Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Consistently Random

Hmmm... Decisions, decisions.

Write a random post or worry about an uncertain future...

Ehhh! I'll multi-task. Employers like that, right?

Of course, shout out to Keely, the Un Mom for making Random Tuesday Thoughts possible. She totally owns RTT in every sense of the word and, for a better quality of random, you should go to her.


- I will not bitch anymore about the workplace situation. I will, however, bitch about my aching muscles. Last week, I said I was rejoining the gym. I thought I could take it slow and ease into it. That way I could minimize on the muscle aches. My body, apparently, disagrees with this strategy and has decided to have most of the muscles in my body to ache like a mo-fo.

My old Thai-Boxing instructor used to say crap like, "Feel the pain! Respect the pain! LOVE THE PAIN!!! YEAH!!! He called it toughing us up. I called it sadomasochism.

- Last night, as I was travelling home, I looked up and couldn't help noticing the thuggish looking individual a few seats in front of me in the minibus taxi. I'm not one to judge but, with crime on the rise, minibus drivers have had to be cautious about who they pick up and where they stop. This has led to a type of profiling among drivers.

"If you look like a thug you don't get on my bus." is the general rule nowadays.

With that in mind couldn't help wondering how he managed to get the driver to pick him up. He reached his stop and was getting out the bus and I could see he had the full gangsta gear on:

Plain white vest? Check! Baggy capri jeans? Yup! Head tied with bandana peeking out from under basketball cap? There too! Gritty, angry-at-the-world facial expression? In place. Boobs? Roger tha...

Wait a minute!

Holycrapit'sagirl!!! I think...

Ummm... Well, okay then. Never mind.

- In one of my earliest posts I mentioned a very disgusting coworker. I've been pretty hard on him since then. From time to time I have considered trying to be nicer to him but he isn't making it easy. He generally works outside the office but he was in the other day. I was walked over to my desk and he was seated at a desk close by. He was rubbing his ankle with a piece of a sample we show customers.

Him: Foot fungus.*scratch scratch scratch* Itching like crazy.
Me: *Dry heave* Dude! What the hell?! You can keep that, by the way.

There! I think I've been rather productive.


  1. OMG... you made ME dry heave at that story. Foot fungus coworker = stay the fuck home. Ugh - no wonder you're searching for greener (or um, less fungal) pastures.

  2. I like it when you bitch about work, makes me feel so much better for not being able to find a job for the past two years... reinforces that I am not missing anything.

    You need to bring in a can of Lysol and start lysol'ing the hell out of your work area!

  3. Dude! Wow. I am going to have fun imagining the product your company sells...

    I dare anybody to tell a woman in labor "Love the pain!" I think they will immediately be one with the pain.

  4. I'm with the good Doctor. I just totally barfed onto my keyboard.

  5. You work with a foot fungus guy and you're just now looking for someplace else to work? Please, find a new job soon. I worry!

    Oh, and a thug is a thug is a thug even if he/she is a thugette.

  6. @ Dr. Cynicism: Trust me. If I sat down to itemize every nauseating habit he had, I'd have to keep an ample supply of barf bags really close.

    @ Nubian: Done & done. My workspace has never smelled so lemony fresh.

    @subWOW: I'm even willing to bet that having the ability to break concrete with his shins wouldn't save him either.

    @ Kev D.: Sorry about that. Trust me for the sake of all our stomaches, I'll avoid mentioning him again.

    @ Nari: True dat! Don't think I'd be any less cautious because of the fact that there are different genitals involved.

  7. i love work and coworker bitch stories. keep em coming.

    don't let the robots get you, vinny.

  8. Okay, well, I thought I had it bad at work but you've clearly won THAT contest. Gross.

  9. I have a co-worker that *used* to floss her teeth over the breakroom table.


  10. @ pattypunker: Fighting them off, tooth & nail. They won't have me back.

    @ Keely: Funny... I don't feel like a winner.

    @ A Vapid Blonde: Wow! She actually mastered combining hygiene with being gross at the same time.

  11. Funny post!

    And could someone please explain the belted-below-the-butt look to me?!



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