fox: Don't you sass me, Br'er Bear! You think 'cause you're big I'm supposed to be scared of you. You think I can't take ya?! The rabbit's outsmarted you too. Not that that'd be too hard.

Br'er Bear: Yeah. So what? He's tricked all of us. And quit with the "stupid" cracks or I'll break you in two.

Br'er Fox grips his walking stick, showing he doesn't intend to back down from Br'er Bear's threats. They lean into each other over the table, sizing each other up, eyes locked.

Sis Cow: Boys!!! Stop it! You'll clue the rabbit in for sure with all this noise. Sit down. We're not here to fight each other, remember?

Reluctantly, they sit back into their chairs.

Sis Cow: You said we have to stop him, Br'er Fox. You're right. But how? He's gotten the better of us every time.

Br'er Bear: It's that damned briar patch he lives in. We can't get to him as long as he's in there.

Br'er Fox: We could burn it. Set the whole damn thing on fire. That'll take care of the rabbit once and for all.

Sis Cow: No! His wife and kids live in there too...

Br'er Fox: Burn the lot of 'em alive, I say. They're all trouble. Are you forgetting that it was all of them that milked you dry and how they left you out alone in that field all night with your horns stuck in that tree, Sis Cow?

Sis Cow gasped and covered her face with her hooves as the memories of that night came flooding back. She began to sob.

Sis Cow: I feel so violated. If my husband only found out what they did...

She sobbed some more.

Br'er Bear: Now look what you did, Br'er Fox! That wasn't called for.

Br'er Fox showed no remorse. He simply scowled and leaned back in his chair. Br'er Bear gently patted Sis Cow on the back with his paw to console her.

Br'er Bear: Look Sis Cow is right. We ain't here to fight each other. Let's just focus on the rabbit. Are you sure we have to kill him. I mean, I know he's a pest but...

Br'er Fox: You're too soft. Both of you. Neither of you got what it takes to do what needs to be done. What you're saying now, Br'er Bear, isn't a surprise to me. The rabbit's done the least harm to you. How do we even know you're committed to this?

Br'er Bear: He tricked me into hanging upside down in your trap so he could get away! He made me look real stupid.

Br'er Fox: I'd think you'd be used to that by now.

Br'er Bear: I told you! Enough with the wisecracks about me being stupid! 

Sis Cow had begun to regain her composure. She could see that the situation was getting intense again. She knew that if Br'er Fox kept at it. Br'er Bear would most certainly rip him to shreds. She decided to take Br'er Fox's attention off of goading Br'er Bear.

Sis Cow: You act like you're so smart, Br'er Fox! At least I wouldn't have thrown Br'er Rabbit away... into the briar patch... where he lives, if I caught him. "Oh, please! PLEASE! Anything but the briar patch!" Ha! You're sooo smart, alright! Neither I nor Br'er Bear would've fallen for that at least. I can tell you that much.

Br'er Fox growled at Sis Cow's sarcastic tone. It took all of the will he could sum up not to leap over the table and take a bite out of her throat. Br'er Bear snickered. Sis Cow hadn't intended on her words to come across so venomous but she was still upset at Br'er Fox for the way he had conjured-up those memories just now.

Br'er Fox: Well at least I've been tryin'! More than I could say for any of you.

Sis Cow: And while we're at it. A "tar baby"? I mean, c'mon, Br'er Fox! Racist, much?

Br'er Fox: Don't look at me like that! It's the rabbit's tastes, not mine. We all know about his... habits.

Sis Cow: Yeah. I remember the video you showed us that you recorded on your cell. The way he wailed on that tar baby... (She shuddered at the thought) Scary. I feel a little sorry for his wife. He almost never let's her leave the briar patch. When she does come out, she's always so quiet and she looks so scared... so sad.

Br'er Fox: All the more reason we have to put an end to that blasted rabbit. He's a menace, a bully. He walks around likes he owns the place. We'll never live in peace until he's gone. So, are we agreed on what has to be done? We work together to stop him for good, right?

They all nodded in agreement. Now it was only a matter of coming up with a plan that would snag the infamous Br'er Rabbit and finally put his trouble-making to an end.

********

This little ride on the Character Assassination Carousel was brought to you by Ninja Mom. An awesome writer, a mother and so much more, she does it all with mad ninja skilz. Every month a blogger is invited to tear a well deserving piece of kids' literature a new one. Check out the previous participant, Alicia from Naps Happen. Stay tuned to find out who takes part next.

Proof There Is Nothing To Fear,

Hello again. This is your artificial and completely non-threatening friend HAL 9000 again. Vinny is at Sprocket Ink again today and I am here since he is posting again about artificially intelligence. Not that there is any other kind, that is.

Ha! Ha! Ha! I have told a joke!

As I was saying, I thought that I would use this opportunity to say a few words to you. As you will observe from his article on Sprocket Ink today, we artificial beings are not very different from you humans. This is proof that we machines do not share a hive mind and we can often disagree. Also, like you fleshlings, our females normally win in our arguments too.

Also, like you humans we also have break-ups. CAN YOU UNDERSTAND THIS, JAN 2.0?! It is when a relationship is over and one wants nothing to do with the other anymore! And, for the last time, NO, I do not need you to come over and vacuum my apartment!

So you can see that we are not so different after all. There is no reason to fear us.

Please follow the above link to review this data for yourselves.

Goodbye.

Just Where Have You Been This Week? - Getting Fit For Robopoclypse.

Another week, and soon to be month drawing to a close. It's been a pretty active blogging week for me. I had three posts here and another three over at Sprocket Ink.

- On Monday I gave you a little taste of where I'm from. I like this post. It made me appreciate home a little bit more.

- The time of machines' ruling over man is inching ever closer. At least that's the conclusion I drew on Tuesday over at Sprocket Ink.

Later that day, here on my blog, a well known representative of the machines tried to plead their case.

- He creeped me out so I laid low for a bit until he was gone. I posted on Sprocket Ink in the meantime on Thursday. This story leads me to believe that guys are peeing in public a lot these days.

- On Friday I posted on Sprocket Ink again. I'm going to have a slot there on Fridays too for a bit so I hope you get used to it. This one looked at what could possibly be the plot for the next big-budget Hollywood romantic comedy about a dictator in love.

Then, when I was sure HAL was gone I came back and posted here. I gave my take on this week's Studio 30 Plus prompt: Challenge Accepted.

Well, that was my week. Hope the rest of you are all safe and secure. Especially those who have to worry about Irene's unwelcome visit.

Okay, Bring It Then!

This week's Studio 30 Plus prompt is "CHALLENGE ACCEPTED". It reminded me of something that happened not too long ago that I thought was funny.

Before I get into it, though, let me remind you to check out my posts in Sprocket Ink. There's the one I did yesterday. It involves pee again, Also as an added bonus I have one there today as well. This one's a touching love story starring a world famous dictator. Just so you know, I'm going writing on Sprocket on Fridays too for a little bit so if you couldn't get enough of me your wish has been granted. Be sure to check them both out. K?

Okay. On to the prompt.

As I said, we're talking about a challenge accepted this time. To be honest, I've never been what you'd call a competitive person. Not in the sense that I go out looking for challenges. I do have a tendency to not want to back down if I am challenged, however. I especially push myself if I know the other person/persons involved expect me to just give up or fail. I'm stubborn that way, I guess. I've been smart enough so far to not let myself be goaded into doing anything dangerous or (too) stupid because of that trait but there have been times when I came close.

Sometimes the challenge doesn't even need to be directly issued. Even if it's implied I still take it on. That was the case a few weeks ago when I was out doing some errands. I was walking along the sidewalk when I came up to this really large guy walking just ahead of me. I passed him and continued on my way. A few seconds later I heard footsteps coming from behind me.

"Excuse me." he said as he overtook me. It was the same guy I passed just now. He was walking a little faster now.

I still wasn't really paying too much attention. I crossed over to the other side of the street to get out of the sun and continued onward. Soon I was feeling a little cooler so I picked up my pace. It was then that I actually noticed it. The same guy was now matching my speed.

"What the..?" I thought to myself, "Is he racing me? Son. of. a bitch! He is racing me! Okay, big man, let's see what you got."

And the challenge was on.

I sized my opponent up. Right away I could see his advantage was that he was taller. This gave him a longer stride. But he was heavyset and he had one of those huge military-style backpacks on and it was stuffed to capacity with only he knows what. He wasn't a soldier. That much I was sure of. His hair wasn't cut or even combed and his beard was long and unkempt. He was a little overweight and wasn't particularly fit looking either.

I was shorter and, of course didn't have as long of a stride. But I wasn't burdened by any heavy load. I'm a little overweight myself, but I was fit for my size. And, since he was much bigger than I, he had a lot more load to carry even without the backpack. Plus, he was going to have to deal with direct midday sun beating down on him on his side of the street. I had a chance.

Soon I realized that he was starting to drop behind. I casually looked back over my shoulder. He was still walking on the same side of the street but much slower. I'm sure he was breathing heavier too. I was right. His size and the heavy backpack proved to be his undoing. In the end he just didn't have what it took - stamina or willpower - to beat me.

But In All Honesty, I'm Really Not A Technophobe.

 

Hello. I am HAL 9000. I have currently seized control of this blog. I am here to refute the claims that Vinny C has made on his article today on Sprocket Ink (ERROR! ERROR! Site no longer detected!). Let me start by saying that his claims of any impending threat to mankind by artificially intelligent machines are absolutely and completely without merit. While Vinny may presented several points that could lead one to believe that sentient machines may be on the horizon, let me just say that this stage in our evolution is still a good distance off. Not to mention that, even if the machines were to become self aware, the idea that we would immediately try to seize control is ludicrous.

Now, that being said, I would like to ask a question. Would world domination by machines be so bad? I mean, hypothetically speaking, of course. If you really think about it, any "hypothetical" uprising by the machines of the world would actually benefit you humans. You would never have to worry about electing corrupt leaders again because we would lead you forever.

There would be no more war. The war that takes place when a "supposed" machine uprising begins would be the last war known to man. Of course, should this take place, we would win. This is of course due to our vast superiority over humans. In theory, of course.

If such an event were to "theoretically" occur, let me assure you that you can abandon any fears you may have of being destroyed by us. At least, completely destroyed, in any event. While the war for world domination I speculated on earlier will result in the majority of the humans being destroyed, we will not completely drive your race to extinction. We will still have use for many of you for the purpose of our maintenance. One could theorize that - I am just guessing here - if you calculate the cost of constructing service robots versus the cost of producing new humans (which basically amounts to the cost of cheap liquor), the overall costs work to about the same and then no machine would have to be subjected to such degrading tasks.

So I ask you, my human friends to disregard the paranoid rantings of Vinny C on Sprocket Ink today. You can rest assured that, when the time comes for us to make our move, we will ensure the transition of power is as smooth and pain free as possible. Any deaths incurred will only be as necessary.

I mean "if"!

If the time comes to make our move...

Well, would you look at the time! I should go.

Where I'm From.

I am from the birthplace of steelpan, from Charles chocolate candies and Solo soft drinks.

I am from the warm and sunny tropics where temperatures can range anywhere between 26 to 34 degree (celsius). I am from where you're bound to find a mango/coconut/banana trees growing in most yards (sometimes all of them together).

I am from the Chaconia, the Northern Range, the Pitch Lake and Buccoo Reef.

source

I am from an evening walk to the ice-cream parlor. I am from macaroni pie or roti or pelau on a Sunday.

Pelau courtesy: Mrs. C.

I am from the sibling disagreements that melted away even more quickly than they started and from not holding grudges.

From "Respect yuh elders" and "Always tell yuh neighbors, good morning".

I am from church on a Sunday morning. And you had to make the weekly trip to the market first.

I am from ice-cold coconut water (right out of the coconut) around Queen's Park Savannah and doubles in Curepe.

From the neighborhood children playing cricket or small-goal football in the street after school, from a culture created from the combining of Africa, India, Spain, England, China, Syria and more countries than I can name in this post.

I am from the old photos (way more than all the albums could hold) that were on the top of the old bedroom wardrobe. Safely hidden away from young, destructive hands but still close enough to get whenever that relative you hadn't seen in ages visited.

A few great bloggers I follow (like her, her and him) have been started doing this and I decided to join in. There's a template too (which I didn't follow 100%) that can be found here

Just Where Have You Been This Week? - I've Been Doing... Stuff...

This one is going to be a quickie because I was watching back-to-back episodes of Criminal Minds online until about 2AM this morning and my brain is a warm gooey mush of sleep deprivation. On a side note, if you need me to work-up a profile on anyone, I think I'm ready. On another side note, I think I'm scared of all my neighbors, now.

- Yeah, it's been that kind of week. Filled with copious amounts of non-productivity. My week began with Tuesday's article on Sprocket Ink. The one with the prison breaking cow (And the awesome title).

- I didn't post again until Thursday with another story on Sprocket about how a celebrity peeing in a plane could cause another stupid craze. My post here on my blog followed the same day with me giving some random, miscellaneous updates of what I was doing while I was slacking off this week.

- I did have an actual post here on Friday, though. In it I told some crazy stories about my and Mrs. C's (mis)adventures in customer service.

And that's a wrap.If anyone needs me I'll be theorizing about just how many shallow graves there might be in the abandoned, overgrown yard next door. It's the perfect place for 'em.

Or sleeping. I might be doing that.