The correct answer would be:
Having to move and jury service. Both. at. the same. time.
Outstanding…
Even better than that is that they both keep dragging out. We were all ready to go yesterday when we found out our new place wasn't ready to receive us. The landlady had some workmen in to install a new kitchen and they left a huge mess. So we move today instead.
As for the jury service, I wasn’t one of the jurors selected for the current case so I have to go back next week. AGAIN! I know! Awesome, right? There’s nothing an unemployed person likes to do more than drag his ass out of bed, get dressed and head into the city to be bored out of his mind all day. This may sound familiar. That's because that is exactly how an actual job is like. Right? But, seeing as I'm not getting paid for this I'm going to go to have to conclude that I am, in fact, still unemployed.
Anyway, as easy as it would be to get into a full-on rant about all of this, I’m going to change the atmosphere a little. Being that this is my first time doing jury service, I’ve decided to share a little what I’ve learned so far:
- The building that houses all of the courtrooms is called the “Hall of Justice”. I've only been in it a few times but I can confirm with a reasonable amount of certainty that the Super Friends do not operate from this building. Very disappointing.
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| The building doesn't even look the same! source |
- Our legal system here in Trinidad and Tobago is based on the British legal system. That means the attorneys and even the judges (known as magistrates here) all wear long, flowing, black robes. All they’re missing are hoods and sickles.
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| I object! source |
- Jurors don’t get robes. Or hoods, or sickles. What the hell is up with that?! Aren't we all part of the team now? We’re helping you all do your jobs, people! How about letting us show some team spirit here?
- The attorneys who gracefully glide across the floors of the (impostor) “Hall of Justice” are infinitely more intelligent and important that that we are and ever will be. They know that and they want us to know that too.
- In the courtroom, cell phones are supposed to be turned OFF. Not on vibrate. Not even on silent. The magistrate hates when you disobey this rule. She will stop whatever is going on to express, at great length, her displeasure at the buzzing sound caused by a cell phone disrupting the courtroom’s recording equipment. She get’s really pissed if you text during proceedings.
- Finally, the magistrate – at least the one in the courtroom I’ve been sleeping in assigned to, anyway - does not have a gavel. The hell!?! I thought that one of the perks of that job. If I’m going to be judge, I want a freaking tiny hammer I can bang to shut everyone up, dammit!
I picked all of this up and I haven’t been sitting in on an actual case yet. Who knew there was so much I could learn about the judicial process?
Hey it could be worse, you could have been assigned to a murder case.
ReplyDeleteWhat an excellent idea -- I think that jurors should definitely be given hooded robes. And sickles. And possibly something that would make their breathing sound sinister, ala Darth Vadar...
ReplyDeletePearl
That's the worst. Do you also have the bailiff (police usher guy) who thinks he/she is hilarious and makes the same jokes over and over? Moving is unbearable enough, but jury duty on top of it? Ugh. What else can you pile on, having a conversation with someone who's drunk and high on coke?
ReplyDelete@ Oilfield: We'll have to see. I still haven't been selected yet.
ReplyDelete@ Pearl: Exactly! would just make the verdict reading that much more dramatic, I think.
@ Pickleope: Nope. They don't allow us to get that close to the defendants.
Oh, wow. We are moving soon (I hope!) and I would have to ditch the jury. No way could I handle all of that in the same week. BTW- how lucky are you to me moving to a place with a new kitchen!?!
ReplyDelete@ The Sweetest: I know. It's pretty sweet. But, as the new landlady described, what the old tenants left behind didn't really give her much of a choice.
ReplyDeleteYou totally deserve to wear the robe. Maybe wear your own.
ReplyDelete@ dbs: Excellent idea! I don't know if they'll allow me to take a scythe (the thing I've been calling a sickle all this time) but I can live with that.
ReplyDeleteWhat about those cute grey wigs? Don't you get to wear one of those too?
ReplyDeleteIf you show up in a superhero costume you'll probably get out of jury duty.
ReplyDeletePerhaps if you wear a hooded robe and carry a sickle they will excuse you from jury duty ; )
ReplyDelete@ Nubian: Oddly enough, no wigs. I guess that one didn't catch on here.
ReplyDelete@ AC & Empress: Both excellent suggestions. However I may either might land me in court still... only this time in the "accused" box.