Wednesday, October 10, 2012

I Think We May Be Running Out Of Excuses.

This isn't an anniversary post, but I have to mention that in two days Mrs. C and I will celebrate our 9th wedding anniversary. That same Friday will also be the 16th anniversary of our first date.

I know, right? SIXTEEN YEARS!!! That's a long time to be with one person. That's just under half our lives! I'm not complaining, though. I'm glad for every one of those years and the ones to come. But, I guess other people have noticed that we've been "husband and wife" for almost a decade. Especially since we're still just husband and wife and no kids have come into the picture yet.

Of course, it isn't that we don't want kids. We do. In fact, we have been working on it, but like many couples, things in that department don't come as easily for us.

Being a somewhat private person, my wife has chosen not to really share our difficulties with getting pregnant with most people. Most of the time, when anyone asks, we just say something like "we're not ready yet" or more commonly, "it's not a good time for us financially". This last one is mostly true and is one of the main reasons we haven't really made becoming parents our top priority.

But, as I said, people are starting to get impatient. One person in particular is my mother. She's given up on hinting at it over the years and has taken a more direct approach. Like when we talk on the phone:

Me: Hey, mom. What's up?
Momma C: Nothing much... Grandbabies?

It goes pretty much the same when I visit too. But I'm not the only one. Mrs. C has to deal with this as well. Like one time when she got an unexpected call at work:

Mrs. C: Ummm... Hi, Momma C... This is unexpected-

It's safe to say, my mom's getting a bit anxious. The weird part is that she already has grandchildren from one of my two younger sisters. She just really wants them from us. I don't know if I should feel special or suspicious.

Momma C isn't the only family member who's getting impatient and we regularly have to fend off the, "So when are you going to start having kids?" question from relatives on both sides of the family, friends and coworkers.

My personal favorite time deflecting this question was with one of my former coworkers about two years back:

Former Coworker: So, Vinny, why don't you have kids yet.
Me: What?! EW! No way! We can't stand the little buggers!

She almost stopped speaking to me until I told her I was only kidding.

Now another person has started putting us on notice that they long for the pitter-patter of little C's.

Remember Mrs. C's  grandma Evie? I may have mentioned here and there that she lives with us. She's always been quiet. She keeps to herself and spends her days reading and rereading newspapers while listening to the radio. This suits me fine. You all know I never have been the social type. Well, the other day, Mrs. C was in her room talking to her and Evie gave her this as she was leaving...
Mrs. C promptly brought it to me and we had a good laugh about it.

Until we both thought, "Oh crap! Another one."

I think we're running out of time before there's an angry mob at our door with torches and pitch forks (and home pregnancy tests).


  1. Hmm..My advice from having been there and done that is to just tell those who ask some basics of what is going on. it really shuts them down fast. I have 2 boys from my previous marriage but after a few years of marriage to my awesome hubby we decided we wanted one of our own. We waited too long and at my age, after 3 yrs of trying, I was told by a specialist that there was no way in hell I would ever get preggo without doing the incubate and insert deal. And even then the chances are around 1-2%. So, we said the hell with it and enjoy the 3 we have from previous marriages.
    Sometimes that's just the way it is. We told everyone who nagged us what the Specialist told us. Shut them all down really fast. No need for details about why or who's fault it may be..just the basics that the big kahuna says no way in hell. Perhaps they'll pitch in for the financial part of trying if you give a few basic details to a few discrete people.

    1. I guess... But the real trick would be finding the discreet ones.

  2. I say it's nobody's business but you and your wife's. There is way too much pressure on people to have babies. Some may not want them and some may be dealing with disappointments. Having babies is a long term commitment and there are too many people who would put more thought into selecting a puppy than having a child.

    The article is pretty funny though.

    1. This is one commitment we both think we're ready for (thus proving we probably AREN'T ready).

      Plus, we do plan to get a puppy too ;)

  3. I had the same problem. I say "had" because my friend had a baby and I asked to borrow the baby and took cheesy Christmas card-style pictures at the local big-box store. The twist? I took the picture with the first person I saw, an 80 year old man. So it's me, a baby not of the same ethnicity as me, and an 80 year old man, also of a different ethnicity in a picture. I wrote "Now will you stop asking about my reproductive habits?"
    ...Actually I lied, they STILL ask after all that. Subtlety doesn't work, overt actions don't work. Annoying family is annoying no matter what you do.

  4. My friend Glenn and his wife adopted a child, then five years later after he turned 40 his wife discovered she was pregnant. They had a girl. A year later, they had another girl. never know.

  5. I know people mean well when they ask but they forget that they could be adding stress to an already stressful situation.
    It can be so hard to ignore family but I guess all you can do is try to find a way to tell them to back off in the nicest possible way

  6. I don't know why families need to do this.
    Was going to write a friend's experience, but dbs already did.
    When you least expect it, it just happens.

  7. next time Mama C asks, "grandbabies"? you should respond, "trust fund"?


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