Tuesday, January 3, 2012

The Scariest Headlines I've Ever Read.

I know I said I wouldn't do a pseudo-post again but I have to let you all know that Sprocket Ink's back from vacation and we're hitting the ground running. I've got a brand spanking new post up there so just click in my SI badge to the right (which I somehow doubt you'll be able to miss). Two words: Japanese. toilets.

Totally!

Actually, I wouldn't really call this one a pseudo-post since I'm still writing beyond that last paragraph. I submit then that this does not, in fact count as a pseudo-post and I have, in fact, kept my word.

Uh-uh-uh! No arguing. I already said it.

Anyway, as you've may have guessed, I read the news sometimes. But recently I've come across some very disturbing real story headlines that made me cringe before I even read the the actual stories.

I'll list some of them for you. Keep in mind these are the actual headlines from actual news sites:

Man Dies After Eating Cocaine Hidden In Brother's Butt
- Hiroyuki Joho, Man Killed By Train, Sued After His Flying Body Parts Injured Woman
Sex Assault on Chihuahua Gets Ex-Convict 10 Years

And my personal-um-favorite(?)

- Patient Allegedly Had Penis Eaten Off By Rats

RATS!!!

*crosses legs and puts hands in lap nervously*

Okay, so now that I've thoroughly traumatized most, if not all of you. Head on over to Sprocket and read about weird toilet obsessions.

15 comments:

  1. Human beings: endlessly fascinating.

    Pearl

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  2. I will never think about rats the same way again... yikes.

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  3. I was terrified of rats prior to this... How can someone be sued for getting killed? Even still, isn't it the train's fault?

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  4. Nope. No cocaine butt. Just no. Wow.

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  5. I hope those were at least girl rats.
    If not, then that'd be just plain weird.

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  6. Sounds like the ex-con didn't learn his lesson about dog-fucking while behind bars.

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  7. So that's how 1984 could have ended.

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  8. @ Kage: Sometimes, though, crazy seems to be a worldwide affliction.

    @ Pearl: Yeah. Don't stories like these make you want to lock a few up? For study, I mean.

    @ Mike: I wasn't a fan of them before. Now... "yikes" is right.

    @ Q: The real story is if the dead guy actually loses & has to pay... & does.

    @ Nicole: Agreed. There are no circumstances that can justify anything like that. NONE!

    @ Al: I know! Right? Having your wang chewed by a boy rat... awk-ward.

    @ Thorn: Let's hope the lesson is thoroughly-um-pounded into him during his next stint. And, of course, thanks for the follow.

    @ dbs: Maybe his hospital room was number 101.

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  9. So I SHOULDN'T eat cocaine from a butt? Snorting it is still cool, right?

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  10. Chihuahuas are TINY. Is it weird that THAT is my immediate reaction to those titles?

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  11. @ Pickleope: I can't confirm or deny that statement. Except for the first part. Definitely avoid.

    @ Gia: Yes. But that's exactly why I love my fellow bloggers so.

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  12. I really want to read those entire articles now.

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  13. @ Brett: You'll be doing so at your own risk.

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  14. Also @ Brett: P.S. Thanks for following.

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