Hope we've all had a chance to recover from the love-fest that is Valentines Day. If you don't already know this, here's a nice tip for next year. Declaring your love to someone on the internet for everyone to see and comment on: major brownie points. Trust me.
Big shout out to Keely, the Un Mom for making Random Tuesday Thoughts possible. She totally owns RTT in every sense of the word and, for a better quality of random, you should go to her.
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- You know those guys that always have a loooong story to regale you with whenever you say anything to them? That's the guy in the export department where I work.
You say, "Good morning." He'll say, "You know where I saw a really great sunrise one morning? This one time in Barbados when I was blah blah blah blah blah... (*half an hour passes*) blah Oh, and did that coffee taste good! blah blah (Could I go make a coffee..? Should I pull a chair..? Okay...) blah blah blah (*go, make coffee and come back*) ...and that's I could say it was a good morning.
- Did I ever mention that we live next door to a dance school. No? Well there's nothing too special about them, really. Other than the fact that they party until one in the morning almost every Saturday night. Awesome. Oh! They also started doing this new awesome thing. We were settling for bed the other night when, no sooner had we gotten all comfy when we hear men's and women's voices screaming in terror. Well, you know what I thought. The zombie apocalypse was on! Serves me right for not getting around to making a zombie apocalypse survival kit.
Damn my procrastination!!!
I decide to quietly peek through the window to see if I can gauge the extent of the chaos...
Turns out it wasn't a flesh-eating zombie invasion after all. Seems the dance school is working on an some kind of dance recital. At eleven at night.
Every.night.
- Office Diva calls me today:
Office Diva: Vinny, the client wants specs on one of the products. You’re good with computers. Could you help me out? The supplier’s website is kind of complicated. Could you find the spec sheet for the product on the site and email it to them?
Me: Okay. I’ve been on the site and it isn’t that complicated. You could just send the client onto the site and I’m sure even a total and complete moron could find their way around it.
Office Diva: Well everyone isn’t computer savvy. Besides, I don’t want to give the client any trouble. I’m on the site right now and I have the info here.
Me: (Well you just proved my point).
Office Diva: Anyway, could you just go onto the website and send the info.
Me: So, let me get this straight. You mean the same info that’s on your screen in front of you right now… That you’re currently looking at… online… now?
Office Diva: Yes! Exactly! Just send that info to the client.
Me: …
Office Diva: Thank youuuu (hangs up).
Dude, I have one of those Office Divas at my Place of Business too. She makes me feel all stabby. Happy Tuesday!
ReplyDeleteHa! We have an office diva. Unfortunately he's my boss.
ReplyDelete"Keely, could you pull the blahblahblah file for me?"
"You mean the one that's in the filing cabinet that's 3 feet from your desk?"
"Yes, that one."
Every. Fucking. Day.
While I hate the long story teller, I most empathize with your last random story. I worked with computers for a while and this kind of stuff drove me nuts...
ReplyDelete1) When people are long-winded (besides me, of course) I just shoo at them with my hand and leave the room. Admittedly, there are a LOT of co-workers who think that I don't like them or that I'm just a bitch but my work day has become mine to control.
ReplyDelete2) I really want to see that dance recital.
3) My boss doesn't harass me like that *points to self*, "bitch"...remember?
i have one of those coworkers who when you ask what time it is, she tells you how to make a watch. she always monopolizes the conversation and turns it into a one-sided thing. but the hideous details just kill me.
ReplyDeleteavoid. avoid. avoid.
Your Office Diva sounds like a zombie to me. I'm just sayin'...
ReplyDelete"Zombie survival kit". LOL. I need to rename my "in case of emergency" box. Copyright Vinny C of course.
So basically, the kids from Glee live next door?
ReplyDeleteDude, I CANNOT believe you haven't got your zombie survival kit put together yet! What with those people around you?
ReplyDelete*shakes head in amazement*
I give up...
@ allstarme: Fortunately for me (and her) she spends most of her time out of office so the urges to commit acts of violence have time to subside.
ReplyDelete@ Keely: Management especially love delegating. Gotta love the corporate world.
@ paulsifer: One of my lecturers said once that we IT people are always guilty of wantonly giving out services freely that we should be charging for. Kinda mercenary but I could see her point.
@ Nari: People always make antisocial behavior sound like a bad thing. I find it to be a most convenient & useful tool.
@ pattypunker: I try. Lucky for me he sits only two cubes away.
That no drinking on the job policy seriously needs some revising.
@ Antares Cryptos: I’d like to be able to prove it. Then severing the connection to the brain would then actually be a public service.
Like the copyright idea. I wonder if I could live off the royalties.
@ dbs: Basically… just, you know, all screamy instead of singy. Actually, the comparison may be closer than I thought.
@ Nikki Rules: I promise I’ll get it finished. It’s just that I have to think up an explanation for the landlord for the chainsaw. Can you believe he’s doesn’t think a zombie apocalypse is a viable excuse?
Dance schools scare me.
ReplyDeleteMe too. I always get the feeling they're just a bit too into it.
ReplyDelete