Wednesday, February 24, 2016

Conversation With Mrs C - My Hot Body.

Mrs C walks into the bedroom. She looks at me intently as I lie on the bed, her eyes run across my shirtless frame. After a few seconds, she walks over and puts her hand on my chest. After a few seconds, she looks int my eyes and says: Mrs C: Oh my GOD! Your body is so hot! Me: I know, right? Those hours in the gym are really paying off. Mrs C: *stares* Me: *wiggles eyebrows* Mrs C: *walks away* I meant your fever... ASS!!! Me: That's right, baby! You know I gots da fevah. You know you wants somma dis fevah! Mrs C: *stops in doorway and looks around* What does that even mean? Me: I dunno. There's a fairly good chance I got high off the cold meds. Mrs C: *continues on her way* Just be sure to take a cold shower tonight to cool your self down. Looks like you need it in more ways than one. So, yes, I'm sick and, yes, it sucks... royally! But, on the plus side, I'm starting to feel write-y again. Seems the pain and fever woke up those 100 monkeys in my brain have started tapping away at their little typewriters (don't even ask how those hipster monkeys got the typewriters in there to begin with). I'm not promising Shakespeare, though. Actually, I'm not making any promises whatsoever. A good blogger in a slump knows better that to promise that they're back for good. And since I've never been ashamed of copying said good bloggers, this won't be an exception. So... for now let's just leave things at: "We'll see."

8 comments:

  1. Other potential come-on lines when you, specifically you, are sick:
    "Let me take your temperature to make sure you're not sick too."
    "There's only one way to break this fever ..."
    "Let me warm you up."
    "No kissing. It's romantic, like Pretty Woman, except I guess I'm the hooker in this one? Maybe? Forget that analogy, you can't get transmit illness through a penis, I swear."
    "Want to go viral?"
    Or, maybe sexual congress isn't the best idea when sick, but I'm not a doctor.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Now that I'm (mostly) recovered the only thing keeping us at lame innuendo & flirting stage is that she's the one who's now sick. Apparently, an inevitable consequence of marriage is that we share cold germs even without sexual contact.

      Delete
  2. Is that the cold meds, inner strength or....(insert something witty here) talking?
    mmmh. I can't come up with an or...

    ReplyDelete
  3. P.S. Hungry after proving I am not a robot with noodle dishes

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You got noodles??? I always get street signs. If street signs stop them then all we have to do to win the war when the robopacalypse comes is wait until they ask for directions.

      Delete
  4. Wish I felt write-y when I was sick. Unfortunately all I feel when I am sick is Clean-y. People generally tend to stay out of my way.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I try to stay out of Mrs C's way when she's clean-y too. Mostly because the tries to infect me with it.

      Delete
  5. Robocopalypse is already here. Check your autocorrect. We sound like idiots.

    ReplyDelete

Go ahead, say it! You know you want to: