Sometimes It's Nice To Know You're Not The Only One.

As I have mentioned in the past, I use to be in banking. I also mentioned that, due to the poor handling on my part of some situations during that time, I was forced to leave it. It's okay, though. I'm over it.

As I've also mentioned, my wife works for a bank as well. She was lucky. She did data entry there and never had to see a single customer. There was a down side, though. She worked on evenings and our, then, routine was me leaving for work with her fast asleep and her coming home from work after I was already in bed. I used to joke that we were only married on weekends because that was when we actually spent any kind of time together. After multiple transfer requests, they got tired of her... persistence and now she's a teller, working the day-shift in a regular branch.

Because of my experience on the customer service side of things, I try help Mrs. C learn from the mistakes that I made. I warn her from time-to-time about the various perils and, especially, the crazies she'd inevitably meet.

For example, there was the time I had to decline someone's loan because his demands were impossible to meet and he wouldn't listen to reason. There was just no way to approve it.  He, however, said I declined his loan because I was racist. He neglected to take into consideration that we were both of the same race when he made the charge though.

Another time, there was this guy who would apparently come in every few months to complain about discrepancies on his credit card statements. Even though I was in loans, the person dealing with him decided to shovel him off on the next available person and basically conned me into seeing him. By the time I realized he wasn't applying for a new credit card, it was too late.

It was during this meeting that the customer confided in me that the bank was conspiring to hide the truth about his credit card info and that he finally had proof. That proof being his "real" credit card statement versus a "phony" copy the he was provided with.

Customer: You can see it right here! The bank's logo on my copy I got in the mail is red. This other copy they gave me has a black logo.

Me: Okaaaay... What else?

Customer: What do you mean? Mine is obviously the official thing because it's in color. The one they printed and gave me isn't so it has to be made-up.
Me: But the information on both is exactly the same.
Customer: *blink*

Me: Who gave it to you?

Customer: Them. Over by that counter just now.

He was pointing at the CSR counter across the floor. They only have a black and white printer there.

But, this past Wednesday morning was Mrs. C's turn. Like so many of my customers, her encounter had her a state of bewilderment that lasted for about half a day.

Customer 2: I'd like to make a withdrawal.

Mrs. C: Sure. One second... I'm sorry. You don't seem to have any money in your account.

Customer 2: But my disability comes in at the end of every month.

Mrs. C: Wait, please. Let me check the history. Oh yes. It did come in at that time. But it looks like you withdrew it already.

Customer 2: I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about this months payment. It should be there. It comes in at the end of every month, you know.

Mrs. C: Um... sir. It's only the the 17th.

Customer: *blink*

Mrs. C: It isn't the end of the month yet.

Customer: But... the full moon already passed...

Mrs. C: Okaaaay... (places hand close to panic button).

Luckily, her customer left soon after that without incident. I assume to consult with the moon again and make sure their schedules sync-up.

Knowing the crazies exist and actually encountering them are two different things and you almost never know what's going to happen next. Almost makes me nostalgic, to be honest.

Not really.

Welcome To A New Week &... What..? Thursday Already!?!

You may or may not have noticed my absence these past few days. This is my first post here this week and it's already Thursday. What can I say? I've been busy playing video games watching anime sleeping doing... very... constructive-um-things. Honest!

Actually, I was pretty busy on Monday. Mrs. C took the day off from work and we spent it together... Doing errands... Alllll. day. long. Sounds like fun, right? SIGH! I'm going to be honest with you guys. If there's one thing I'm not a fan of, is running around half the country doing errands and shopping/window shopping. But I survived it. Mostly.

Anyway, I hope you've at least been keeping up with me and the gang over at Sprocket Ink. You did remember my posts there... Right?

Well, for those of you who missed out, here's the link to what I wrote on Tuesday about a really smart cow and here's the link to today's story about what I think should be the latest entry into the stupid craze epidemic. Feel free to go ahead and the check both of them out.

Also, I have been doing a lot of tooning the last few days. I've finally gotten around to trying to finish part 2 of Girls' Day Out. It's a lot of work but I'm almost done and I'll have that for you soon(ish).

Just Where Have you Been This Week? - Practicing My Jazz Hands.

I had a busy week this week. What, with a post everyday since Monday, my two at Sprocket Ink and a guest post at Naked Girl in a Dress, I'd say I deserve to sleep in today. Wait. It's Saturday! I can do that anyway.

- As I said, it all started on Monday. That's when I talked about my never-ending war on soap scum.

- Tuesday I touched on boobies (*snicker*) both here and at Sprocket Ink.

- On Wednesday things got a little weird (er?) when I talked about being naked. It was really just a tie-in to my first ever guest post which was on the blog of my good friend, Kelly, at Naked Girl in a Dress. But, as a result, my stats went through the roof.

- On Thursday I said the word naked again and things got worse (page views seems to have holding just below 2,700). Then over at Sprocket Ink I told you about vital information about female orgasms and joining the mile-high club.

It's been that kind of week...

- Finally, on Friday the raunchiness was toned down so I could hopefully advise misguided fans of another Vinny C away from my Twitter account. Due to overwhelming requests on this post, I'll be working on my jazz hands. Hope you're all happy now.

And that brings us to where we are now. I don't know about you but I'm going back to bed for a while.

Oh! In other updates: Kelly from Naked Girl in a Dress made a request that she said I could share. Apparently, she has a friend who may or may not be incarcerated right now. She's leaning towards 'may', even though this friend says he's "working" out of state. Anyway, she wanted to give him a little gift that could help him keep the dangers in prison life in mind. See if you can guess what she's warning him about:

'Random' is an inside joke between the two of them.

Lastly, you may or may not have noticed that I haven't really mentioned much about school in the past few months. That's because I wasn't there. With the whole job loss situation, I thought it best to take a semester off to get my head thgether. Fortunately, the last semester was the short "optional" semester and there are no penalties or special procedures to skip it. You just don't register. No harm, no fowl, as they say. So that's what I did.

But all that's coming to an end as I'll be finally emerging into the daylight again (Not exactly since I study in the evenings). I'll be taking three subjects that officially mark my first classes since switching to Journalism. I'll be good to get out of the house, I guess. Give the brain a much-needed workout and all. All the better to find blog fodder, I say.

So I hope you'll all ready for some good, old fashioned complaining about my fellow students, lecturers and the school in general. Just like old times.

Coming this September...

No, no, no! I'm Not *That* Vinny C.

It has come to my attention that I've become a victim of identity theft. Okay, I'm exaggerating. But it's still a case mistaken identity.

See, there's this show on MTV called America's Best Dance Crew and one of the dance groups this season (I think. I don't watch it) is a group called ICONic Boyz (with a "z", of course). Among the members is a kid named Vincent Castronovo. Young Vincent is apparently quite popular and is sometimes referred to as...

Vinny C.

Yeah, I know. Crazy, right?

And that's about much research as I did on this show.

Anyway, this other Vinny C has his own Facebook fan page, twitter and tumblr accounts. There is apparently a fan site too called "F*ck Yeah Vinny C" (which is a little too much enthusiasm, if you ask me). Now it seems his fans, in a desperate search to attach themselves to anything Vincent Castronovo, have been sniffing around and following to my Twitter account.

I've got nothing against the kid so if any of his loyal fans read this, please stifle the overwhelming urge to blast me with angry comments in his defense. I'm just saying, I'm not him. If this still offends you then you're beyond any help I (or anyone else besides maybe a therapist) can offer.

That being said, I'd like to take the time to inform these misdirected fans that they should observe the obvious differences between the young Mr. Castronovo and myself before following my tweets only to realize your mistake a few days later and dropping me like a soiled jockstrap.

Vincent Castronovo:

Source

Me: 

Take a few seconds. Get a good look. For those who may still be unclear, I'll guide you to the obvious differences:

- I've been told I look young for my age but, still, I'm not 12-years-old. I know he isn't really 12 (Probably), but I don't watch the show and don't care enough to go find out. I have a wife and, until recently, I also had a job... with a desk... where I had to wear a shirt. One that did not involve spinning back-flips on a stage.

- I do not now, or ever will, EVER, have a mohawk or fohawk or whateverthehell it's called. Not.happening. EVER! Don't even ask.

- I'm black. Well, mostly. I'd think that should be a dead giveaway right there.

- I can't dance. Not if my life depended on it. I've got two left feet that step on each other and just get a passing grade in getting me from point A to point B. That's how uncoordinated I am.

- I don't do jazz hands (or even a lone jazz hand) in my photos. One day, maybe. But not today.

So, to all you Vincent Castronovo fans out there, in your feverish stampede to get close to this young man, please take a moment to stop, take a breath, compose yourselves, mop the sweat from your brow and take a good look at the profile of the person you're about to follow.

Thank you and good day to you all. 

So... Apparently People Want To See Me Naked.

This is a screenshot I took this morning of my stats page:

This was a post I did yesterday! 1,655 views! Already.

Oy. vey!

This is the second post to get so many hits so fast and it seems this is as a result of using StumbleUpon on my posts. I started using here after I used it a few times on Sprocket Ink. In case you guys were wondering how to boost your views, this seems to work.

Anyway, as I mentioned Sprocket Ink, it's Thursday so I've got a post there today. And, no, I will not be naked there. But I've got something way better to discuss. Orgasms and the mile-high club. Would you like to know more. Of course you do! Just make sure take your seat and fasten your seat belt. And also make sure your seat back and folding trays are in their full upright position and then click here.

Thank you and enjoy your flight.

[UPDATE] I forgot to like yesterday's post. That's  been fixed.

[ANOTHER UPDATE] As of 1:20PM this post, where I only mention people wanting to see me naked, has over 2,600 views.


[YET ANOTHER UPDATE] *head bangs on desk*

I'm Going Naked Today - Don't Get Your Hopes Up.

While I'm sure the title is bound to attract a flurry of curious onlookers, let's get one thing clear from the start.

The title's totally misleading.

Before you leave though, there is a reason I gathered all... 2 of you here. My first ever guest post! The awesome Kelly from  Naked Girl In A Dress, one of my Sprocket Ink partners in crime, asked me to do a guest post on her blog and I was psyched to accept. So that's where I am today.

As I said this is my first time doing a guest post on someone else's blog so, go ahead and check it out here. There's nothing more to see on this blog today anyway.

That's it...

What? Still disappointed about the title let-down? Guys, it was just a...

Sigh! Okay. if you insist. But just this one time. Here'a a pic of me in the tub.

Ready?

GAAH! Dammit, Ma! Can't you see I'm takin' a bath here!

Gotcha! Now get on over and read my guest post.

This Enemy Mine, I Know Him Well. Soap Scum Is His Name.

I grew up a renter. My parents have never owned their own home. Still don't. As a result we - my parents, myself and my two younger sisters - have had to move from time to time. Now, a married man myself, I carry on the proud tradition of non-home ownership. I do intend to rectify this one day but that isn't the point of this story.

While I've made it clear before how much I think moving sucks, one of the things about it that bugs me more than anything else is...

The bathrooms.

Whenever I move into a new place I always have to come to terms with having to use a shower that was once regularly used by someone else. What makes this especially weird is that I don't really consider myself a germaphobe. As guys go, I'm as disgusting as any other, and proud of it. Of course, this wouldn't really be an issue it the shower was new and untouched by human gunk. But we all know how hard to find and costly virgin bathrooms are nowadays.

That last part read back kinda weird...

Anyway, The house we just moved into is - let's just say - on the more mature side. While the landlady did redo the entire kitchen, the shower was woefully as old as the rest of the place. It may have been cleaned after the previous tenants moved out but it wasn't by me and before I considered it fit for human (or at least "my") use I had to deal with it. These are the step-by-step events that took place that day:

- Getting my self physically and mentally prepared: I start with stretching. Then I do some quick shadow-boxing (Soap scum can be aggressive, you know) and give myself a good pep-talk and promise myself a drink for after I'm done.

- I assembled all the necessary items: bleach, detergent, disinfectant cleaner, bleach, bucket, scrub brush, tile and grout cleaner, bleach (I use sulfuric acid if they'd let me).

- Briefly, I give serious consideration to making a hazmat suit from garbage bags and rubber bands. Fortunately, good sense prevailed and the idea was abandoned. That and I didn't have enough rubber bands.

- When the actual cleaning process was underway, I realized that I was starting to feel a little lightheaded. This was from the high concentration of chlorine bleach I used in the cleaning mixture I concocted. After stepping out of the shower and getting some fresh air, I added some more bleach to the mixture and pressed on.

You can see why Mrs. C prefers I clean the shower. It get's done right!

Finally, I was finished. When I was done I felt like I needed a good shower. I removed my clothing (to be taken to a local crematorium for incineration, later) and stepped in, confident that the demons were exorcised. Then I saw it. There, right in front of me, in the teeniest hairline crack that was in this one tile.

Is that a tiny... brown... smudge?

Just Where Have you Been This Week? - Drawing Cartoons With My Fingertips..

We have yet again come to the close of another week and, as I've been doing for some time now, I'm going to recap the week that was:

********

- Tuesday I looked at crappy parenting, or at least one really crappy parent in particular. I gave a little teaser here to a story I did on Sprocket Ink about him.

- On Wednesday I did another installment of my Always Remember toon posts. I decided to go with gratuitous violence instead gratuitous stick-toon boobs. I think it worked.

- Finally, on Thursday, I was on Sprocket Ink again. This time I wrote about a farmer in India who went in for hernia surgery but got a hysterectomy instead. Something doesn't sound right there, does it?

If you haven't read any of these yet feel free to click on the relevant links and check 'em out. 

********

One last thing. Remember how last week I complained about my mouse not working? Well it apparently changed it's mind on Friday and is working just fine... After I did Wednesday's toon post... The one I had to draw FOUR whole panels with the touchpad to finish!

Sometimes I thing even inanimate objects just enjoy screwing with me.

Always Remember (Relationship Issue)

No matter how intense they may get.

Sometimes arguments just... end?

Really! Just like that!

I mean, no one wins, no one loses. Everything just goes back to normal.

What the hell was the freaking point!?!

If There's One Thing I've Learned From The Internet...

I surf the news on the web a lot these days and I've observed that, among other things, there are some crappy parents out there. Take my post over at Sprocket Ink today, for example.

I don't want to give too much of the story away but let's just say that it's about a man who needs to have both his driver's license and parenting license permanently revoked. While I make fun of what the guy did, I'm both amazed and thankful that there was no one hurt by this bonehead.

That's all I'll really say about it here but if you want know just what I'm talking about, you should go over to my article on Sprocket Ink. I recommend it. If you're good I'll reward you with a toon post tomorrow. I had one almost finished before my mouse died & I'm finishing it up with the touchpad. It's a lot of effort but you're worth it.

Here's a sample:

More tomorrow.