Wednesday, December 3, 2014

A Little 'O This & A Little 'O That.

It would seem, for all intents and purposes, I'm back. I passed on my sport assignment to my lecturer and, until he provides me with feedback, I'm a free man again.

During my time away, there have been a few things that have been going on. Nothing too major. Just the usual crazy stuff to which I normally end up baring witness. Two, in particular, stood out and, instead of trying to figure out how to stretch each of them into individual posts, I decided smush them all together and hopefully come up with something worth our time together.

Ahem! I shall begin...

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The newest addition to the C Household, our puppy, Kawaii, is a growing girl. She recently got the hang of jumping onto and off of the living room furniture all on her own (“yaaaay” he said with no real excitement whatsoever). I was there for her first successful jump. She was so excited, she had to jump off and on again four or five times to make sure it wasn't a fluke.

Now she’s got her sights trained on our bed. Of course, she’s not allowed on the bed and, added to that, it’s a bit higher than the living room couch. But she’s determined. The other day she figured she’d have better luck if she took a running start (EDITOR'S NOTE: she’s a little too smart for her own good). She had the right idea but because of the limited space in the bedroom, she had to run in from another room at a parallel angle to the bed.

As you can see, essentially she was trying to pull off one of those high jumps you often see done in track and field events.
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Unfortunately, despite her planning and effort, it was obvious that she lacked natural grace and skill necessary to perform such a feat and she completely fell short of her goal. Both height and direction were a bit off.

I was there for that one too, just lying in bed, minding my own business when I heard feet thumping on the wooden floors as she came running up. Then, I saw the brown blur that was the top of her head. Our gaze met for a moment as she passed by and then... she was gone. Soon after came the sound of her sliding on said floor and crashing into the wardrobe.

It was as a result of that one act that I knew she was indeed a worthy member of this family.

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You know those moments when you question whether mankind is really worth saving? I had another one of those recently.

It was morning. An average day, like any other. I was walking through the city, on my way to work. My headphones were on, the music just loud enough to drown out the world around me. That was normal. I was late but this was also normal. Indeed, it was just an average day, just like any other day.

That's when I happened to notice the guy in front of me had his boxers sticking out of his sagging jeans. Not that this is anything new. You know how I feel about trends but this one in particular has been going strong for decades. Personally, I think it's stupid but my complaining about it won’t change it. Instead, I try not to pay attention to it.

I probably would have dismissed him too except I happened to notice he wasn't just letting his boxers stick out of his jeans. His boxers were actually sticking out of another pair of boxers that were sticking out of his jeans. I could tell! They were different colors!
Is this the new "thing"? Is this what all the kids are doing now? I can't keep up anymore.

The icing on this double-boxer cake was that this guy was actually making an effort to show it off – as evident by him having tucked the back of his t-shirt into the upper boxer. Also, he was strutting. He was actually proud!

I briefly considered turning around and going home because, at that point, I had had enough of outside for the day.

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To end things off, here are some blog posts I considered writing but decided against it when I realized the titles were only mildly more interesting than the actual posts themselves:

Of Mouse & Man - One man’s harrowing battle to blog and surf the internet while being hampered by a defective peripheral device.

My Application Letter to The X-Men - After getting caught in the rain four times in five days with not so much as a sniffle, I become convinced that I possess some sort of superhuman power.

My Application Letter to The Avengers - In case the X-Men aren’t hiring right now.

The Great Flood of 2014 - The time when Mrs C broke a pipe in the bathroom and all the hardware stores were closed for the evening.

A Little 'O This & A Little 'O That - Where I regale you with- Oh, wait, I wrote that one...

13 comments:

  1. In conclusion, dogs are funnier than idiots who are proud of their underwear. I bet the pipe story woulda beat it, too. I don't know about the Avengers, but I think there was a "Invulnerable To The Common Cold Lad" in the Legion of Super Heroes, but they haven't got a movie yet.

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    1. You know, when Iron Man & The Hulk are sneezing their heads off during flu season so bad they can't even fight, I bet they'll regret not taking me on.

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  2. Good to see you on the web again! First - Kawaii trying to get on the bed is adorable. Much more adorable than my sons 80lb Shepherd trying to sneak onto mine. I have a queen and he was literally measuring the unused space with his eyes before trying to occupy it. Also, he's decided that if his back feet are still on the floor then technically he isn't on the bed so you can holler "OFF" as much as you want it isn't happening.
    Second - the whole boxer trend makes no sense to me because how are you supposed to admire a male posterior like that, but at least it was a second pair of boxers hanging out of the first because I once got a fine show of extremely white ass crack covered in a lot of black hair and still haven't recovered from the trauma.

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    1. I think the mental imagery just traumatized me too. Also, I wouldn't put a trick like that past Kawaii, once she gets bigger. Like I said, too smart for her own good.

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  3. You know, if you take a video from your perspective on the bed, you could have a viral video on your hands. The internet loves self I destructive pets.
    Quite frankly, I'm impressed by double boxer guy. Underoos are expensive, why shouldn't he show them off!?! Especially if he can afford two pair at the same time. That's a status symbol.

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    1. It'll have to be a hidden camera though. Like me, she goes into instant awkward mode when she sees a camera pointing at her.

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  4. Double underwear? Where you live? Maybe where I live, but not where YOU live. :)

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    1. I know, right? I have a hard enough time staying perspiration-free with just the one pair on.

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  5. Oh, the poor puppy! Although the image did make me giggle :) We need to see a recent picture of her!

    So my cousin tells this story that when he was a kid, he was super lazy and didn't like to take showers. So he layered up several pairs of underwear and then he would strip off the top pair and lo and behold would still have on underwear. Apparently this saved him time of changing his underwear...which I'm guessing he didn't put together that the only pair that was really getting dirty was the innermost pair that didn't get changed? So maybe this is what the boxer guy was doing?? Good god I hope not, though :)

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    1. If I can get her to sit still for two seconds I'll try to get a decent picture.

      There are very few scenarios where I can imagine a guy needing a pair of backup underwear. Even then, I wearing them both at the same time seems like it would be counter-productive, if you ask me.

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  6. I don't allow the dog on my bed. Which is pretty close to Mrs. Penwasser's point of view. She doesn't want me on the bed, either.
    So, I have to wait until she falls asleep.

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    1. Now that you mention it, I always assumed Mrs C was practically pushing off the the bed every night was some type of extreme cuddling. Maybe she's trying to give me a subtle hint...

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  7. OMG! I hope that never happens to me. I mean trying to jump on the bed and not making it.

    Superheroes hiring. Very clever.
    And happy new year.

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