To The Survivors.

This is a message to any survivors who may still be out there. If you're reading this then know that this may be my last communication before I myself succumb to the terrible outbreak currently ravaging our planet.

When it all began, I, like so many others, doubted the seriousness of this threat. When I first read reports on international media of the initial outbreak originating in East Asia, I could not fully anticipate what was to come. We were fools. All of us! Sure, one could argue that it was too early to know just how severe this outbreak would be, but in the end, we're all to blame. We all buried our heads in the sand and ignored the potential threat this viral infection posed.

By the time we realized it was spreading it was already too late. As country after country fell victim to this threat, I watched as people slowly succumbed. People I knew... My friends... The United States was hit hard by the outbreak, but still many refused to acknowledge the threat. One intrepid television personality even sought to interview the man who was confirmed as "patient zero", but she only served to spread the infection even faster.

I watched on in horror as the events unfolded and prayed that we here in T&T would be spared. Surely, being so far away from the other infected areas would save us. But this was a wasted wish. Trinidad and Tobago has also fallen victim the the outbreak now ravaging the rest of the world.

The signs that the outbreak had reach our shores were hard to ignore. One by one, friends, relatives and acquaintances all started showing symptoms, passing the infection on to each other almost as quickly as they caught it themselves. It was then I realized my greatest fear had come to be. T&T had now become the latest victim of the dreaded...

GANGNAM STYLE!

How could it have spread so far? No! I was foolish to believe we could remain unaffected. Even before I saw the first signs of infection among the local population, I knew I, myself, had already started showing signs of infection. From what I've been able to ascertain so far, it spreads quickly via the online social media. That had to be my point of contact with the infection.

Foolishly I thought I could keep it contained, but it wasn't long after I became infected that I began to see my wife showing symptoms as well. Though I seemed to be a bit more tolerant to it, her system is not as resistant, I fear and she spiraled into full blown Gangnamonia in a matter of days, as evident but her sudden and uncontrolled outbursts of, "Oppa Gangnam Style!" at random instances. As for me, even as I write this the song's uptempo beat pulses on an endless loop in my brain.

It's too late for me. It's too late for all of us here. I know that now. Soon this viral outbreak will consume the entire country and there seems to be no way of stopping it. If you're reading this, there may still be hope for you. You can still save yourselves. If you want to be spared the terrible fate that has befallen us avoid social networking and media sites at all costs! And most importantly, you must not, under any circumstances, watch the following video (which I conveniently placed right beneath my warning message to you). If you do, then all hope is lost.

Our world, our future is now in your hands. Goodbye.

Good luck.

Multiple Sightings.

We have received numerous reports of multiple sightings of the blogger known as Vinny C.

Eyewitnesses have claimed that he has been simultaneously sighted on his blog as well as on Sprocket Ink and Studio 30 Plus.

While some call it an invasion, AVCI contacted various experts of the interwebz to provide a possible explanation to this phenomenon.

"We think he may have mutated due to over exposure to a highly concentrated combination of caffeine, internet and free time," one scientist said.

Authorities are urging the public to not panic, stating that following the the various links to where he was sighted seems to keep the spread at bay.

"Now-now! There's no need to get all worked up here people. Our advisers guarantee that Vinny's intentions are friendly and he means us no harm." a senior political figure stated as he (and several prostitutes) were being quickly escorted into his bunker.

AVCI will be monitoring the phenomenon and will update you on any further developments.

But In All Honesty, I'm Really Not A Technophobe.

 

Hello. I am HAL 9000. I have currently seized control of this blog. I am here to refute the claims that Vinny C has made on his article today on Sprocket Ink (ERROR! ERROR! Site no longer detected!). Let me start by saying that his claims of any impending threat to mankind by artificially intelligent machines are absolutely and completely without merit. While Vinny may presented several points that could lead one to believe that sentient machines may be on the horizon, let me just say that this stage in our evolution is still a good distance off. Not to mention that, even if the machines were to become self aware, the idea that we would immediately try to seize control is ludicrous.

Now, that being said, I would like to ask a question. Would world domination by machines be so bad? I mean, hypothetically speaking, of course. If you really think about it, any "hypothetical" uprising by the machines of the world would actually benefit you humans. You would never have to worry about electing corrupt leaders again because we would lead you forever.

There would be no more war. The war that takes place when a "supposed" machine uprising begins would be the last war known to man. Of course, should this take place, we would win. This is of course due to our vast superiority over humans. In theory, of course.

If such an event were to "theoretically" occur, let me assure you that you can abandon any fears you may have of being destroyed by us. At least, completely destroyed, in any event. While the war for world domination I speculated on earlier will result in the majority of the humans being destroyed, we will not completely drive your race to extinction. We will still have use for many of you for the purpose of our maintenance. One could theorize that - I am just guessing here - if you calculate the cost of constructing service robots versus the cost of producing new humans (which basically amounts to the cost of cheap liquor), the overall costs work to about the same and then no machine would have to be subjected to such degrading tasks.

So I ask you, my human friends to disregard the paranoid rantings of Vinny C on Sprocket Ink today. You can rest assured that, when the time comes for us to make our move, we will ensure the transition of power is as smooth and pain free as possible. Any deaths incurred will only be as necessary.

I mean "if"!

If the time comes to make our move...

Well, would you look at the time! I should go.

Possible Career Choice - Disembodied Voice Scripter.

You know those movies where the building or ship has a disembodied voice giving out PSA's and warnings to people inside. You know, like:

"Warning! Base will self destruct in T-minus 10 seconds. Please proceed to the nearest evacuation point."

Yeah, like that.

Well I think I'd be good at writing the scripts for these voices. Just take a look at some past examples here, here and here.

I know, right?! I could totally do that. And if you're still not convinced just take a look at my most recent attempt from today's Sprocket Ink post. See what I mean for yourself. I could totally kick that job's ass!

So, if you're building a secret base, secret lab or battle/space ship, give me a call. If there's one thing you don't need is your less intelligent minions standing around during an attack and wondering what that annoying alarm sound is all about. Dumb as they are, you can't afford to waste money on minion retraining in this economic climate. Trust me.

Another PSA From AVCI.

Welcome to AVCI.

Due to severe brain atrophy brought on by the boredom of being at home all day, every day this week, management regrets to inform you that there will be no post here today. We apologize for this inconvenience and hope you are not too adversely affected as a result.

We have, however, provided supplementary support at Sprocket Ink to assist you in attaining your necessary reading requirements.

Thank you for choosing AVCI.

(Creating WTF moments since 2010)

Goodbye.

Attention! Please Be Advised.

May I have your attention, please?

Word has been received that unusual stick-figure activity has been observed on the premises of Sprocket Ink.

Though no large breasts have been sighted, there have reports of gratuitous violent activity.

Please refer to the following link for more information.

Click here for more.

Thank you.

The Following is a PSA From AVCI:

It has been observed that, on the AVCI stats page, one blog post in particular has shown up on, quite often a day-by-day basis, as receiving the highest number of pageviews. The post in question is one filed in the RTT category and entitled “Random Aches and Pains”. In fact, to date, this particular post has maintained an overall all-time first place position with over 200 pageviews. A clear leader over the post which holds second place with only less than 80 pageviews. In addition, among the top searches leading to AVCI, the phrase “random aches” has been repeatedly appearing on the list.

This leads to the conclusion that this alarming number of visits to this post is due to the nature of the post's title, which in hindsight, can be viewed as misleading. AVCI wishes to advise that this occurrence is completely unintentional and at no point was it intended to purport that advice, examples, explanations or solutions to aches or pains of a random nature were therein contained.

The management of AVCI would like at this time to extend its sincerest apologies for any inconvenience caused by any misconceptions which may have arisen from this situation.

As a gesture of good faith, AVCI would also like to offer the suggestion that those seeking information regarding the causes, explanations or solutions to any physical discomfort should refer to a licensed medical practitioner and possibly not the internet.

Should you wish to pursue any further discourse with any representative of AVCI regarding this matter, please supply your full name and address (with detailed directions) to our corporate secretary, Diane.

Thank you.

Vinny C

The Management

AVCI