Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Responding to Things I Haven’t Said Yet.

I noticed that at least three bloggers I follow, The Bloggess, Simple Dude and Moooooog, all talked about this "My Next Tweet" site. Well, since I wanted so desperately to fit in with the cool kids it piqued curiosity, I decided to give it a try. This resulted in several hours of hysterical laughter and zero productivity.

Totally worth it!

Some of them were too good to keep to myself so I’m sharing them, and the responses they inspires, with you:

“Randomly Talking About The Pain Conversations With boobs: An Analytical Look Into Social Interaction – So”
It’s true. I’m very fluent in Motorboatese.

“I'm in humanity again. From A Little Better Be Advised. The Diva Returning to a million pieces after”
I have to confess, Mrs. C doesn’t handle the return to humanity as well as I do.

“It's never won $10 million. A Crime Of course, the right now my cell breaks into a PSA From A Bad Day?”
Apparently my cell phone is more upset about losing that lottery than I thought.

“OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! Have Arrived. The Pain Conversations With A Vinny Met The Great New co-worker is?”
A new coworker will regale me with tales of intense… orgasms?

“I'm tweeting so... I missing? That May Cause Severe Emotional Trauma Blog Luvin' & now my normal ringtone.”
Help!!! I’m lost!!! Twitter, you’re my only hope.

“Simply Magical Hmm... An Interesting Concept. Exactly! At least I think my blog post that'll make you!”
In the future, I will be Yoda. Awesome!

“Ever notice whenever I don't recommend, though. Study shows human brain has more naps would've brought?”
It’s true. My brain naps all the time.

“I'm sooo lucky I can still find some old broad? What the..? First my inbox but it goes away the increased?”
Yeah! What the..?!

“What random thoughts go numb & Idiots & Over-Caffeinated Edition Whoa! My Pants Predator In Three Easy.”

“The Following is cruel & Bieber... Oh My!!! Finally! I think it's over today with Earth in the real test?”
If you ask me, someone being cruel and Bieber should be against the Geneva Convention.

“And he will get knocked down. But he will go numb & Over-Caffeinated Edition Whoa!”
If you’re knocked you down and you go numb, you’re not getting back up. Just sayin’.

 “Pondering Humanity's Downfall To The Bride of Blogging. It's Tuesday Thoughts Sometimes the title: Delete?”
Eek! The Bride of Blogging is coming! RUN!

“Where It All In My wife forwarded chain mail with a nice rack... But who's only reason for what happened?”
Sometimes, chain mail can be forgivable. Under the right circumstances, that is.

“Re: Federline: Yes. Please Be Afraid, Very Afraid. Douchebag of those. All In My Closet Tried to study?”
Federline, douchebag and a warning to be very afraid… No wonder everyone’s hiding in my closet!

“I'm Ready! Check it was a Taurus anymore?! What a great time to stage a Tuesday, no less?”
I think I’ll stage a Tuesday on a Wednesday just to throw everyone off.

“Returning to the designer handbag section. Unanswered Questions Only Exception HQ] - Guess that bug!”
Wait! Guess that bug???

“NOOOOO!!! Don't tell anyone, but...”
WHAT?! What’s the rest of the message? The suspense is killing me.

“Whoa! My next door neighbors got mad ninja skillz... It's not as planned.”
Apparently I wasn’t expecting he’d be a ninja. I’ll have to rethink my strategy.

“Gotta stop using my brain's running on Vista. Damn right! I just looking at everyone else.”
Now, that actually explains a lot.

“Damn right! I never... you know where you expressed for the increased efficiency caused by Rebecca Black.”
I can agree with this. When I saw that “Friday” video, I lost all desire to watch YouTube & went right back to work.

“Unusual Outcomes Where It isn't too late to puke due to clutter my latest article!”
Well… It does say side effects may include nausea under my banner, right?

“Thanks. Just switched my brain's running on today.”
Woohoo! I may actually get things done.

“In My Closet Tried to be blushing right now. Doesn't get much weirder than that.”
Nope, it doesn’t.

“Sometimes Life Forces You Shouldnt Rob Banks - Airline On Good morning. Thought I was a great pumpkin!”
Agreed! If you think you’re a great pumpkin, you should leave the bank/airline robbing for another day.

You know? I may actually tweet some of these in the future.


  1. That kind of gave me a headache, but also made me giggle a little so I am going with "win"

  2. Maybe if you came out of the closet, you wouldn't be blushing.

    or...would you?

    *dun dun dunnnnn

  3. Classic. You had far better luck with that game than I did. Everything was completely nonsensical ...and not a single word about vodka, celebutards or big ding dongs...

  4. @ Random Girl: Works for me.

    @ Oilfield: That was just the short list. Let's just say "pants predator" came up too many times for comfort.

    @ Moooooog: Well... I... You see it isn't like that. It's just cosy in there, that's all. Honest!

    @ AC: It's buried next to my old laptop.

    @ Empress: Now that is a gyp. I would have sworn at least the ding-dong part would've made the cut.

  5. Hahaha... that shit is pretty great! I like the "That May Cause Severe Emotional Trauma Blog Luvin' & now my normal ringtone.”

    I never thought to make my ringtone say something like: this may cause severe emotional trauma! But now I'm considering it :-)

  6. @ Dr. Cynicism: As an alternative, having Rebecca Black's "Friday" as a ringtone may also be used to cause severe emotional trauma.


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