Thursday, April 25, 2013

Autopilot.

I've been a little out of sorts these last few days. Well... more out of sorts than usual anyway. It feels like I've been on autopilot and, before I realized it, Thursday had managed to sneak up on me.

I blame it on how I've been sleeping... or not sleeping, to put it more accurately. There are a lot of memes out there that talk about how we as adults now appreciate and long for the naps we once resisted as children. When we were young, we had all this energy and no real responsibility to channel it towards. Now, as adults, things have been switched around and we have tons of responsibility, but the old energy meter doesn't top up as high as it used to. And let's not even start talking about trying to relax or have social life!

Somehow, I think we got things screwed up somewhere. Maybe we should start sending kids off to the office to deal with conference calls and deadlines so we can stay home and nap. Maybe even indulge in a coloring book.

Whatever the case, the end result was my brain being on vacation while my body went through the motions of getting through each day. In fact, it feels like my brain has become something of a slacker. He's always showing up late and when he does show up, he needs to "ease into the day". So, before anything gets done, he has to check out Facebook, read the comics and see what's going on over at Twitter, which takes about half the day. By the time he's done, whatever little energy my body had has slowly seeped out and it starts shutting down and I don't even notice my face getting closer and closer to the desk as I start drifting off to sleep. Brain then takes this as his cue to leave for the rest of the day.

Of course, my brain eventually does get his act together at some point during the day...

Brain: Hey! You ready? Let's do something.
Body: What? Dude! It's, like, almost 11 o'clock! AT NIGHT!!! I was about to take us inside to go to bed.
Brain: Really? It's that late already? Feels like I just got here.
Body: YOU DID JUST GET HERE!!! What have you been doing all day?!
Brain: I dunno... Stuff... I guess. Hey, I was there for class tonight when-
Body: It's Tuesday. We didn't have class today. The last class we went to was on Saturday, idiot!
Brain: Oh... Did we go?
Body: What the-?! Seriously!?!
Me: Would you two keep it down! I'm trying defend my new base here.
Body: Vinny, that's enough. You can barely keep your eyes open.
Me: But I just entangled a gold mine.
After all these years, I'm still a little hooked on this game.
Brain: Jeez! Let the man play, will you?! By the way, Vinny, didn't you want to write a post about that thing that happened?
Body: That's it! Off to bed! Everybody! NOW!!!

That's been my week, in a nutshell.

Last night I couldn't take it anymore so I crashed as soon as I got home from class. I crashed hard! Then I had a weird dream where I was dropping something off at some meeting with a bunch of priests and a one of them told me I needed to set aside time on the weekends to dance... I do not dance. EVER. I tried once and was asked kindly to never do it again. Then, in the dream, all the catering staff cleared the room and started to do the Harlem Shake.

I'm not even going to start.

Now I'm rested and it feel like everybody's on the same page again, hence me writing this nonsense. I think I've learned my lesson and I'm definitely going to try not to neglect getting what sleep I can.

Only now I'm worried about what I'm going to dream up next.
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Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Wordless Wednesday: A Modern-Day Horror Story.


Thursday, April 18, 2013

I Guess I'll Just Shave This Morning After All.

GAH!!! This is why I hardly look in the mirror! Where the hell did all these greys come from?! I was going to skip shaving today, but if this is what I have going on with my chin, I might as well just shave and get it over with. And the dark circels around my eyes are a nice touch...

DAMMIT!!!

It's bad enough Mrs. C left a bottle of hair coloring out last week so I could "deal with that situation going on  on the top of my head". She'd never let me hear the end of this.

It has to be all the stress. That's it! This is all due to stress. I mean, it has to be that. Right? I'm only turning 35 this year. It's not like I'm getting o-

No! I'm not going to say it! I'm not even going to think that word. That's not even an option. I've got plenty of time before I start worrying about stuff like that. Years even! I just have to start taking better care of myself, is all. Get a little more sleep at night, stop worrying about the bills and school and grandma Evie's health problems and I'll be just fine. Yeah... I need to stop stressing myself out. Those are the things causing all these grey hairs to show up. I just need to relax.

"You're as young as you let yourself feel." That's what I always used to believe. It's what I still believe. Aging is a state of mind and I refuse to let myself think any differently. Not yet. Not when there are still so many things to get done. I refuse to accept slowing down now. I'm not ready to yet.

We want kids. We’ll have kids eventually. There’s still time. We just have to clear stuff out of the way first. Get on more solid footing financially. Then there’s that kung-fu class I want to join. I still have time to start… Then again, I could so much more advanced if I’d started already…

Whatevs! Anyway, might as well go to the bathroom and shave before Mrs. C wakes up.

OW!!! Damned ankle! I really need to get new shoes.

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I wrote this for this week's Theme Prompt on Studio 30 Plus.
This week's prompt challenges you to write a post around the theme "Old", but not use the word in the actual post.

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Forget Everything I Said Before. THIS Is My Dream Job.

I know I've made some complaints about things with my new job at TinyCo. Truth is, I could just keep going on and on with my list of the things that are wrong with the place. But I won't. Not today, anyway. Today I want to talk about what I think could possibly the best job ever.

A while back, I said I could totally be the disembodied voice you hear coming from a supercomputer or an automated PA system. I could still see myself being happy with that gig if the opportunity presented itself. And, yes, there's still journalism. Even with what happened at The Paper, I'm still chasing that dream.

But as much as I love both career options, I'd give them both up in a heartbeat if I landed this one job. To me, it's THE job. I may not have the necessary qualifications for it on paper, but I'm sure I can more than make up with my "hands on" experience.

It's the job this guy I wrote about today on Sprocket Ink has. I'm so jealous of him right now. I even volunteered to be his assistant, if he'd have me on his team.

Of course, if you want to know what I'm talking about, you'll have to go see for yourselves? Just do the usual. Click HERE, on my SI badge to the right or on my Me & Sprocket Ink tab on the top of the page. (There were links, but the site is gone now.)

I'll say it again. Best. job EVER!

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

The Look Says It All.


When you're married for a while, or in any kind of long term relationship really, communication can just as easily achieved non-verbally as it can with words. After a while you can pretty much figure out what the other person is saying in most of the time without them having to say a single word.

I’m not much for talking. Except for when I'm writing, I prefer to communicate with as few words as possible. In most cases I think responding with a simple grunt meets all my communication needs. With the right tone or length behind it I can convey how exactly how I feel without having to invest time and thought into formulating a detailed response. My wife doesn't always pick up on most of the subtle nuances, though (though most of the time I think she chooses not to) and she generally requires that I clarify what a particular grunt may mean. Except for annoyance. I’m really good at letting on when I’m annoyed and she usually doesn’t bother to ask me to explain.

But I’m not only talking about grunts and growls here. There are other non-verbal ways couples communicate. The most popular of these I guess are the different types of “looks” that can be shared between people who are close. Take for instance the look. That one your wife or girlfriend can give you that sends shivers down your spine. When she gives you “the look”, every ounce of courage, every argument you had formulated and every rebuttal you had started to work out in your head evaporates. Mrs. C is really good at “the look”. VERY good.
Of course, my "look" isn't too shabby with it either.
Being able to say things to someone without words is a subtle art form. Over time, we learn how to do it without even trying. It simply becomes a reaction. Something done on reflex and even you don’t think too much about when you do it. An example of what I mean happen just this Saturday.

We were at home and I was tired after a busy and stressful day. It was already getting late and I went into the bedroom and threw myself on the bed. I was laying there, face up, with my legs hanging halfway off and one arm covering my face to keep the light from overhead out of my eyes. Soon Mrs. C came in looking for me.

Mrs. C: Get up! I need your help in the kitchen.
Me: *Growls*

She understood, but chose to disregard my response. At this point she came in closer, stood between my knees and leaned over me slightly.

Mrs. C: Vinny, come on! What do I have to do to wake you up?

(Keep in mind that where she positioned herself and how she phrased her question. I submit that any guy would easily have thought the same thing) I lifted my arm just enough to look at her with one eye. That was it. No change in expression or anything.

Mrs. C: UGH!!! Really? I don’t believe you sometimes! Talk about a one-track mind.

She of course left the room and I followed soon after. I knew if I kept up the resistance, I’d have to deal with “the look” later. Plus, I figured if I complied we would work out what exactly she would have to do in return later.


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By the way, I've also got more words up at Sprocket Ink today too. Funny ones! Go on, check it out. You know you want to.

UPDATE: As usual, this post is one of several you can find on the Weekend Funnies, brought to you by Vanessa D on her blog: My Half Assed Life. There are other funny bloggers linked up there so give 'em all a read, whydontcha?