Monday, November 22, 2010

Further Advances In Stalking & Sharing The Pain

Two-For-One Post: A Bit Lengthy But There Are Lots Of Pictures.

Saturday night I was lying on the couch, watching TV (Yes, I know, all wild & crazy like that. That's just how I roll). Anyway, an ad came on for a website called mylife which is supposed allow you to search who's been searching you on the net. Mrs. C was in the kitchen and she overheard the ad. Since we both found it interesting I decided to check it out. I wasn't really expecting to find much. I've tried similar sites in the past and they generally don't allow you to even access their search without a valid US zip code. Plus, I've googled myself a few times and always come up with bupkis.

(Somewhat depressing -um- "fun" fact: I recently googled asvinnycsit and found my blogger, twitter and facebook links... I guess I should be happy that, according to the web, I exist in some form, at least.)

But I digress. I pulled up the website and put in my info which, not surprisingly, wasn't that much. If you've never tried one of these sites before, all they usually request is your first and last name and zip code. Mylife was the same: first name, last name and, of course, my zip code (Hoo-boy! Here we go again!). Surprisingly, I got in with the five zeros I'm supposed to enter. Not surprising was to find the results coming up empty. Once again, I resigned myself to a life of relative obscurity and was about to move on...

Until I noticed this:

Now since I never really got this far before, I don't know if the "Jealous Lover" feature is a standard for these types of sites. Of course, I couldn't resist trying it out:
Do they give you extra pages if you have more than three "Gals"?
Yes, you can jealously keep tabs on who's checking out your significant other... and your other significant other... and your other other significant other and so on.

Oh, c'mon. How could I not have fun with this?

The results were somewhat surprising, though:

When I was tired of it, and at her request, I searched out my wife's stalkers and found none. I have mixed emotions about this...


In other news, I actually made a blog award. This is thanks to the keen eye of Semi True Toristeller over at Can U Relate. I, being a little bit slow sometimes, probably never would have thought of this.

It all started in a recent post where I recanted my adventures while visiting the pharmacy (Oooh!). It was here I expressed my ideas about improper parenting - to put it mildly. I then made a suggestion about how this situation I observed should have been handled. Insert shameless self plug here: Click on the link and read the post if you don't know what I'm talking about. It was in my retelling of this incident that my award was born.

Behold! I bestow upon you:

The Tanned Hide!!!

Now from what I understand about the tradition, I'm supposed to pass this on to a few others and not just hang it on my own wall next to my wedding photos - Even thought I still might do just that anyway.

In creating this award I had to first decided it's purpose and then who should receive it. The first part was easy. It isn't to be presented to bloggers I wanted to give a spanking to... sorry. Also, it isn't to go to bloggers who I want (or think may want) to give me a spanking either... sorry again. This award goes to bloggers who hold a mirror up to society and its members who may have somewhat gone astray and often smash them over the head with it provide insight as to how those situations should be properly handled.

The next part was hard: who do I give this award to? I had a really hard time with this part. It's not that there aren't deserving bloggers out there that easily come to mind. That's just the problem: too damn many do. And, since I can't give everyone one - which we all can agree is really dumb and pointless - I had to narrow the list down. I decided to go with five. Because so many blogs I read fill the criteria so well I had to give this some serious thought. Then I got a headache so I just chose at random - because I'm lazy like that.

The first "Tanned Hide" recipients are, in no particular order are:
  • Dr. Cynicism @ Cynicism 101 - He's got a PhD in verbal ass whoopin'.
  • Miss Nikki @ my cyber house rules - Tellin' it like it is and not pulling any punches.
  • Simple Dude @ Simple Dude in a Complex World - He says he simple but his blunt delivery is genius.
  • dbs @ think.stew - Giving stupid the "stink eye" on a regular basis.
  • Semi True Torysteller @ Can U Relate? - Not just because she suggested I make this award but she holds the mirror up to herself first and that kind of brutal self honesty is something that reminds the rest of us to always be true to ourselves.

Please remember that if I didn't pick someone it isn't because I didn't feel you didn't deserve it. I'm trusting that if this gets circulated by it's recipients it'll eventually come to you and the work will be done for me (like I said: lazy).

There are supposed to be rules to these things but, you know what, I already have a headache, plus, the way I see it, society has too many rules as it is. I'll only say this much on the matter: if you choose to pass it on, give it to other bloggers who have been handing out some well deserved positive punishment to all the jokers out there.

As for me, I'm gonna go sleep this headache off.



  1. yayyyyy! LOVE it and will get around to is as soon as I can, I promise, but thanks a lot Vinny!

  2. Congrats! Love the cans of wuppass being dispensed here and over at the winners'!

  3. The word verification was SACKSH.

    Thought it was kind of apropos.

  4. Instead of spanking there are a few RL people I would love to actuall beat with a bat...does that count.

    I too have a headache and may crawl under my desk and nap.

    Love the award by the way!

  5. And my word verification was Speari, which I could totally use a spear instead of a bat if need be.

    The universe always provides.

  6. At first I was thrilled to be getting an award - especially a new one I hadn't heard of before.

    Then I was a little weirded out about getting spanked.

    Then I suddenly became complete fine with the spanking.

    Lastly I was a bit saddened, yet relieved to learn a spanking was not coming my way. But I am still honored!


  7. Thanks for the uh, spanking man.
    *awkward pause*
    Seriously though, it's quite unlikely that my drivel warrants your kindness but I thank you anyway.

  8. @ Miss Nikki: Just remember, it looks real nice hanging next to wedding photos, especially.

    @ The Absence of Alternatives: Agreed. Very appropriate. And, I'm positive we'll all have plenty cans o' wuppass to open up for a long time.

    @ A Vapid Blonde: I tried hiding under my desk too. But the guys in sales found me. They're pitbulls.

    Bat: good, spear: WAY better.

    @ Simple Dude: Sorry 'bout that. The guy in the photo was all lined up for the job... But he's in rehab getting over his hand-lotion addiction. Hazard of the job, I guess.

  9. Love the blog award and congratulations to the recipients.

    Have a great week!

  10. @ dbs: Don't mention it. There's no doubt in my mind that you do deserve Mr. Spankey too...

    There's just no right way to say that, is there?.

    @ Nubian: Thanks on my & their behalf. And a special thanks for presenting me with my first blog award.

  11. Okay, I'm a little behind checking in on the blogs I'm following. I'm sorry I'm so late to the party!!!!

    On the other hand, I am proud and priveleged to post your new award on my blog page!!! Thank you! Thank you!!! I just did a new post today, so I'll have to do my bequeathing in a day or too. You know a good spanking never hurt anyone. That's why butts have padding. At least I figured that's why mine is so padded....*shrug*

  12. Thanks so much Vinny! It's a giant bucket of win; totally appreciate it. I must say, I was slightly excited to think that it was to honor someone that needed a spanking... I was going to start rounding up a harem. But hell, I guess I could still round up a harem.

  13. One more note my friend - I gave you a shout out on my blog to thank you officially :-)

  14. @ Semi True Torystellar: No pobz. Glad you like it. And as for the padding, it works for all parties involved. Imagine how sore your hands would get.

    @ Dr. Cynicism: Don't let the details stop you. You go ahead & go nuts. And, of course, thanks for the shout out.

  15. LOL - loved reading about the award! Fun and cool idea. I read the blogs of the recipients and think you made great choices.


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