Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Conversations With Mrs. C - Work Emails & Disciplinary Reviews.


Sometimes, when my wife is at work, she need to reach out to me to help her get through the monotony of the day. For this she'll send me a quick email from her work station, between customers. As any good husband will, I do my best to help her get through her day. Take this email conversation we had last week as an example:

Mrs. C: How is my huzzie doin’?
Me: Just settling down to study. And you, wife of mine?
Mrs. C: Well I'm fine now that you asked. Thank you for your support, hon. (I gave her some advice on something that morning. I can't remember what.)
Me: You mean how I held your boobs for you this morning? Any time! ;) (I also did that that morning too. Come to think of it, I do that almost every morning.)
Mrs. C: Hey!!! Keep it PG rated. On my work computer remember. Lol! (As I said, she works in a bank. Their systems passively monitor EVERYTHING that goes on on staff computers.)
Me: I know. Just giving them something interesting to read.
Mrs. C: Uhmm....
Me: So, you got in on time? (Note how I skillfully change the subject.)
Mrs. C: Yeah, yeah. No probs there.

A few minutes pass...

Mrs. C: I think this bra is too tight. My chest is hurting. At least, I hope that's the cause. Sigh!
Me: I thought we weren't going to talk about your boobs here. (In my defense, she was the one who took it back there.)
Mrs. C: I didn't I said bra, talk about a one track mind, uhmmm....
Me: Well, excuse me. Is it your bra that's hurting, or what's inside? I rest my case.
Mrs. C: I said my "chest" one track mind much?
Me: Same difference.
Mrs. C: No, big diff! It's not what's in my bra that's hurting it's my actual chest. The center. Perv!
Me: Oh...
So then we're talking about your cleavage then? Is that allowed?
Mrs. C: You’re hopeless! *throw hands up in d air in surrender*
Me: Better recognize!

Needless to say, she isn't overly concerned with her boring workday anymore. I guess she's too busy worrying about one day being called into a meeting over her using the company email for her inappropriate conversations.

14 comments:

  1. And the moral of the story is...boobs make everything better.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. As far as I'm concerned, that's always the moral of the story.

      Delete
  2. Awww I miss having someone at work to have inappropriate conversations with!! (that sounded bad didn't it?)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Not at all. In my experience, inappropriate conversations at work help make the day more tolerable. Probably one of the reasons I'm unemployed at the moment.

      Delete
    2. ouch. I won't go there. I won't go there. :)

      Delete
    3. That's alright. But, by the looks of things, I'm not as restricted about where I go.

      Delete
  3. "If I had them, I'd never leave the house" (Steve Martin)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I feel the same way...

      Mostly because I'd feel really weird trying to put on a bra...

      Okay, maybe that's not *mostly* the reason.

      Delete
  4. Mrs. C needs to email me while at work. She can keep me entertained while I am confined to my bed.

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    Replies
    1. H-her? But, from this conversation you can see that, clearly, I'm the fun one.

      Aren't I?

      Delete
  5. This is the reason I am very glad to no longer be working for any company that stalks me in internet code.

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    Replies
    1. In one place I worked they weren't sophisticated as the banks. Their version of cyber snooping was the boss walking up & casually (not really) looking at your monitor as he passed by.

      Delete
  6. Boobs... the cure for everything!

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    Replies
    1. They always make *me* feel better.

      Delete

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