How's everyone doing? Good? Good! Glad you all could come. I know all our plates are full and I appreciate everyone taking the time out of their busy schedules to join me here.
But that's what I like about this team. The way we've all got that passion, that fire in our bellies that makes us want to go the extra mile. We're team players who know how to knuckle up, grit our teeth and come out swinging. That's why we can go toe-to-toe with the best of them. Good stuff, team! Good stuff.
Anyway, enough of that. It's time to get to the real meat of the matter. The reason why we're all here today. It's time to discuss facts and figures. And the fact is, we need to do more. We need to get the numbers up, pure and simple.
Now don't get me wrong, folks. We've been doing great so far. The numbers have been good and I know everyone's giving 110% right now, but we need to take things to the next level. We've got to keep maximizing on our current strengths but we've also got to grow. We need to exceed our potential. We need to explore new avenues and find some innovative new strategies. Only when we can cross that threshold, it's then, people. THAT'S when we're going to be the ones to raise the bar.
That's our game plan moving forward. It's time to take that bull by the horns and wrestle that bad boy to the ground. What I'd like is to do is set up some strategic focus groups that will consist of sub-groups containing individual members who can come up with a plan of action for how each unit can contribute best to making this initiative really take off.
Good? Outstanding!
I'll have my assistant shoot everyone an email with the date for our follow up meeting where we can really drill down into the heart of the matter. Very productive session, gang! I think we all have a clearer idea now of what we expect from each other. Good stuff!
That made me break out in hives. I have heard that speech SO MANY TIMES. :) I have to say though, I keep hearing "just ping me over the details" and let me tell you, the next time I hear it there may be a disfigurement happening. I'll ping you something, fucker! There, I feel better, thanks for that Mr. C.
ReplyDeleteGlad I could help. Honestly, though, what "just ping me" even mean? Whenever I hear it, I imagine flicking the person who said it on the back of his/her head with my finger while making a pinging sound.
Delete"PING!"
I sent this around my work as a joke but now I've been promoted to Chief Assistant Manger of the Managerial Lead. Ugh.
ReplyDeleteIt's always risky letting them know you speak their language. A word of warning: Watch out for when they give you the company cells (apparently, one alone isn't enough anymore), a laptop and a tablet. Once they've got those electronic hooks attached, it's game over.
DeleteThat whole thing baffled me for two whole reads until I went back and re-read the TITLE first. I'm such an idiot.
ReplyDeleteI don't think so. I've gone in to meetings with a full agenda, product brochures and printouts of the PowerPoint presentation that was going to be used and still not have a clue what was said when it was over.
DeleteGo team! I feel inspired! To do something! Just not sure what!
ReplyDeleteIn the end, I think that is the desired goal. Energy without any real direction. It's not necessary that you know what you have to do, just that you want to do it.
DeleteBut sir, I believe we need some out-of-the-box synergistic cohesion on the project. We need to wrap our heads around this to create a paradigm shift on our ROI. Let's take this offline, do our due diligence, put some lipstick on this pig, not to throw anyone under the bus, but we need to ballpark this and develop next steps and best practices.
ReplyDeleteThat is exactly you've now been volunteered to take point on project managing our initiative. I'll expect a full PowerPoint presentation on how we're going to tackle this puppy - with printed material - in time for this afternoon's strategic planning session. You do have project management training, right? No matter. How hard can it be? You'll find your backup cell, laptop and iPad when you get back to your desk. Good stuff!
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