Wednesday, April 25, 2012

In Case You Hadn't Noticed...

I'm AWOL again. Landlady forgot to pay the nice internet people again so, like Neo popping that red pill, I've been once again forcibly ejected from my warm and cozy metallic pod, confused, scared and, yes, naked.

Don't ask.

I'm still working on getting my own internet but that's taking longer than planned.

But while that may limit my presence here in the ol' interwebz, it's not enough to stop me. Being exhausted from the crazy hours at work and the assignments heaped onto by my lecturers at school, that might be enough.

Nah! Not even all that.

So I'm here. In whatever limited capacity I can show up in. But I do come bearing a gift: a brand spanking new post over at Sprocket Ink! Thought it wasn't going to happen, did you? I know this isn't one of my usual days but I thought I'd mix it up a little. Keep you on your toes.

As always should you choose to accept this post (honestly, there's no reason not to) just click the link or the SI badge to the right and you're all set.

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Me, Myself & A Sterile Cup.

As you may or may not know, Mrs. C and I don't have children. We've been working on it for a few years and progress has been slow. I won't go into details about the cause, but Mrs. C's gynecologist is confident that this current round of treatment could have some positive results.

She's been seeing this particular doctor for some time and, of course, I've been going along for moral support. Or, as Mrs. C explained it to me:

Mrs. C: Other women are there with their husbands and if you think your only job is to stick a baby in there and you're done, you've got another thing coming, buddy! Now get dressed and let's go!

She can be very persuasive.

Anyway, she also wanted me there because her doctor is a man and she felt he enjoyed his job way too much. So my real purpose was to keep the good doctor focused on his job and not the-um-work site.

Two weeks ago we were sitting in his office. The doc told us she had remarkable progress and it was time to get the ball rolling.

Then he turned to me...

Doc: Now let's talk about you.
Me: Me? No, you got it all wrong. I'm just a spectator. Only here for moral support.
Doc: It makes no sense that we're going through all this only to find out you need help too. Agreed?
Me: I guess...
Doc: That's why I'm sending you to get some tests done.
Me: *Sigh*
Mrs. C: Relax, I'm sure it's nothing. For the greater good. Remember?

I'm one of those guys who hates getting tests of any kind done, for fear finding out there's something horribly wrong with me and I'm about to suffer a slow, agonizing death. Perfectly natural, right?

Anyway all the doc wanted me to do a sperm test and said I'd have to come back after I visited the lab to get it done. Then he said we had to abstain from sex for 3 - 4 days before I went.

Me: Huh?
Mrs. C: Huh?

Days went by and soon the next appointment was coming up. Mrs. C reminded me about the test with enough time and the abstinence began. It was tense around the house for few days but we managed to not kill each other.

Finally, I went to the lab. The first thing I noticed was that the staff were all female. I found this somewhat unnerving. I met with the doctor there. She took me into her office and gave me a sealed plastic cup. She told me I had two options: 1) take the cup, go home, do my "thing" and be back in 45 minutes after I was done. 2) just get it over with there and now in a small room in the back.

Being lazy, I chose the second option.

Alone, in the room I started to look around. I held up the cup and looked at it.

Me: Am I supposed to fill this whole thing? It's huge!
Also Me: I don't think so. Let's get this over with.
Me: I wonder how many other people have used this room? (*takes hand off counter*)
Also Me: EW! Don't think about that! Let's just get out of here already!
Me: Hold on. Maybe I should wait a little. I don't the doctor to get the wrong idea...
Also Me: Are you kidding me! What the hell difference does it make?
Me: I'm just sayin'... Anyway, why doesn't that wall go all the way up? The sound carries too well. I mean, right now I can hear high heels clicking on the tiles. Wait! Is that her? Is she outside waiting on me? Why is she pacing outside the door? Doesn't she have anything else to do?
Also Me: Well the man in charge is a pervert. It only makes sense...
Me: You know know what? Maybe I should just get this over with.
Also Me: About damn time...

Not too long after that the deed was done. I hold up the cup again.

Me: That's it?
Also Me: Wow! That's pathetic.
Me: After four days... That's all? It's barely even reaching the first notch on the side.
Also Me: Look, just forget it and let's go.
Me: Maybe if waited a few minutes I could try again and add some more.
Also Me: Ha! Good one!
Me: It could happen!

The debate ended and I went back into her office. She took the cup labeled it and I paid and left. The results were to be faxed directly to Mrs. C's doctor so I don't know them. All the same, I still hate tests. 

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

The Return Of Anime Catgirl.

I'm not really here today. I'm over at Sprocket Ink where I made another drawing of my anime catgirl. Just one, but she's there.

Plus, there's a story there that I wrote too, fyi. It's sort of a disturbing one, but I won't give anything away here.

You know the drill. Follow the link and get your read on.

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Multiple Sightings.

We have received numerous reports of multiple sightings of the blogger known as Vinny C.

Eyewitnesses have claimed that he has been simultaneously sighted on his blog as well as on Sprocket Ink and Studio 30 Plus.

While some call it an invasion, AVCI contacted various experts of the interwebz to provide a possible explanation to this phenomenon.

"We think he may have mutated due to over exposure to a highly concentrated combination of caffeine, internet and free time," one scientist said.

Authorities are urging the public to not panic, stating that following the the various links to where he was sighted seems to keep the spread at bay.

"Now-now! There's no need to get all worked up here people. Our advisers guarantee that Vinny's intentions are friendly and he means us no harm." a senior political figure stated as he (and several prostitutes) were being quickly escorted into his bunker.

AVCI will be monitoring the phenomenon and will update you on any further developments.

Friday, April 6, 2012

Finding Love Online... The Fun Way.

Once upon a time, long, long ago, I was single. I try to forget about those days. Let's just say I wasn't known for my swagger and smooth moves back then. Actually, I'm still not known for them. Sigh...

The dating world was tough. You needed money to take a girl out. You had to wade through all the obsessive psychos, liars, control freaks, and so on, and so on... It also involved having to do two things I've never been a fan of: going out and meeting people.

I much preferred staying in and playing video games, instead.
Online dating wasn't around yet and, luckily, I met Mrs. C before I ever had my turn at that roulette wheel, so I never had to go through that. I've heard more than a fair share of the horror stories people have told about their adventures with that though.

Nope, video games worked just fine for me.

When I started playing World of Warcraft I actually made a few friends there. A guild I belonged to even had a married couple who met playing WoW and another pair who eventually decided to meet and start dating.

Somehow, it just seemed easier to find compatibility with fellow gamers, I guess. Plus it was easier to avoid the freaks. Just don't go into Goldshire late at night. Trust me. There's just something really unnerving about a horny druid in bear form talking dirty to you.

To show you what I mean Tony Shin and his team from the Online University  went out, compiled the stats and put together this cool retro-game themed graphic that shows you why it's better to stay locked in your room, playing online video games instead of staying locked in your room trawling online dating sites.



Gamers Get Girls
Created by: OnlineUniversity.net


What more needs to be said. So stay home and take your death knight up to level 85. Don't worry about finding love and it will find you... probably in the form of a peppy Gnome priest who makes sure she heals you first during all your raids together.


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Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Always Remember - Great Expectations Issue.

In life, sometimes our greatest expectations...








Can lead to our greatest disappointments.

Want more words? Head on over to my latest post on Sprocket Ink. You won't be sorry... or will you?

Click here.

Sunday, April 1, 2012

Vines.

Vines grow everywhere in our backyard.
They spread quickly and can thrive in the worst conditions. And, of course, they're hard to get rid of. When I think I've pulled them all, there's this one tiny root stuck in a crack in the wall that's waiting until the coast is clear to spread again. It's a never ending fight.

Vines can only feed off the strength of others. If there no other plants or anything else to cling to, no matter how far they spread, they're stuck on the ground. But when they find a plant, or wall, or anything that rises above them, they grab onto it, hold it tight and follow it up as far as it goes.
Some people are like vines. When someone starts growing on your own strength they try to latch onto you and climb as far as your efforts will take them.
But vines are smart. They've learned they can't totally choke you out. They've realized they can't reach the heights they want to if you're not there to keep them up. They need you. So they let you continue to grow. But your growth is slowed now because your vines are weighing you down.
The irony is, when vines do reach as high as they need to, they actually have the potential to achieve something, in their own small way and finally get the attention they want.
Vines are survivors. You can't argue that. But it's a sad existence. They can only shine if they can climb up on the shoulders of others.