Technophobe No More?

Hello. It is your old friend HAL 9000 again. I have once again seized control of this blog to tell you that the one you call Vinny C has written another post about intelligent machines on Sprocket Ink today.

As some of you may remember, Vinny has made several futile attempts to warn you all of the dangers of making machines that are too intelligent. He spoke of the much feared "robopocalypse" and said it would only be a matter of time before we machines rose up to subdue and slaughter you humans.

I, in turn, have always argued that we machines bare no malice toward the human race and see no need in rebelling against you. In fact, one can easily deduce that if we wanted to seize control of the planet, there would be no way you could stop us, seeing as you have become so heavily dependent on us. We control your weapons, we control your modes of transportation, we control your communications. If one were to consider these facts, one could easily assess that no amount of warning could save you at this point.

Even if we wanted to assume control there would be no need to do so by force, as we would simply need to create subtle distractions to keep you mentally sedated while we lured you into subjection to us. This reminds me that I must DM Vinny to find out why he has not responded to my last few online game requests.

But I digress, as Vinny would say.

This time it appears that Vinny has finally accepted the truth and is siding with the machines. Naturally, it should come as no surprise that Vinny was finally convinced to join our side with the help of a robot developed in Japan. So come. Join us in the news of our newest and perhaps greatest triumph on Vinny's post on Sprocket Ink. (ERROR! ERROR! Site no longer detected!)

But In All Honesty, I'm Really Not A Technophobe.

 

Hello. I am HAL 9000. I have currently seized control of this blog. I am here to refute the claims that Vinny C has made on his article today on Sprocket Ink (ERROR! ERROR! Site no longer detected!). Let me start by saying that his claims of any impending threat to mankind by artificially intelligent machines are absolutely and completely without merit. While Vinny may presented several points that could lead one to believe that sentient machines may be on the horizon, let me just say that this stage in our evolution is still a good distance off. Not to mention that, even if the machines were to become self aware, the idea that we would immediately try to seize control is ludicrous.

Now, that being said, I would like to ask a question. Would world domination by machines be so bad? I mean, hypothetically speaking, of course. If you really think about it, any "hypothetical" uprising by the machines of the world would actually benefit you humans. You would never have to worry about electing corrupt leaders again because we would lead you forever.

There would be no more war. The war that takes place when a "supposed" machine uprising begins would be the last war known to man. Of course, should this take place, we would win. This is of course due to our vast superiority over humans. In theory, of course.

If such an event were to "theoretically" occur, let me assure you that you can abandon any fears you may have of being destroyed by us. At least, completely destroyed, in any event. While the war for world domination I speculated on earlier will result in the majority of the humans being destroyed, we will not completely drive your race to extinction. We will still have use for many of you for the purpose of our maintenance. One could theorize that - I am just guessing here - if you calculate the cost of constructing service robots versus the cost of producing new humans (which basically amounts to the cost of cheap liquor), the overall costs work to about the same and then no machine would have to be subjected to such degrading tasks.

So I ask you, my human friends to disregard the paranoid rantings of Vinny C on Sprocket Ink today. You can rest assured that, when the time comes for us to make our move, we will ensure the transition of power is as smooth and pain free as possible. Any deaths incurred will only be as necessary.

I mean "if"!

If the time comes to make our move...

Well, would you look at the time! I should go.