Monday, July 4, 2011

The Way You Look.

One Saturday I was the local farmer's market. We didn't really have a lot to pick up that weekend so I was handling it solo again. I stopped at one of the vendors we usually bought from. Normally we'd buy broccoli from her but she had other produce and, that day, I and was just picking out some tomatoes.

Broccoli Lady: You by yourself today?

She always asked me this when I came to the market by myself. I believe it was more for the sake of making idle conversation than anything else.

Me: Yup. Just me today. (My usual response)
Broccoli Lady: Alright... She is your wife, right?

I wasn't expecting a follow-up question. This wasn't a normal part of our well rehearsed exchange.

Me: Yeah.
Broccoli Lady: Oh. I ask because I thought you were brother and sister at first. Then I realized you might be a couple later on.
Me: Nope. We're married. Almost eight years.
Broccoli Lady: Eight years! That is a long time.
Me: I guess.

The conversation didn't go much further from there. Later that evening I told Mrs. C about it and we got a little laugh. But to be honest, it wasn't the first time we had heard the remark. Even though our racial composition is a bit different - I'm a mix of mostly African with some Indian added in while she is African with a splash of Venezuelan - the fact is that we do look a lot alike. Ever since we were dating, people have told us that we look related and that we could be brother and sister.

We checked. We're not. Let's get that one thing clear.

Anyway, this actually isn't uncommon. A few years back, I heard of a study that people often choose their significant other based on vanity. Simply put, if you think you're good looking, you'll very likely be attracted someone who looks like you. So, in a sense, you're looking for another version of yourself to sleep with build a life with and when you think you see that perfect someone it's actually just that you're in love with your own reflection.
Me: When you think about it, it kinda takes some of the romance out of it.
Mrs. C: So why do you think I chose you? If our kids get our best features, they'll be gorgeous.
Me: Really... So I'm relegated to the role of genetic contributor now? (She's a romantic one, my wife)
Mrs. C: I'm just saying. I want my kids to have every advantage.
Me: Then what you're saying is that you married me for my looks?
Mrs. C: Yeah right, fat boy!


  1. Mrs. C is one very wise lady!

  2. @ Nubian: That's what worries me.

  3. If you were a bird, it would all be about your looks.

    This probably only makes sense to me.

  4. My wife and I look related too. We're not but we think our kids are beautiful. Uh, I think this proves that bias theory correct then.

  5. I'm relieved to hear this- My boyfriend and I have heard this several times from people, "are you brother and sister" like cashiers... um, no... we are romantically involved, ewww... But we've gotten used to it haha.

  6. @ AC: um... I can't argue with that. You really got me there.

    @ dbs: Yay for vanity! That's where all the cute kids come from.

    @ Meri: There was this one guy who actually asked me if my sister (my wife who was my girlfriend then) was seeing anyone. I said, "Yeah. me."



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