Clerk: Good afternoon, sir. How can I help you?
Me: Hi. I'd like to see No. 111.
Clerk: Excuse me?
Me: No. 111. I bought this shirt here a few days ago and I found this tag in the pocket. It says I should return this shirt to No. 111 if there's a fault or a defect.
Clerk: Oh. Is there a problem?
Me: Are you No. 111?
Clerk: No, I'm Cindy. But if you explained the problem, maybe I could help.
Me: Well... Okay... But it really says I should talk to No. 111...
Cindy: So, what seems to be the problem?
Me: It has this weird smell.
Cindy: It does? (*smells shirt*) Oh! Oh my! I'm so sorry, sir! I don't know how this could have happened. If you have your receipt, I can exchange it for you.
Me: No worries. Here.
Cindy: If you don't mind me asking, didn't you notice the odour when you bought it?
Me: It didn't smell like that when I bought it.
Cindy: It didn't?
Me: No. It smelled like that when I got home. From work.
Cindy: Ummm... So you wore it?
Me: Yeah. To work! I work now. Awesome, right?! I can't stop talking about it.
Cindy: Well... congratulations.
Me: Thank you. Anyway, when I got home, I took it off and a few hours later, there was that smell.
Cindy: Oh. I have to ask. Did you sweat?
Me: Did I!?! I sweat all the time. I think I have hyperactive sweat glands. That's how much I sweat.
Cindy: Then maybe it's possible that the scent came from your sweating then?
Me: Uh-uh! No way! I thought you'd try to say something like that so I brought this.
Me: My deodorant.
Cindy: I'm confused...
Me: Hello! De.o.do.rant! As in it takes the odour away. No way it could have been me.
Cindy: It doesn't-
Me: And what about the fact that the shirt was wet when I got home. It was hot yesterday. Not a drop of rain.
Cindy: Well... the sweating...
Me: Ah-HA! Look again. See? It's also an antiperspirant. It blocks perspiring. Nice try, Cindy.
Cindy: Sir, I... You said you did sweat-
Me: You know what? Lemme talk to No. 111. I bet he or she could sort this out.
Cindy: Sir, these shirts are made in England. Whoever 111 is, they're all the way over there. I don't know the inspectors.
Me: Trying to stall me, huh? What's your number? I need to report this.
Cindy: I don't have a number, sir. Besides, there isn't anything we can really do for you.
Me: Well, that's not a very helpful attitude. It's no wonder you don't haven't been given a number yet. Is it, Cindy?