Saturday, November 13, 2010

Barbershop Babblings

There were four of us in the barbershop this morning: the barber, two other patrons - who were friends - and myself. I was in the chair and the other two were waiting their turn. I, having had only about four hours sleep was intently focused on not falling asleep in the chair (for fear of secret paranoia# 8: If I fall asleep in the chair the barber will get mad and give me a jacked-up haircut).

Anyhoo, crazy paranoia aside, I was, however able to overhear the following conversation which took place right after one of the other guys went out to take a smoke:

Patron 1 to Barber: You know, me and Patron 2 were liming (hanging) at a bar last night and he asked me if I thought a small, medium or large penis would feel better.
Barber: Wha...?
Me: Wha...?
Patron 1: That's what he asked me, if I thought a small, medium or large penis would feel better.
Barber: Dawg,... What'd you say?
Patron 1: I - I couldn't answer.
Barber: You crazy, yes. So you left right?
Patron 1: I couldn't. It was 2 in the morning and he was my ride home.
Me: (Stifled laughing)
Barber: Well, with that, I was walking for sure.

The conversation hadn't gotten much further when Patron 2 came back inside after finishing has smoke. Skillfully, the barber changed to a new topic to avoid the awkward silence.

I'll say this much, at least I wasn't sleepy any more.


  1. I think listening in on barber's conversations is about like listening in to shoe polishers at the airport. I just love to get my shoes polished even if it is 3 times the price, just for the entertainment. But... really, what size would best fit you? I mean, you are the one who brought it up right?

  2. I choose (D): Boy, you better back up off me with that bull before it get ugly up in here.

    There are times you need to get a little gangsta, you know.

  3. I am still focusing on the 'feel better' part of the question!

  4. So if dude #2 was driving, he was SOBER when he asked that question? Is it just me or does that make it worse?

  5. @ Nubian: I'm making no attempt whatsoever to focus on any PARTS that may be involved.

    @ Elly Lou: I considered that too and, yes, it does make it worse... much worse.


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