Wednesday, November 27, 2013

I Have No Idea What I'm Doing.

I recently figured something out. These people I'm working with actually expect me to know my shit. Not just the stuff I'm expected to know to do the basic, entry-level duties for which they hired me. Noooo. They want me to bring my "A" game! They read my résumé. They know about my experience and they're expecting me to put that all to work. And then some.

Nobody cleared this with me!

I suppose I should start from the beginning. Soon after I started this job, I was put in charge of recording certain bill payments for the ministry and, of course, the records were a mess, so part of my job was to help make some kind of sense of it all. It seemed daunting at first, but things were going well, once I got to it. However, unbeknownst to me (YAY! I can finally take using that phrase off my bucket list), there was a team being set up to address this mess and solve it once and for all. And, being the guy in charge of recordkeeping, I was automatically drafted into this team. I spend a large chunk of our strategy meetings either trying to stay awake or trying to understand even half of what they're saying. And they expect me to vet documents they prepare to make sure they are doing it right.

So, to clarify where things stand, we have a bunch of men and women, with degrees up the wazoo, years of experience in things like project management and finance... Then you have me. The guy who spent ten minutes one morning making nunchucks out of paper clips and staples.
They're meant for me to protect myself against paper cuts.
I repeat: These people actually expect me to vet things like the "project charter" they're preparing, to make sure they are doing it right as well as help prepare a trending report for the past 12 months.

I don't even know what those are!

I'm not entirely sure where they got this idea from that I'm capable of doing anything they're expecting me to do. Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying I'm in over my head (well, maybe a little). I just assumed, when I joined the public sector, that it would be a bit less... complicated.

I'm scared.

20 comments:

  1. Congrats on using "unbeknownst to me"! That's a good one! I feel like that about semicolons. And also "the motherlode."

    I'm quite sure you can do whatever strange and complicated thing it is they are asking you to do. You seem smart, for one thing, and for the other thing...you know how to use Google!

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    Replies
    1. Google has definitely come in handy so far... when it isn't being a complete distraction, anyway.

      As for semicolons, I don't know if I'm ready to handle those yet.

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    2. Oh well! that's life. Experienced people use to be in a lazy funk and they take advantage...
      But don't worry they know you're able to do it just right. Don't be scared.. it will be just the first time. Sure you are smart enough, otherwise they wouldn't ask you for the task.
      Goooo boy! My best wishes. Judith

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    3. Thanks. I sure now that, if I have everyone on the internet thinking that way, than maybe I can convince these people here too.

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  2. Replies
    1. Well, if you guys think I can do it, I guess I can try... or fake my ass off.

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  3. They know people are going to exaggerate and embellish their resume and in the interview process, they need to temper their expectations when you actually get on the job. I'd say this is on them for having out of control expectations that you could expertly do your job. But if they saw those sweet sweet nunchucks, they'd back off.

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    1. Right? I mean, what's next? Do they try make use of the stuff I put in the "Other Skills & Training" section. Nunchucks aside, I'm didn't really get trained in the art of ninjutsu during my childhood. That was just some harmless padding.

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  4. I always say that the work day goes by so much faster when challenged than when bored. Looks like you're in for a lot of fast days (see, a silver lining - a phrase I had been looking forward to using, but I write about my teens and thought it would never happen).

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    1. Faster days are good. I think it'd be great if Friday could get here sooner...

      Waitaminute...

      It IS Friday! This might not be so bad after all.

      Delete
  5. People assume I'm way way smarter than I am too. Just roll with it. And keep smiling.

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    1. Just act natural? I can pull that off. If anyone asks me anything I'll just spout some corporate buzzwords & try to confuse them more than I am.

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  6. Of course you can do it. Anyone who can make nunchucks out of paperclips can romp in a little public service mess sorting.

    Ps, did you get my email about the giveaway?

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    1. Worse case scenario, I could probably use those nunchucks to hold everyone back until I can find an escape route.

      Glad we got the email mess sorted out. Thanks again.

      Delete
  7. Hahaha a man who can concoct dangerous weapons out of paperclips and staples DESERVES to head a team like that. I hope whenever any of them made a stupid suggestion you nunchucked the eff out of them with those. Because....it amuses me. Well done! :)

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    1. I wish I could. I need to restrain myself from committing acts of violence against my superiors so my contract gets renewed next year. SIGH! They always find ways to get you over a barrel.

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  8. It sounds like your main mistake was establishing competence at your job early on. You should've done what I did when I first started mine: demonstrate complete idiocy. Keeps the bar nice and low.

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    1. Maybe it’s not too late for the complete idiocy approach. As things stand with my current projects, there won’t be much acting involved.

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  9. Don't sweat not knowing. Your contribution will be protecting them from ninjas should they appear. Your survival skills and weapon creating skills will be more than enough!

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    Replies
    1. If only they'd assign me responsibilities that involved ninja invasion prevention... or comic relief... I'm sure they'd find my overall contribution much more meaningful.

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