Monday, October 21, 2013

Conversations With Mrs. C - Passing The Time.

Mrs. C and I spend a lot of time emailing each other during the day, while we’re at our respective jobs. Usually, it’s because we’re bored or sleepy (or both) and need a little distraction. Sometimes, if we’re bored enough, the conversations can get really… interesting. Like this one we had this morning.

Mrs. C: Hey, how are things going?
Me: Quiet, cold & my hands are dry and peeling from all the laundry & dish washing yesterday.
Mrs. C: Is there anybody you can get hand cream from? The A/C will only make it worst.
Me: Yup. Took care of it.
Mrs. C: OK, so are things still quiet?
Me: Yup. Just to be sure, I've been evaluating the current situation & unless I actually give myself something to occupy my time, they're basically just going to have me sit around until things pick up next month.

This makes me feel uncomfortable... Paranoid, even.
Mrs. C: OK... Let's just try to keep d paranoia at bay, shall we?
Me: But what if this a test? What if this all about that "showing initiative" crap? What if they want to see what I'll do if they give me nothing to do? What if they're watching me... right. now? *looks over shoulder* *eyes nearby HR girls suspiciously*
Mrs. C: Did you take your valium* this morning?
Me: We have valium?!
Mrs. C: Oh my lawd, so you haven't been taking your meds?!  I think I have to call the guys in white for u. Remember I'm on this because I love you.
This is for your own good.
Me: Good luck! The regular elevators here are down & the only other ones have to be unlocked by security.

They'll never get me!!!
Mrs. C: Relax, relax! They just wanna talk to you. Don't you trust me? I love you, remember?
Me: Uh-huh... Nice try. I've known you for too long to fall for that.

Amazingly, neither of us have been called into any disciplinary meetings for our conversations... At least, not yet.

(*For the record, I'm not on valium and never have been. Whether or not I should be is a topic for another time.)

17 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  2. Paranoia is one of the survival methods. Thanks to it, I know a friend who has a coffee bunker just in case.

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    1. When global warming makes coffee extinct, that friend won't look so crazy then. Will he? Besides, you know what they say: "You're not paranoid if they're really out to get you." Right? Come to think of it, I am a little suspicious of this "they" people they're always quoting, though. How can we be so sure that we can really trust them?

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  3. She has NEVER called the guys in white for you? Or are you in fact writing this from your rubber room and exorcising your delusions? This may be a revelation.

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    1. How would I even be able to get my hands on a device I could use to blog from inside a rubber room? I mean, it's not like one could become friends with one of the orderlies who, in turn will let you keep your smartphone because you promise to stop biting other people on the ward and he knows you're not really a bad guy, just... confused sometimes.

      His name's Andrew. He's nice.

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  4. Haha. Read the story "The Unicorn in the Garden."

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    1. If she does have me locked up, it guess I'll have some extra time for reading. I can live with that.

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    2. "Don't count your boobies until they are hatched." PRICELESS!

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  5. I love coffee. Good thing Global Warming is just a Liberal myth.

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    1. It is? Well, I feel a lot better now.

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  6. Ha ha ha, you two are so cute :) And I think it's sweet that a married couple actually emails each other during the day! It seems like many of the married people I know do their best to ignore each other as much as possible throughout the day.

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    1. Trust me, I've tried... She always finds me.

      KIDDING!

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  7. You really should wear gloves when doing the dishes...

    (Thanks for the giggle)

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    1. Gloves? Gloves are for sissies! I do my dishes the manly way.

      Then I use a lot of moisturizer.

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  8. Your obsession about HR sounds JUST like me. :) I always get nervous when I see HR talking to my boss...I can't help but wonder, am I next?

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    1. It would be too distracting to get suspicious. They're always talking to my boss. Mostly because they're all pretty little 20-somethings and he's a 50-something... and maybe a little bit pervy.

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  9. You two are so cute. The fact that you communicate with each other is cool. Thanks for sharing the conversation. I look forward to these kinds of conversations with my husband one day. :-)

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