Friday, February 28, 2014

My Sincerest Apologies.


I trust since the last series of frantic emails and calls a half an hour ago you are all doing well. I have taken the time since our last exchange to reflect on what each of you had to express and I have realized I owe each of you some apologies.

First off, I apologize for suggesting the topic of focus for our group assignment. I admit the idea wasn't one of my best. To be honest, even I thought it sucked. It was born out of panic, to be honest. You see, we only had a half an hour to pitch our ideas to our lecturer and, after I realized we were all sitting in silence and staring around blankly for twenty minutes of that time, I think I let fear get the better of me and I simply blurted out the first thing that popped into my head. Believe me, had I known my decision to speak would lead to everyone else automatically turning off their brains and accepting my suggestion wholeheartedly (despite my opening the floor - nay - begging for other suggestions), I would have continued to remain silent with the rest of you.

I am so, SO sorry that everyone automatically assumed - without first confirming it with me - that, since I was the one who came up with the idea, that I would also be the one to prepare the whole draft paper for the lecturer to review and then go on to write the script as well (I hope you can understand my confusion at this point since another member of the group had already volunteered to do so but later, without giving us warning, seemed to have changed his mind). In hindsight, it made perfect sense that you all would just go about your lives for an entire week and think it was being handled by me, despite my not knowing I had to do it.

I'm also sorry for my job suddenly becoming so demanding. Had I known my being transferred to another office so far away, having to prepare a handover package for my replacement and subsequently having to miss a class due to the sheer exhaustion which resulted from all of this would have sent you all into such a state of panic, I would have acted in a more considerate manner.

I must also apologize for the lecturer shooting down our topic (the one I pitched and to which no one offered any alternative.) and that we now have to come up with and rewrite an entirely new paper. Had I known that during the week I was unreachable, some other member of the team would have altered my originally craptastic idea and made it, not only more craptastic, but put it outside the guidelines of the assignment, I would have made it my utmost priority to have handled things differently.

I am especially sorry to you, one-member-of-the-group-who-has-to-constantly-complain-that-you-are-the-only-one-who-is-actually-doing-anything. I know. I KNOW. It has been very hard on you. What, with your being completely silent and unreachable until the last minute and then emailing some shoddily prepared, almost unusable assembly of words, followed by calling and texting everyone in the group to make sure we see that you contributed. That ONLY YOU contributed.
I am perfectly willing to accept your behavior since you admitted to acting unreasonably when the mere thought of failing an assignment enters your head. I'm sure that was what prompted your very aggressive, albeit erroneous, email the other morning at 4 AM, telling us how you have to "put your foot down" and "we should consider ourselves lucky you didn't CC the lecturer on this email". For your sake, I am happy you did not CC our lecturer since, during your little rant, you clearly misrepresented how much you contributed to the group's work and how little everyone else did.

Mostly, I apologize for what comes next. I am afraid I can no longer sit idly by and trust everyone else to be the adults we all are supposed to be. I am truly sorry but, reluctantly, I am going to be taking stricter measures, assigning tasks and responsibilities, and making sure everyone communicates. Trust that I have no desire to do this but some level of leadership is needed going forward and, sadly, I see no one else stepping up to fill that role.

I hope you all can find it your hearts to forgive me for all I have done to contribute to every failure we've had as a group thus far. I will try my best from now on to be more of a team player and to be more considerate of everyone else's needs and commitments. I hope we can work past this and move forward from here.

Sincerely,

Vinny

20 comments:

  1. Two words vinyl, two words...

    Vinyl?????
    DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MANY TIMES I TURNED AUTO CORRECT OFF?

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    1. I-I'm confused. What are the two words? Is "vinyl" one of the words? What is the other word? How many times did you turn it off? I didn't know there'd be a quiz at the end!

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  2. One - I despise autocorrect every time I send a text with the word assistant in it. Clearly I only meant the first three letters.

    Second - Anyone who assigns a group project automatically earns a free pass to hell. Partnered projects are almost as bad. On the plus side, adults don't require someone else to arrange the time to work on the project, prepare snacks and arrange dropping off and picking up a kid.

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    1. Totally and completely agree with the Second. How about you, the boss, assign particular parts of a project to each person individually, collect those parts yourself and assemble them, like a freaking boss is supposed to do in every workplace!?!
      And Vinny, what are you doing being the sacrificial lamb? In business, the best skill you can have is to deflect blame and cultivate credit. The people who overstate their contribution, they're doing it right. Oh, don't get me wrong, I hate them too, but this is the system that has been established and you need to work the system as much as you work your actual job.

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    2. V: So that's where you've been. If that's true, there are a lot of lecturers here who already have reserved seats. We get group projects in practically EVERY class.

      Pickleope: I know... I'm a complete failure in the corporate world.

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  3. Oh dear. I am at a loss. Group projects scare me so I avoid them

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    1. I wish I could. Believe me, I wish I could.

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  4. Group projects - that is what hell is going to be.

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    1. College: Not only preparing you for life, but giving you the necessary experience in eternal damnation as well.

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  5. Wow. This should be in a handbook somewhere for students. Alas, some of them wouldn't understand the clever satire.

    Hang in there bud. This too shall pass.

    P.S. Love your reply to Antares above.

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    1. Also, if they're like most of the students I go to school with, they probably won't even bother to read it, since they usually think they'll get all the info they need from the lecturers' handouts.

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  6. I'm pretty sure that the point in assigning group projects in school is to teach you that life is unfair and that people suck. Sounds like you're learning a lot.

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    1. I already have enough life experience to know that. Oh well. At least this way, after I pass, I'll have the necessary certification proving I know life & people suck. That should make me more marketable, I think.

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  7. Ohh, group work. It's a ploy that evil profs like me love using. Instead of us teaching stuff, we make all of you figure it out. As groups inevitably argue and kill time, it's time that we don't have to work :-) It's quite genius actually. And whenever we're questioned about it, we just say, "Groups are how the real world works." hahahaha

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    1. That is evil! And genius! I think that revelation teaches me more about how the real world works than anything.

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  8. Ugh. So sorry you're running an adult daycare project. I do NOT miss those. The morons I worked with required me to come up with a DETAILED, dated checklist and weekly meetings to make sure everyone DID what they were supposed to do. Waste of time? Nope, they still sucked it up. It's easier to work with children, if they don't understand something they ASK at least.

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    1. Then why does it still feel like I'm working with children?

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  9. You know there's gotta be a problem when you google "the group assignment from hell" and get 5.68 million hits!

    Penny

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    1. Maybe it's a sign that we, as a species, aren't meant to work too closely together. That's what I'm getting from all these group assignments I've been involved in, anyway.

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