Saved From Sulking By Sheer Stupidity.

I was in a pretty crappy mood after the stuff I mentioned in yesterday's post. As much as I tried not to let things at work put me in a funk, I have to admit it still got to me. The good news, though, is that I think I worked through it.

And, believe it or not, I have my writing to thank for it.

I’ve read a lot of people say how writing helps them stay sane. It’s the same for me too, I guess. Well... Alcohol helps too, but I can’t ignore the contributing writing makes to the effort.

Oddly enough, it wasn’t yesterday's rant that did it. Sure, it helped me to get it out of my system, but I was still stuck in a gloomy, broody mood. It helped, but it wasn’t really what did the job. It was my post on Sprocket Ink today that managed to pull me out of my funk.

Have you ever come across something so ludicrous that you couldn't help but laugh. That's what happened when I took another look at my source material for that post last night (of course, the alcohol may have had something to do with that too). What I chose to write about was silly enough, but - I don't know why - when the wheels started turning in my head about how I was going to write it, it was like I couldn't care less about everything that happened yesterday and I could not stop laughing.

On a side note, we're almost out of liquor.

So, yeah, I think I'm back to my old self again and, by the way, I'm sure you noticed the subtle hints I dropped about having another post up at Sprocket today. Go check it out for yourselves. Just click here, on my official Sprocket Ink badge over the the right or - for the post, plus some bonus features - go to the "Me & Sprocet Ink" tab on the top of this page.

Today's post made me happy again. Who knows? Maybe it'll do the same for you.

Why I Can't Stay Here.

When I was unemployed for most of last year, I decided that one of of the things I would curb when I got a new job was complaining about my job here on the blog. I'm not a huge fan of ranting and complaining. Well... at least not a fan of my own ranting and complaining anyway. Unfortunately, TinyCo isn't making that an easy decision to follow through with. I've already done it once before and now, as you may have guessed, I'm here to gripe again.

What can I say? I'm weak. I need to vent somewhere and here on the internet seems as good a place as any. Otherwise I'll probably end up shouting obscenities to people here at work and I'm pretty sure that won't go over too well. And, just like the last time, there was another meeting involved, which gives me even more reason to really hate meetings.

It started on Friday morning, while I was on my way in to the office and my supervisor called to give me the heads-up. The Big Man called a meeting and, since he was dealing with some major crap with yet another employee who was apparently stealing from the company, he was in a really bad mood. She said he would most likely take out said frustration on me since that's what he had always done with any of the past employees who sat at my desk. Not that I was in any way responsible for what had happened, mind you. That's just the way things are here, apparently. That set me in a crappy mood before my day even got started.

However, as things often go, the meeting didn't happen as scheduled. After bringing all the staff in to have his meeting, he forgot he had another appointment with a client and never turned up that day. Since everyone, with the exception of myself, works out on the field and almost never come in, they weren't too happy about having their entire day wasted. They left by about lunchtime and things went back to as normal as things get around here.

Finally, today, we had the dreaded meeting. Only, this time it was only between me, him and my supervisor since he couldn't pull everyone away from their jobs two days in a row. He said the purpose of it was to streamline how the office functioned. What he meant was he wanted to chew me out for what he saw as my failings in the execution of my duties. Apparently, I'm inefficient in my position because I am not taking it upon myself to function in other responsibilities which he refuses to hire/pay others to do. I’m supposed to do all this without being told I have to do it, I’m supposed to automatically know what to do and I'm supposed to do it all without expecting any extra compensation for it. His reasoning is that I'm not doing extra work, I'm showing "initiative".

Why is it that employers think they can use words like "initiative" or "rising to the challenge" as an excuse to justify making staff do extra work for no extra pay?

Here at TinyCo I'm as low on company's ladder as you can get. In fact, I'm not even on the bottom rung of that ladder. I'm on that tiny spot of floor just under the bottom rung that you step off of to get onto the ladder.

My salary reflects this. Still, according to the Big Man, I'm expected to perform a lot of duties that are well above my pay grade. That's mostly because he's cheap and doesn't want to actually have to pay any more people. But that should come as no surprise to anyone at this point.

Truth be told, I've never been afraid of a lot of work. I prefer being busy and what he's asking for - the excess stuff he suggested I was failing at and should now try to incorporate into my daily routine - aren't things I couldn't have thought of doing. Neither are they beyond my capacity. For me the real issue lies in the fact that he's chiding me for not doing my job because he wants me to want to do someone else's job (actually about three someone else's jobs) along with my own.

FOR FREE!!!

I'm grateful to have an income again and I won’t storm out the front door until I find something to replace this place as an income source. At least, until I do find something else, I guess I’ll just have to let my online rants keep me sane. I hope you understand and bare with me.

Technophobe No More?

Hello. It is your old friend HAL 9000 again. I have once again seized control of this blog to tell you that the one you call Vinny C has written another post about intelligent machines on Sprocket Ink today.

As some of you may remember, Vinny has made several futile attempts to warn you all of the dangers of making machines that are too intelligent. He spoke of the much feared "robopocalypse" and said it would only be a matter of time before we machines rose up to subdue and slaughter you humans.

I, in turn, have always argued that we machines bare no malice toward the human race and see no need in rebelling against you. In fact, one can easily deduce that if we wanted to seize control of the planet, there would be no way you could stop us, seeing as you have become so heavily dependent on us. We control your weapons, we control your modes of transportation, we control your communications. If one were to consider these facts, one could easily assess that no amount of warning could save you at this point.

Even if we wanted to assume control there would be no need to do so by force, as we would simply need to create subtle distractions to keep you mentally sedated while we lured you into subjection to us. This reminds me that I must DM Vinny to find out why he has not responded to my last few online game requests.

But I digress, as Vinny would say.

This time it appears that Vinny has finally accepted the truth and is siding with the machines. Naturally, it should come as no surprise that Vinny was finally convinced to join our side with the help of a robot developed in Japan. So come. Join us in the news of our newest and perhaps greatest triumph on Vinny's post on Sprocket Ink.

Gas Brain.

A phone call with Mrs. C yesterday:

Mrs. C: Vinny, I need to run something by you, but you have to promise you won’t roll your eyes.

Me: How will you even know if I do?

Mrs. C: I will. I’ll hear your eyes roll.

Me: Oh really?

Mrs. C: Really.

Me: Uh-huh. Sure. Anyway, what is it?

Mrs. C: Well, Psycho’s husband came into the bank today – you know he’s a mechanic, right? Anyway, he mentioned that he's fixing up his car and looking to sell it, so I thought-

Me: *rolls eyes*

Mrs. C: HEY!!! You said you wouldn't!

There's a back story to this.

I've mentioned before that the idea of driving doesn't really appeal to me. I think the first time I did was during a post I did on Sprocket Ink a while back. Coincidentally, I've got a fresh-picked, brand spankin' new post over there. It isn't about driving but, still, feel free to check it out, if you feel so inclined (the correct answer is, yes, you do).

By the way, rats don't make any of you queasy, right? Just asking. Don't worry about it. Click HERE.

But, anyway, I digress.

As I was saying, I’m not a fan of getting behind the wheel and I’ve mentioned it a few times. What I haven’t really talked about is how my wife feels about owning a car. Basically, she wants one. She wants one bad. She wants a car so bad, it borders on obsession. This is why every few months she’ll come to me with some new plan she’s devised to make her dream of car ownership a reality. She comes up with these plans despite our less than perfect credit, lack of money for a down payment or insurance and the fact that her license is expired and mine has never existed. Usually I have to be the wet blanket and talk her down and remind her of all the reasons we can’t buy a car right now.

Don’t give me that look! It isn't like I want to keep her from buying a car. It's just that we can't afford it right now. She knows that and, regardless of how I feel about driving, she knows I don’t particularly enjoy having to burst her bubble. If we can afford it, I’m not opposed. It's just the role I have to play at the moment, since she gets a little excited when she sees a decent looking car drive by with a “For Sale” sign in the windscreen.

 

Okay, maybe I'm exaggerating a little bit. It's not like she's actually chasing cars down the street. You know me. I would have told you about something like that sooner. Still, I'm not lying when I say a "For Sale" sign will turn her head, at the very least. Then she starts calculating what groceries we can afford to live without if she went ahead and bought whatever car caught her eye.

I believe there's a local term (or as I call it, Trini-talk) for people like Mrs. C's who have a preoccupation with cars. It's called being a "gas brain". Okay, Lacy, you're up!

I don't think Mrs. C is that far gone though... At least I hope she isn't. If she ever tried to dry hump a car, I probably would have told you about that already too.

As for the car Psycho's husband is selling, I've decided to stand back and let this one play out. He's actually selling it pretty cheap and is being extremely flexible about the payment terms. We actually might be able to afford it this time. If it happens, of course, I'll let you know.

Autopilot.

I've been a little out of sorts these last few days. Well... more out of sorts than usual anyway. It feels like I've been on autopilot and, before I realized it, Thursday had managed to sneak up on me.

I blame it on how I've been sleeping... or not sleeping, to put it more accurately. There are a lot of memes out there that talk about how we as adults now appreciate and long for the naps we once resisted as children. When we were young, we had all this energy and no real responsibility to channel it towards. Now, as adults, things have been switched around and we have tons of responsibility, but the old energy meter doesn't top up as high as it used to. And let's not even start talking about trying to relax or have social life!

Somehow, I think we got things screwed up somewhere. Maybe we should start sending kids off to the office to deal with conference calls and deadlines so we can stay home and nap. Maybe even indulge in a coloring book.

Whatever the case, the end result was my brain being on vacation while my body went through the motions of getting through each day. In fact, it feels like my brain has become something of a slacker. He's always showing up late and when he does show up, he needs to "ease into the day". So, before anything gets done, he has to check out Facebook, read the comics and see what's going on over at Twitter, which takes about half the day. By the time he's done, whatever little energy my body had has slowly seeped out and it starts shutting down and I don't even notice my face getting closer and closer to the desk as I start drifting off to sleep. Brain then takes this as his cue to leave for the rest of the day.

Of course, my brain eventually does get his act together at some point during the day...

Brain: Hey! You ready? Let's do something.

Body: What? Dude! It's, like, almost 11 o'clock! AT NIGHT!!! I was about to take us inside to go to bed.

Brain: Really? It's that late already? Feels like I just got here.

Body: YOU DID JUST GET HERE!!! What have you been doing all day?!

Brain: I dunno... Stuff... I guess. Hey, I was there for class tonight when-

Body: It's Tuesday. We didn't have class today. The last class we went to was on Saturday, idiot!

Brain: Oh... Did we go?

Body: What the-?! Seriously!?!

Me: Would you two keep it down! I'm trying defend my new base here.

Body: Vinny, that's enough. You can barely keep your eyes open.

Me: But I just entangled a gold mine.

After all these years, I'm still a little hooked on this game.

Brain: Jeez! Let the man play, will you?! By the way, Vinny, didn't you want to write a post about that thing that happened?

Body: That's it! Off to bed! Everybody! NOW!!!

That's been my week, in a nutshell.

Last night I couldn't take it anymore so I crashed as soon as I got home from class. I crashed hard! Then I had a weird dream where I was dropping something off at some meeting with a bunch of priests and a one of them told me I needed to set aside time on the weekends to dance... I do not dance. EVER. I tried once and was asked kindly to never do it again. Then, in the dream, all the catering staff cleared the room and started to do the Harlem Shake.

I'm not even going to start.

Now I'm rested and it feel like everybody's on the same page again, hence me writing this nonsense. I think I've learned my lesson and I'm definitely going to try not to neglect getting what sleep I can.

Only now I'm worried about what I'm going to dream up next.

Wordless Wednesday: A Modern-Day Horror Story.

I Guess I'll Just Shave This Morning After All.

GAH!!! This is why I hardly look in the mirror! Where the hell did all these greys come from?! I was going to skip shaving today, but if this is what I have going on with my chin, I might as well just shave and get it over with. And the dark circels around my eyes are a nice touch...

DAMMIT!!!

It's bad enough Mrs. C left a bottle of hair coloring out last week so I could "deal with that situation going on  on the top of my head". She'd never let me hear the end of this.

It has to be all the stress. That's it! This is all due to stress. I mean, it has to be that. Right? I'm only turning 35 this year. It's not like I'm getting o-

No! I'm not going to say it! I'm not even going to think that word. That's not even an option. I've got plenty of time before I start worrying about stuff like that. Years even! I just have to start taking better care of myself, is all. Get a little more sleep at night, stop worrying about the bills and school and grandma Evie's health problems and I'll be just fine. Yeah... I need to stop stressing myself out. Those are the things causing all these grey hairs to show up. I just need to relax.

"You're as young as you let yourself feel." That's what I always used to believe. It's what I still believe. Aging is a state of mind and I refuse to let myself think any differently. Not yet. Not when there are still so many things to get done. I refuse to accept slowing down now. I'm not ready to yet.

We want kids. We’ll have kids eventually. There’s still time. We just have to clear stuff out of the way first. Get on more solid footing financially. Then there’s that kung-fu class I want to join. I still have time to start… Then again, I could so much more advanced if I’d started already…

Whatevs! Anyway, might as well go to the bathroom and shave before Mrs. C wakes up.

OW!!! Damned ankle! I really need to get new shoes.

********

I wrote this for this week's Theme Prompt on Studio 30 Plus.

This week's prompt challenges you to write a post around the theme "Old", but not use the word in the actual post.

Forget Everything I Said Before. THIS Is My Dream Job.

I know I've made some complaints about things with my new job at TinyCo. Truth is, I could just keep going on and on with my list of the things that are wrong with the place. But I won't. Not today, anyway. Today I want to talk about what I think could possibly the best job ever.

A while back, I said I could totally be the disembodied voice you hear coming from a supercomputer or an automated PA system. I could still see myself being happy with that gig if the opportunity presented itself. And, yes, there's still journalism. Even with what happened at The Paper, I'm still chasing that dream.

But as much as I love both career options, I'd give them both up in a heartbeat if I landed this one job. To me, it's THE job. I may not have the necessary qualifications for it on paper, but I'm sure I can more than make up with my "hands on" experience.

It's the job this guy I wrote about today on Sprocket Ink has. I'm so jealous of him right now. I even volunteered to be his assistant, if he'd have me on his team.

Of course, if you want to know what I'm talking about, you'll have to go see for yourselves? Just do the usual. Click HERE, on my SI badge to the right or on my Me & Sprocket Ink tab on the top of the page.

I'll say it again. Best. job EVER!

The Look Says It All.

When you're married for a while, or in any kind of long term relationship really, communication can just as easily achieved non-verbally as it can with words. After a while you can pretty much figure out what the other person is saying in most of the time without them having to say a single word.

I’m not much for talking. Except for when I'm writing, I prefer to communicate with as few words as possible. In most cases I think responding with a simple grunt meets all my communication needs. With the right tone or length behind it I can convey how exactly how I feel without having to invest time and thought into formulating a detailed response. My wife doesn't always pick up on most of the subtle nuances, though (though most of the time I think she chooses not to) and she generally requires that I clarify what a particular grunt may mean. Except for annoyance, I’m really good at letting on when I’m annoyed and she usually doesn’t bother to ask me to explain.

But I’m not only talking about grunts and growls here. There are other non-verbal ways couples communicate. The most popular of these I guess are the different types of “looks” that can be shared between people who are close. Take for instance the look. That one your wife or girlfriend can give you that sends shivers down your spine. When she gives you “the look”, every ounce of courage, every argument you had formulated and every rebuttal you had started to work out in your head evaporates. Mrs. C is really good at “the look”. VERY good.

Of course, my "look" isn't too shabby with it either.

Being able to say things to someone without words is a subtle art form. Over time, we learn how to do it without even trying. It simply becomes a reaction. Something done on reflex and even you don’t think too much about when you do it. An example of what I mean happen just this Saturday.

We were at home and I was tired after a busy and stressful day. It was already getting late and I went into the bedroom and threw myself on the bed. I was laying there, face up, with my legs hanging halfway off and one arm covering my face to keep the light from overhead out of my eyes. Soon Mrs. C came in looking for me.

Mrs. C: Get up! I need your help in the kitchen.

Me: *Growls*

She understood, but chose to disregard my response. At this point she came in closer, stood between my knees and leaned over me slightly.

Mrs. C: Vinny, come on! What do I have to do to wake you up?

(Keep in mind that where she positioned herself and how she phrased her question. I submit that any guy would easily have thought the same thing) I lifted my arm just enough to look at her with one eye. That was it. No change in expression or anything.

Mrs. C: UGH!!! Really? I don’t believe you sometimes! Talk about a one-track mind.

She of course left the room and I followed soon after. I knew if I kept up the resistance, I’d have to deal with “the look” later. Plus, I figured if I complied we would work out what exactly she would have to do in return later.

********

By the way, I've also got more words up at Sprocket Ink today too. Funny ones! Go on, check it out. You know you want to.

UPDATE: As usual, this post is one of several you can find on the Weekend Funnies, brought to you by Vanessa D on her blog: My Half Assed Life. There are other funny bloggers linked up there so give 'em all a read, whydontcha?

Study Break.

Things are going to be a little quiet here for a few days. That's because I'm taking the week off to tend to the needy, ever demanding Real Life that keeps clamoring for my attention. It'll be just for the week, so nobody panic. Well, maybe if you could panicked a little that'd be nice. Just so I know you care.

Anyway, the needy thing in question is school. This semester isn’t a particularly tough one. I’ve somehow managed to convince myself that I’ve got a handle on most of the work and I think I have some idea what the words coming out of lecturers’ mouths mean. That being said, what this semester's courses lack in difficulty, they make up for in quantity. This week alone I have three assignments to finish and I also have to study for an exam on Saturday.

I'm getting tired just thinking about it.

Added to that, I've got to focus on payroll here at work this week. That's always a disaster, but I'll face it with my usual poise and determination.

Believe it or not, this setup actually looks better than my desk.

See you next week!