Monday, May 7, 2012

A Step-By-Step Guide To Almost Failing A Class.

1. Miss a major percentage of your classes due to demands of job.

2. Two-thirds of the way through the semester finally realize you haven't been receiving notes and updates from your lecturer because you just had to use the student email account the school forced you to take and it hasn't been working properly.

3. Fail to get required text books from school library because other students got to them before you did.

4. Miss group presentation day because you have to work late (worth 30% of overall grade).

5. Get fired from said demanding job less than two weeks before final assignment is due, spend first week in a funk (even though you promised yourself wouldn't let it get to you) and do absolutely nothing during that time.

6. Get make-up assignment from lecturer to help give you a fighting chance after missing the group assignment, wait until last possible minute to finally get started and panic because you only have two days  to research and prepare two presentations.

7. Instead of working on assignments, write a blog post explaining steps you took to very likely fail a class you should be passing with your eyes closed.


  1. Look, if I have to touch you on the butt again (in a purely coachly manner) I will do it.

    Pressure is good for you, it's makes diamonds out of coal or dinosaur blood or something. Be the diamond!

  2. I'm trying to think of some motherly words of wisdom to give you a bit of a kick in the pants, but since it never worked on either of my boys it's probably better if I don't.

  3. Ooohhh nooooo..... (imagine that taken down 30 decibels and then in slow motion). The most important lesson I learned in college was that all of your success in life, all of your happiness, all of your conquered fears and goals, all of it, depends SOLELY on knowing how to bullshit a bullshitter. I even bullshitted myself a B in statistics one time. Though now that I think about it, it was probably less my bullshitting ability and more because I showed my professor my boobs. Okay, that was a lie. I really didn't. No, I swear.

  4. 8. Sit by computer reading comments sent in to said post as you pretend to be working on assignment.


  5. Uh...what Trucking Tumbleweed said...but less butt play. Have you tried arson? I hear it helps in biding time. Much luck to you, sir.

  6. It looks like you left out the drinking heavily steps.


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