Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Some People Need Feel In Order To Learn.

Have you ever had the urge to just put someone over your knee and give them a good spanking? I don't mean in some kind of freaky, sexual fetish kinda way (I know you were thinking it. Don't lie). What I mean is, sometimes I see people out there who seem to desperately need a little positive punishment just to let them know that their behavior is unacceptable. You know who I mean. This applies to most celebrities, Wall Street execs and basically all politicians everywhere.

Public figures and corporate moguls are not the only ones this would apply to, of course. There are a lot of average Joes and Janes out there that we interact with on a day-to-day basis that need a good old hide-tannin'. Like people who text while driving, or chew with their mouths open, or insist on trying to hold a conversation with you while you're on the phone. Basically people who should have had a bit more discipline instilled into them as children.

Case in point: The other day I was in the pharmacy. I was at the counter waiting to get a prescription filled, just happily minding my own when, just a few feet away, I hear a young boy begin a rant about some health drink supplement his mother was buying him.
"Please, Jay, relax." his mother urged, "It's good for you."
Jay, who I'm certain couldn't be more than about ten or eleven, replied, "You know what's good for me? Soda! That's what's good for me." and he stormed off to the other end of the drugstore, leaving his mother there at the counter.

You sure it's wrong to just leave 'em there?
If young Jay's little outburst, or the way he ignored his mother as she sheepishly and unconvincingly called out to him, wasn't enough to rub me the wrong way, what came next would surely seal the deal. Defiantly, he stomped across the room but soon noticed that the energy he was investing into his tantrum was being wasted as his mother was engaged in conversation with the pharmacist. It was then he decided to amuse himself in other ways. As I watched, he picked up some candy from a small rack and shoved it into his pocket. He turned to walk away but then he noticed the security guard's stern eye on him and he quickly replaced it. He then turned his attention to the cashier behind one of the counters. One by one he picked up every single item on the counter and ask every question possible about them. The poor girl, trying to be nice (big mistake, because he clearly didn't deserve it) patiently indulged him. Meanwhile, his mother, who's attention was back on him returned to her timid chant of, "Jay... Jay... Jay..." over and over and over again, which, of course, he continued to ignore.

I know many are against the idea of striking children. But then you run into the gems like my friend, Jay, here and you can't help but question those beliefs. But, for those who are against corporal punishment being used on children you'd probably be right. The truth is, while the boy's behavior was bad enough,  his mother obviously needed to be way more stern with him than she was and her obvious failure to assert some more authority only served to enable his behavior. As we say here, "some children are brought up and some are dragged up" and I shudder to think what kind of adult she was preparing to send into the world. That's why I think you'll all agree with me to nominate Jay's mom to receive the honor of:

"The Tanned Hide"
Point of Note: If you're going to google the word "spanking", make sure your
safesearch is at least on moderate. There are sick, sick people out there.


  1. I think the solution is obvious: you bitch slap the little brat and force her to watch but gag her mouth so you don't have to hear her annoying nagging "Jay... Jay... Jay... Jay..."

  2. Semi True Torystellar said...
    Because you don't know me well yet, let me preface this by saying that we don't beat our children by any stretch of the imagination, however, Darling Husband and I do enforce corporal punishment when other methods of getting through to them appear to be failing.

    We try being diplomatic and solving the problem together, if that fails we raise our voices and depending on the situation we have even bribed them - but don't tell! When we have exhausted all of our other methods we spank. That is why God made asses padded so nothing vital will be damaged when you get swatted there. We get compliments all the time on how good our children are.

    I don't envy your position as I, too, hate to see an overindulgent, impotent parent in public. Makes me want to hurt the parent and *almost* feel bad for the misbehaving child.

    PS - I think you should turn the Tanned Hide into a blog award. Just my humble opinion. I love it.

  3. This is the reason I live in places with lots of closet space.

  4. @ Miss Nikki: Believe me, having only gotten four hours sleep the night before, something very similar had crossed my mind.

    @ Semi True Torystellar: I am totally down with exhausting all other options first and hope, when I do have kids of my own, they're not the wise-ass I was/am to push my limits.

    As for your suggestion, Yes! Yes! Excellent idea! Thanks. I don't believe I missed that.

  5. @ Moooooog35: Hmmm... I see where you're going with this. Good idea but it won't work in out current apartment. Ah, screw it! We were thinking of moving anyway.

  6. Raising adults instead of raising children requires tough love, not a pathetic "jay, jay, jay, jay...."

  7. I totally agree with you and Semi-True Story Teller. Diplomacy works sometimes, but sometimes the spanking is what is needed. Growing up, I think I only got spanked like, three times or something, I don't remember any of them. Apart from that, my parents could show me consequences, but I always knew the spanking was an option, and I don't think it was bad that it was.

  8. @ dbs: So true. I don't think some people realize that their children have to grow up someday.

    @ paulsifer42: Only three? Your parents had it easy with you. If I tried really hard I think I was able to get mine down to like three a month.

  9. That is why I carry a riding crop around with me.


  10. @ A Vapid Blonde: That must really help with keeping your palms from getting all red and swollen. Useful tip appreciated.

  11. Ive been known to scream "THAT has GOT to stop!" or "SHUT THAT KID UP"- when that doesn't work, I bitch slap a parent.
    Miss Nikki sent me over here... say HI to your newest follower.... me =]

  12. I have noticed that in this country parents, esp. mothers, tend to get into an indignant huffy if anyone else ever attempts to "parent" their children. If you ever read Dear Abby, you know that even grandparents are "not" allowed to parent as far as these parents are concerned. Where I grew up, any adult has the "right" to discipline any kid. Or at least call them out. It is definitely "It takes a village" type of environment for both good times and bad times. Timid as this mother was in front of her own child, I somehow believe that IF you had said something to the kid, she would have gone all Mama Bear on you and probably would have written about you on her blog, complaining about "the outrageous cad who dared to discipline her child right in front of her"...

    Long comment already, but your post really struck a nerve. Final thought: I am convinced (and I say it probably too often) that a lot of the problems we are seeing in this country comes from some parents' desire to be their children's "COOL BEST FRIENDS". I am sorry: that's not going to work. I have told my sons one too many times: My job is not to be your best friend. My job is to be your parent. Period.

  13. @Midwestern Mama Holly: Hello and welcome. I'm fairly certain that everyone in the room wanted to say and/or do just that. But, due to being too polite & in some cases too afraid (see next comment) keeps people quiet.

    @ The Absence of Alternatives: Agreed on all counts. Especially the part about parents trying be their kids' best friends.

    As for the parents' attitudes. Indignant huffy is the least of peoples' concerns around here. Too often, we hear of parents running into schools to get physical with the teacher or principle that dared to correct their child. One time there was a case of a woman getting her own cousin killed for scolding her son.

  14. Do the make toddler size Iron Maidens?

  15. nothing wrong with a little hair pulling and biting either.

    i totally missed the point, didn't i?

  16. @ Elly Lou: You'd think there'd be a market for that, right? But, sadly, no. I checked.

    @ Pattypunker: That opening question can be a bit distracting so close to a picture of a paddle. But say, for instance, someone smacked lil' Jay & his mom got all huffy & a fight broke out. I'd guess hair pulling & biting works there too. Heck, I'd pull up a chair for that.

  17. I'll have to find you the link on my post on the subject - but I believe in raisin' like I was raised. There will be no backtalk or sassin' - or there will be no teeth in the mouth. All it ever took with us was "Do you want to go outside?" and we straightened up right quick. Outside there were no witnesses.

  18. @ Rabbit: My upbringing was similar. Except it was outside, inside, in the street, the supermarket parking lot, inside the supermarket...

    Wouldn't say I grew up in an abusive household, though. My younger sisters & I were just really stubborn.


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