There were four of us in the barbershop this morning: the barber, two other patrons - who were friends - and myself. I was in the chair and the other two were waiting their turn. I, having had only about four hours sleep was intently focused on not falling asleep in the chair (for fear of secret paranoia# 8: If I fall asleep in the chair the barber will get mad and give me a jacked-up haircut).
Anyhoo, crazy paranoia aside, I was, however able to overhear the following conversation which took place right after one of the other guys went out to take a smoke:
Patron 1 to Barber: You know, me and Patron 2 were liming (hanging) at a bar last night and he asked me if I thought a small, medium or large penis would feel better.
Patron 1: That's what he asked me, if I thought a small, medium or large penis would feel better.
Barber: Dawg,... What'd you say?
Patron 1: I - I couldn't answer.
Barber: You crazy, yes. So you left right?
Patron 1: I couldn't. It was 2 in the morning and he was my ride home.
Me: (Stifled laughing)
Barber: Well, with that, I was walking for sure.
The conversation hadn't gotten much further when Patron 2 came back inside after finishing has smoke. Skillfully, the barber changed to a new topic to avoid the awkward silence.
I'll say this much, at least I wasn't sleepy any more.