New Post At Sprocket Ink... And Some Other Stuff

Have you guys noticed that every Tuesday and Thursday I post about my new posts over at Sprocket Ink? Well, it is Thursday sooo... you know.

You're not going to make me spell it out, right?

Anyway, I'm thinking of giving this place a makeover. I'm bored with the look, really. I haven't decided yet what I'm going to do but I want to have something done by the time my birthday rolls around in a week and a half.

Dammit!

I need to explain something here. Every year I tell myself that I won't take every opportunity to mention my birthday (And every year I end up doing it). It's sad, really. First comes the casual mentioning like I did just now. Then some not-so-subtle hints follow soon after that. Pretty soon, I'm just bringing it up at random moments in EVERY conversation (Even the ones I'm not involved in). In the year since then, I've started blogging, tweeting, stumbling and making extensive use of Facebook...

Heaven help us all.

Responding to Things I Haven’t Said Yet.

I noticed that at least three bloggers I follow, The Bloggess, Simple Dude and Moooooog, all talked about this "My Next Tweet" site. Well, since I wanted so desperately to fit in with the cool kids it piqued curiosity, I decided to give it a try. This resulted in several hours of hysterical laughter and zero productivity.

Totally worth it!

Some of them were too good to keep to myself so I’m sharing them, and the responses they inspires, with you:

“Randomly Talking About The Pain Conversations With boobs: An Analytical Look Into Social Interaction – So”

It’s true. I’m very fluent in Motorboatese.

“I'm in humanity again. From A Little Better Be Advised. The Diva Returning to a million pieces after”

I have to confess, Mrs. C doesn’t handle the return to humanity as well as I do.

“It's never won $10 million. A Crime Of course, the right now my cell breaks into a PSA From A Bad Day?”

Apparently my cell phone is more upset about losing that lottery than I thought.

“OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! Have Arrived. The Pain Conversations With A Vinny Met The Great New co-worker is?”

A new coworker will regale me with tales of intense… orgasms?

“I'm tweeting so... I missing? That May Cause Severe Emotional Trauma Blog Luvin' & now my normal ringtone.”

Help!!! I’m lost!!! Twitter, you’re my only hope.

“Simply Magical Hmm... An Interesting Concept. Exactly! At least I think my blog post that'll make you!”

In the future, I will be Yoda. Awesome!

“Ever notice whenever I don't recommend, though. Study shows human brain has more naps would've brought?”

It’s true. My brain naps all the time.

“I'm sooo lucky I can still find some old broad? What the..? First my inbox but it goes away the increased?”

Yeah! What the..?!

“What random thoughts go numb & Idiots & Over-Caffeinated Edition Whoa! My Pants Predator In Three Easy.”

*blushes*

“The Following is cruel & Bieber... Oh My!!! Finally! I think it's over today with Earth in the real test?”

If you ask me, someone being cruel and Bieber should be against the Geneva Convention.

“And he will get knocked down. But he will go numb & Over-Caffeinated Edition Whoa!”

If you’re knocked you down and you go numb, you’re not getting back up. Just sayin’.

 “Pondering Humanity's Downfall To The Bride of Blogging. It's Tuesday Thoughts Sometimes the title: Delete?”

Eek! The Bride of Blogging is coming! RUN!

“Where It All In My wife forwarded chain mail with a nice rack... But who's only reason for what happened?”

Sometimes, chain mail can be forgivable. Under the right circumstances, that is.

“Re: Federline: Yes. Please Be Afraid, Very Afraid. Douchebag of those. All In My Closet Tried to study?”

Federline, douchebag and a warning to be very afraid… No wonder everyone’s hiding in my closet!

“I'm Ready! Check it was a Taurus anymore?! What a great time to stage a Tuesday, no less?”

I think I’ll stage a Tuesday on a Wednesday just to throw everyone off.

“Returning to the designer handbag section. Unanswered Questions Only Exception HQ] - Guess that bug!”

Wait! Guess that bug???

“NOOOOO!!! Don't tell anyone, but...”

WHAT?! What’s the rest of the message? The suspense is killing me.

“Whoa! My next door neighbors got mad ninja skillz... It's not as planned.”

Apparently I wasn’t expecting he’d be a ninja. I’ll have to rethink my strategy.

“Gotta stop using my brain's running on Vista. Damn right! I just looking at everyone else.”

Now, that actually explains a lot.

“Damn right! I never... you know where you expressed for the increased efficiency caused by Rebecca Black.”

I can agree with this. When I saw that “Friday” video, I lost all desire to watch YouTube & went right back to work.

“Unusual Outcomes Where It isn't too late to puke due to clutter my latest article!”

Well… It does say side effects may include nausea under my banner, right?

“Thanks. Just switched my brain's running on today.”

Woohoo! I may actually get things done.

“In My Closet Tried to be blushing right now. Doesn't get much weirder than that.”

Nope, it doesn’t.

“Sometimes Life Forces You Shouldnt Rob Banks - Airline On Good morning. Thought I was a great pumpkin!”

Agreed! If you think you’re a great pumpkin, you should leave the bank/airline robbing for another day.

You know? I may actually tweet some of these in the future.

In Memoriam

It’s Tuesday, so you know what that means. I’ve got a new post up at Sprocket Ink. Now head on over and check it – and all the other great posts that are there – out. Aside from that I’m saying goodbye to an old friend:

Today, we gather to celebrate the passing of ASUS EeePC900. ASUS, to his friends.

I remember, in his all of three years on this Earth, he served his purpose with seldom a complaint or crash. In fact, his first ever “Blue Screen of Death” incident was only less than five months ago. I only wish I could have recognized this as the first sign of his failing health earlier.

ASUS stood the test and trials of time (And a sometimes over-demanding user), having not once, but twice, to have his operating system reinstalled due to virus attacks. Still, he served faithfully.

Sure, he was slow to respond at times, but for a netbook of his limited capacity, he performed his duty admirably.

He was the witness of many firsts in my life. For example: My first steps into the world of Azeroth when I opened my WoW account as well as my adventures (Up until last week Tuesday) in the world of blogging, to name a few.

Good times…

ASUS leaves behind one grateful user to mourn his passing.

Though your successor is newer and faster, you shall not be forgotten.

Goodbye, dear friend.

Okay, now head on over to Sprocket Ink for something more uplifting. ASUS would want you to.

Always Remember (Motivational Issue)

Every now and then, life will give you lemons...

But it’s up to you what you do with them.

Sometimes Life Forces You To Slow Down

THURSDAY

6:30AM – (A young couple gets ready for work)

Her: Oh, I just remembered hearing about the water being shut off in the area for about 24 hours.

Him: When?

Her: I can’t remember hearing when.

Him: Hmph! That's helpful. Anyway, they don’t normally make those announcements more than a day in advance.

Her: Do we have enough filled up in case?

Him: No. We need to fill up.

Her: We can’t do that now. We’ll be late for work.

Him: I know! (Rolling his eyes) Anyway, the landlord has two huge water tanks in back. We should be okay. We probably won’t even have to use our reserves.

Her: Okay.

********

Just after 1:00PM – He is tired. He has been burning the candle at both ends these days and now he realizes he can’t even see straight. As he chugs his fourth cup of coffee he tries not to sound like a babbling idiot when he explains procedures to the trainee in his department.

4:30PM – He manages to survive and heads home. He shuffles up the stairs to his apartment and enters.

Something is off. He can’t place his finger on it but he’s too tired to care. He proceeds towards the bathroom, relieves himself and flushes. This is when he realizes that the tank isn’t refilling. His eyes widen. He heads back down the hall and sticks his head back into the living room. He now knows what it was that he sensed earlier.

It was the silence. What was missing was the familiar thump, thump, thump of the leaky kitchen faucet he'd been getting around to fixing one day.

"Shit!" 

FRIDAY

10:00AM – Mrs. C is at work. We decided the night before that she would use what was left of our water so that she could not miss any of her training for her transfer to day-shift. I sit at my netbook (the one that’s now down for repairs) writing this post. I keep the electric fan close, on high and directly pointed at me because, after not having bathed since yesterday morning, unnecessary sweating must be avoided. It seems that we were already running on the tank reserves even before our conversation yesterday morning and the 24 hours the water company said it would take was actually more of a suggestion. If nothing else, the forced day off from work was much needed.

When The Cats Are Away.

There isn't much going on here today. I mean literally. Bossman and Bosslady have flown out for the long weekend and left us up to our own devices. Added to that is the fact that a few staff members have used a day from their vacation time to get the day off. It's actually pretty quite today.

In other news, it's Thursday so I'm posting over at Sprocket Ink again. Now be good and head on over and check it out. While you're there, feel free to have a look around if you haven't gotten your feet too wet over there yet. Go on! Don't be shy. We don't bite.

Or maybe we do...

Anyway, it's my turn at the piñata (which looks remarkably like Bossman. Props to the guys in Tech!). Head on over to Sprocket Ink.

Had A Bad Day Again.

This one's going to be short & sweet (Not really).

First, the good news. I'm posting over Sprocket Ink today. Lots of good stuff going on over there. Go check it out.

Now, the not so good news. I'm going to gripe just a little because, right now, I'm using one of my school's signature line of wols model computers. This is because currently without laptop. Around lunchtime today it just refused to boot-up. Unlike last week's scare, though, this time isn't due to a faulty power cable.

Did I mention that I had a final assignment for one of my classes due today and it was on said laptop?

No?

How about the fact that I finished it only late last night and neglected to save a backup copy? Didn't mention that either, did I?

Otherwise, I'm good (Thanks for asking). I refuse to let it get to me. I'm hoping for an extension because there is no way I can do the entire thing over from scratch.

Now head over to Sprocket Ink (See? I even linked it twice for you) and see me (and my ailing ASUS) when we were both in a better mood.

Always Remember

They are definitely dangerous when they are alone.

But you don't stand a chance when women team up.

This has been a PSA from Vinny C.

Community Service

Click here.

Some Things Are Worth The Risk

I was thirteen. I remember standing in the chest-high water, cold, shivering. Just about four or five feet in front of me, my friends from school were laughing and playing. They didn't pay attention to me. I wasn't a part of the game.

I watched them. A small amount of anger welled up inside. Were they really my friends? Did they really care? If the situation were reversed, I would have at least acknowledged that they were there. I'm sure of it. I wanted to join in but I was afraid.

My toes gripped the steep edge of the slope. I imagined a bottomless precipice sliding down into eternity. And I also imagined my body being as heavy as a rock. I saw myself sinking. Slowly. Not like a rock at all. Just heavy enough to drift deeper and deeper. Fighting for breath as I saw the shimmering light of the water's surface move further and further away.

NO!!!

I'm being stupid. This was a small pool. Only seven feet deep. I took the classes. I know what to do. I can do this!

But the last time...

Forget the last time! That was more than a year ago. I didn't drown. I came out okay.

Only because that kid handed me a board. If he didn't have two...

"Vinny!" Someone calls out to me from the deep side of the pool.

I take a long, slow breath and exhale...

Screw it! I'm tired of being afraid.

I launch out...

********

My take on this week's prompt from Studio 30 Plus: RISK.

Follow my blog with bloglovin

I'm having some laptop issues (read as: I think it's dead). I'm stealthily (not so much) using my desktop here at work to say two quick things:

1. I'm on bloglovin. Why? I'm not too sure. Seemed like a good idea at the time. Buuuut if you want to stalk me there too... I think I'd be down for that.

2. It's Tuesday, so you can go on over to Sprocket Ink to find an actual post from me there.

Shoot! Bossman's coming.

I'm out.

Study Time

I had to study the other night and decided to avail myself of the school library. Normally, when I get there I like to find a nice, quiet desk in the corner where I can totally get into my "zone" uninterrupted but that hasn't been possible of late with the ever growing number of students the school has been taking in. That night was no exception. I checked all my favorite spots first and they were all taken. I eventually had to settle on one of the shared desks on the open floor.


I wasn't elated, but, whatever, it  wasn't enough to dissuade me. I sat down. Set out my books I took from the shelves, set up my netbook and hunkered down for some serious study time.


Then he came in.

source

Right here I'm going to make one thing clear. I have absolutely nothing against overweight people. I, myself, being somewhat-er-chubby would be a total hypocrite if I did express any sort of negative sentiment towards them. But this individual, in particular, I must admit, I had several problems with.

First was the wheezing: I’m talking gasping as if it’s your last breath before all goes dark, wheezing. Should I contact someone? Was there any next of kin I should notify? I don’t know if he ran down the stairs from the fourth floor or he had just completed a marathon but, whatever he was doing, this man was seriously out of breath. This, I had to endure for about fifteen minutes while he was sitting next to me.

Second was the talking: Not to me. Two female students he was working on a group project with came in soon after he did. At first they discussed their project. Soon, though, the conversation shifted to life, love, past mistakes and a whole bunch of other bullshit I really did not need to be trying to ignore at the time. A few disapproving glances in their direction only bought me several seconds of peace each time.

This eventually ended when his companions left. FINALLY! He was quite. He hunched over his laptop – no wheezing, no talking – just sweet silence. I focused on the task at hand. Studying! That was my mission. Nothing more would deter me.

Wait! Is he... Is he snoring? Holy crap! He’s asleep. And he’s freakin’ snoring! And, what a snore! I mean, I hate to admit it but this was impressive. At this point my head hit the desk. The loud thud created by that was drowned out by the jackhammer being worked right next to me.

I lift up my head and contemplate my options. The library is still full. I can’t see any free seats to move over to. I notice that, by now, others have begun to notice him too. I see them glance over and shift uncomfortably in their seats. A few smile and snicker. Yeah! Real funny! How about we trade seats? No, really. Anybody?

Please?

“Poke him.” One of the librarians mouths to me from her desk across the room. She gestures a poking action with her hand.

“Nuh-uh,” I mouth back, nodding, “He’ll eat me!!!”

“POKE!HIM!” she mouths again, her lip movements and gestures more pronounced.

I look over to my right and size him up. After a few seconds, I reach out and gently poke him in the side. He snorts awake and looks around, dazed.

“Dude,” I whisper to him, “You’re snoring.”

“I fell asleep? Sorry.” He rubs his eyes and straightens up.

Now, I’ve been in similar situations where I’ve fallen asleep in public. Of course, I’ve never been as vocal about it as he was. Normally, the initial embarrassment of being caught in such a state is enough to keep me awake for some time, usually throughout the duration of whatever I was enduring and...

HO.LY.FREAKIN.CRAP! He’s snoring again!!!

I don’t bother to wait for anyone else’s suggestion this time. I poke him again. Not as gently this time, either.

“Shit! Sorry. I didn’t realize how tired I was. You know what? This is a sign that I should probably just go home.”

(No shit! Really?) “It’s probably for the best.” I agree.

He packs his stuff and leaves. About twenty minutes later, the librarian announces that the library is about to close. I chalk this one up as a defeat and begin to pack.

This Is A Recording

Hello. You have reached AVCI.

No one is available at present.

To reach Vinny C, please press [ONE]

For all other enquiries, please press [TWO]

(But you’ll probably get mad if you do)

Thank you for choosing AVCI.

(Creating WTF moments since 2010)

Goodbye.

Attention! Please Be Advised.

May I have your attention, please?

Word has been received that unusual stick-figure activity has been observed on the premises of Sprocket Ink.

Though no large breasts have been sighted, there have reports of gratuitous violent activity.

Please refer to the following link for more information.

Click here for more.

Thank you.

The Struggle

WARNING!!! This one's not for those who believe that people shouldn't have or express beliefs. If the mere mention (And believe me, the mentioning is mere) of one's personal beliefs fills you with indignation, please skip this one and wait till the next post comes out. Oh, and it's a kinda boring and rambling too. Just so you know:

We all have that one thing that haunts us. That aspect of our personalities we dread. It fills us with self-loathing and self-doubt. It makes us question ourselves. It derails us and distracts us from our goals. It causes us to go into a dark, desolate place within ourselves. If you say you don't then you're either lying or not human.

For some it can be fueled from something external. An addiction to something like smoking, alcohol, drugs, food, pornography, sex. Sometimes, it isn't external at all but from something within. Those are hard to define and sometimes even harder to fight. Either way, it's something we try to keep on a short leash not just because, deep down inside, we believe it is wrong, but because once we allow ourselves to come near that vice again we KNOW we'll just end up slipping down a steep slope that would be hard to claw our way back from.

I don't really know what to call mine. Lack of motivation, indiscipline I've never been able to place my finger on it. All I know is that it's effects have proven to be very destructive in my life in the past. I lose focus, make mistakes or become distracted. I procrastinate or make excuses. Nothing gets done. I don't move forward. I don't follow through or stay the course. It doesn't seem like much compared to other people's problems but this is my foe. I fight against this dark monster within myself constantly. Over the years, I've come to know his tricks.

But these enemies know us just as well. They know when to strike. They attack when defenses our are down. They don't forcibly try to take over. Instead, they sneak in subtly. They say just the right things to lure you into giving in to them. When things are going wrong and problems arise, they make their move. They can make us feel like we're returning to a safe familiar place or like we're taking something back for ourselves or getting revenge. Just as bad is when things are going too well, there they are. Only now they tell us it's okay to indulge. We're earned it. They'll say whatever we need to hear to give in.

That's how the devil works, right?

If you know me, then you're still reading after that last line. Like I said when I first showed up here almost seven months ago, I'm not here to preach any sermons to anyone. That's never been what this blog was about. I'm not in a position to tell you what to do with your lives or judge you. I'm just trying to find my own way through this mess just like you guys.

Good? Good!

That out of the way, I am a christian and, as such I can't help but see this similarity. You may or may not be a believer in such things but this is exactly what I've been taught. What I believe. If it's more comfortable to avoid any religious connotations, fine. But the simple fact remains that, when we do give in, we aren't really taking anything back. If anything, we lose more than we gain. And no matter who we may hurt in the process (Intentionally or otherwise), we always end up doing the most damage to ourselves.

However one chooses to deal with (Let's call it) one's personal devil, be it prayer, therapy, blogging, all/none of the above, there is one thing that I've learned. The worst mistake you can make is to forget they're there or underestimate them. No matter how far you fight them back, they're always there. Always waiting for the next opportunity to strike. You always have to fight them off.

As for me, I'll do what I have to to keep fighting mine.

I REALLY Wish This Was An April Fools Day Prank

I'm no stranger to the art of bullshitting. In fact, as I have mentioned before, in my past job I was well trained in the art. As such, I can spot bullshit, even as it is being produced, a mile away. But this time I was seriously thrown for a loop.

Remember the situation going on where I work that I was talking about? I even touched on it yesterday. Well, at the end of the day yesterday I was called into the long awaited evaluation to determine my future with the company. As it turns out I don't have one. I was fired.

No shit! Really!

Sorta.

Now to properly explain what exactly happened, I'll relay the conversation I had with Bossman yesterday afternoon. Only, I'll relay it as it was actually said and without the mutual bullshit that filled the entire discussion.

Bossman: Vinny, you're fired.
Me: Yeah. I knew that was coming. Okay, so what are you not telling me?
Bossman: We need a guinea-pig for an experimental position in the company. Past attempts sucked ass. It's on contract and you won't be permanent unless you can kiss some serious ass.
Me: So it's this or the street?
Bossman: Pretty much, yeah.

Me: 'K. What's the deal?

Bossman: Technically, this is a higher level position than you hold right now, but we'll call you a "trainee" so we don't have to increase your salary. There will be no one to train you and we can kick your ass out at any time.

Me: What the hell? It's a paycheck.

Bossman: You need a car for this job. Have one?

Me: Dude, I don't even have my license.

Bossman: Well... you really do need it but... whatever! Still want it?

Me: Whatever.

Bossman: Alright. Your replacement has already been chosen and is starting on Monday. (So efficient!) While you're "training" *snicker* you can show her what needs to be done.

Me: Whatev.

Let's recap, shall we? I was fired. Then I was... promoted?

I only have one thing to say at this point. Something you don't often find me saying:

What.the.fuck?!

One other thing also comes to mind:

Vodka!