Thursday, June 30, 2011

Animals Iz Funny! - Now With Words.

You guessed it! It's Sprocket Ink time! Click the link and go check it out. From the title you can guess that I'm talking animals again and you won't believe what I came across while scouring the web for news to bring to you. When I found this story, I instantly fell in love with it. Let's just say it's about a tiny bug that won a big title in an unusual way. Cryptic, I know. Best you head on over to Sprocket Ink & find out. It's called When Animals Dick Around and, yes, there is a play on the words involved in the title. Trust me, you won't believe this one.


Would you guys believe my internet cut out again? This time it happened about an hour before I posted while I had an unfinished story on schedule.

This was followed by a lot of swearing, packing, running, swearing, yelling and more swearing as threw on some clothes and I scrambled to an internet cafe (the closest one being 20 minutes away) to update the finished post that I had typed on my computer.

Then I had to wait another 10 minutes because all the systems were occupied.

Son. of. a. bitch!

Honestly! Did that girl really have nothing better to do but stare, all dreamy-eyed, at some guy's Facebook profile photo for a whole 4 and a half minutes..? And then buy extra time so she could continue just staring at his picture? Really?!

Anyway, I managed to get online and make the changes... About 3 minutes after the unfinished story went up!

SIGH!!!

It is for you, dear readers, I have made this effort. That being the case, it would be remiss of you to not go over and see what all the fuss was about. Wouldn't it? Besides, the story's totally worth it, trust me.

Let my sacrifice not be in vain.

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

I Heart Japan!

Yeah! That's what I said. And I meant it too. Japan is like geek Mecca. Japanese anime is (duh) from Japan, Know what else is from there? Nihonshu (also known as Japan Sake).
Wine from rice. Awesome!
Some of the best video game designers ion the world are from where? That's right! Japan. The samurai come from Japan. And don't for get ninjas! We all love ninjas, right?

And you want to know what else I love about Japan? Well go over to Sprocket Ink to find out.

Forget what I said. Japan isn't geek Mecca. Japan is geek heaven!!!

Monday, June 27, 2011

A Complete Disgrace

This one’s going to be on the ranty side.

There’s this local program here called "Crime Watch" that started here a few months ago. On this show the host goes up and down the country shining a very bright spotlight on criminal activity going on in T&T. He’ll tackle anything, from shoplifting, to car theft, to robbery and even murder. He seems wantonly disregard his own safety as he points fingers, and names names. If he has a wanted criminal’s photo or a recorded video of a crime, he runs it without hesitation and he's constantly taking politicians to task.

Basically, thee dude’s insane. But he’s the kind of insane we may need right now. Perhaps sitting back and idly saying nothing is what has earned us the horrendous murder we have right now. What is sure is that he has been stepping on a lot of toes (Did I mention he takes on crooked cops too?).

Anyway, it was on this show that I first heard about the story of a seventeen year old school girl being thrown into a drainage ditch and beaten by another girl from the same school. And, since we now live in an age where everyone has a video recording device in their pockets, the incident was captured by someone and uploaded to the web. Below is the video clip. If you’re going to view it, be warned that it’s not pretty. Someone decided to add rap music to it and the actual beating is about 2½ minutes in. If you do watch, I recommend skipping to that part.


If you’re like me this gets you right in that spot that makes your eye twitch and veins in your head bulge.

A local paper ran the story soon afterward, giving the victim’s account. In it, the story goes that she and her attacker were friends for several years until that “friend” got mixed up in the wrong company. They got into petty arguments after that that caused the victim to break off the friendship. On the last day of end of term exams, the victim got word of her now former friend’s intention to confront her. She tried to avoid the conflict but was unsuccessful. The other girl and other members of the gang she had joined followed her, jeering. Then, when the victim finally got a taxi to stop and tried to get in they blocked her and that is when the beating began.

What the hell!?! I’m upset that it even happened, to begin with. I know, school fights aren’t new or even rare, but that doesn’t make it acceptable, far less, right. If the victim’s side is really how it went down then this attack was unprovoked. That former friend was simply doing it for the sake of fitting in with her new so-called “friends”.

To top it off, the full video (not this one) shows another person joining in on the beating soon afterward. This wasn’t another member of the gang the friend had joined and not another student either. Hell, she wasn’t even in the same age group. She was actually identified a twenty-seven year old cousin of the assailant.

TWENTY-SEVEN!?! What the hell is an adult, almost in her thirties, doing getting involved in this other than to break it up? (Which no one attempted to do, by the way.) Actually, no, that woman should be ashamed to even call herself an adult.

These things don’t make sense. There’s no reason. They are nothing more than a grim manifestation of human beings’ desire to inflict damage on each other for no other reason than inflicting it. This kind of distress makes us want to consider locking our children in the house so they can make it to the end of the day in one piece.

Sunday, June 26, 2011

Her Voice.

It penetrates my defenses. It reaches me even when I don’t want it to. When I’m upset and want to be alone, it breaks through the walls I’ve put up. When I would rather be inside my own head it disrupts my focus.

Sometimes, when we’re at home, she calls my name. She doesn’t always intend for me to hear when she does but I always do. No matter how softly she says it or how many rooms separate us, I can always hear her call my name. Her voice has a way of reaching me in a way nothing else can.

Even worse is when she sings. When she does, all hope is lost for me. I can’t think, I can’t focus, I can’t hear anything but her voice. Of course, she sings all the time. It’s her passion. It calms her and to be honest, she’s good at it. She used to lead the choir in the church we went to and has joined the team in the new one we started going to.

To get an idea of what I have to deal with I'm sharing one of her songs (With her permission, of course) from when she was putting together a gospel demo CD over ten years ago. After the effort and expense we put ourselves through, the DJ’s here basically said her style wasn’t “local” sounding enough. They’re fools, if you ask me. 


Happy Birthday, babe. No matter what the situation, I’ll never get tired of hearing your voice.


Saturday, June 25, 2011

Just Where Have You Been This Week? - Having Fun With Pictures.

This wrap up's going to be a quickie. Mostly since I haven't really posted much this week. I've been really busy and that's due to the fact that we're moving in less than a month. Yeah. And, since I'm the one who's at home, I've gotten started on the packing. I'll say this much, we have an unnatural amount of kitchenware for three people.


- On Wednesday I accepted a blog award from Antares Cryptos in honor of my geekiness and I had some fun playing with some pics from my computer. On Thursday I phoned it in with a non-post (Trust me, it's not even worth linking).

- Then, of course I had my two articles at Sprocket Ink on Tuesday and Thursday where I looked into a recent scientific study into the worst sound in the world and I had some more fun with pictures while discussing "natural" stupidity.

And that's it, basically.

Next week, though, I hit the ground running with a little something special I'm auto-posting tomorrow morning. Be sure look out for that.

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Animals Iz Funny.

Hey, guess what. I've got a new article up at Sprocket Ink. Yeah! It's there right now. Honest! Then you'll find out what the title's all about. Plus, as a bonus, I've been having fun with pictures again. Go on and see what it's all about.

So... ummm... yeah. That's it. Nothing more to see here today. It's all over at Sprocket today.

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Uh-Huh! That's What He Called Me.

I did an article over on Sprocket Ink yesterday. I didn't get to tell you guys sooner because five minutes after posting it my internet went out. It had been running slowly since Monday and I guess it finally just gave up. This is how that whole experience made me feel:



I gave up checking on it around 8:00PM last night and watched some TV instead. Anyway, it looks like the cable company fixed whatever was wrong because this morning it was back and running at full speed.

In other news, it appears that I am a geek. No, really! I'm just as surprised as you are. Antares Cryptos confirmed it when he gave me this:
He's pretty smart. He talks about all kinds of cool sciency stuff. On top of that, he's a really clever blogger too. So if he says I'm a geek, I'm a geek. Although...


I'm not quite sure where he got that idea...
My actual desktop.
As I mentioned TV, Got a chance to catch up on my anime programs:
Have you ever seen this? It's awesome!

Oh yeah! I forgot to mention I reclaimed my trophy:
Mission Accomplished!!!
Nope! No idea where he got that I might be a geek...

Anyway, Thanks AC. It looks good on the wall. And you guys be sure to go check out that story over at Sprocket Ink.



Saturday, June 18, 2011

Just Where Have You Been This Week? - Keeping Myself Busy.

Another week over, another weekly wrap up. Lets jump right in, shall we?


Before I get started, I'd like to say a special thanks to the wonderful Vicki from Glitter Frog for my second Tuesday Toss-Up commenter award:


For those of you who don't know, she gives these out once a week to the best commenter on her TTU posts. Want one? Got what it takes? Go flex your commenting muscles and one of these could yours too. Trust me, it looks really nice on the wall.

I've been busy this week on the blogging front as well:

- On Tuesday I mused at a possible career path for myself.

- I tried to play philosopher on Wednesday.

- On Thursday I was taken aback by the discovery of yet another crime of fashion. I'll caution you before you enter this one. It's not pretty.

- Friday... Well, to be honest, I'm not sure what the hell happened on Friday. But it involved Lacy & Diane (Where you got to see a side of Diane you've never seen before) for those of you that are interested.

Of course, we can't forget my weekly posts over at Sprocket Ink on Tuesday and Thursday.


First, on Tuesday I did an ad for a new vacation concept. I think it could really take off.

On Thursday I put in a little overtime & posted both the breaking news of a pervy politician's resignation and then I shared about one guys attempt at a do it yourself medical procedure.

You don't want to miss out on any of those, believe me.

And that, as they say, is a wrap. Tune in next week for more. I won't guarantee it'll be something sane but it'll be something.

Later.

Friday, June 17, 2011

Girls' Day Out

I sat down to write a post sharing my thoughts on the meaning of life and my theories on what could possibly bring a compete end to war, world hunger and reality television.

Then I got bored and drew a toon of Lacy:


Then I forgot what I was going to write about. The hours after that were a blur but the following is the result.

I apologize in advance:

********

In an effort to end the hostilities between them, Lacy took Diane out for a day on the town. Their first stop was to help Diane pick out a new wardrobe:






















UPDATE: Continued here.

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Someone? Anyone? Please Explain.

Got a new article for y'all over at Sprocket Ink. No, really! It's there. Go see for yourselves.


In searching for stories for my weekly slots over at Sprocket I sometimes run into more stories than I can use in a single week. Today I also came across this:

AAGH! My eyes!!!

They're called "Junderpants". From the clever (Not so much) naming you can guess that they're underpants designed to look like jeans shorts. They've already been out a few months from what I understand so you may have already have heard of (And unfortunately, seen) them. But they're news to me.

Holy freakin' crap! Why, people? This is a sure sign that society is crumbling.

Ladies, you're not left out from this magical experience too. Behold:

Now that's classy right there.
I'm going to go wash my eyes out with some acid or something now.

Want more weird? Of course you do! head on over to my post at Sprocket Ink (With less traumatizing photos). Promise!

[UPDATE: The link has been repaired. Thanks AC]

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Warrior, Philosopher... And Shameless Sellout.

The other day I was leaving Port of Spain, the capital city, heading home after doing some errands. I was passing by a local big-name sporting goods store that was part of a chain of local big-name clothing stores (I’ll call names when they pay me to do so). I don’t really know why but I decided go in and to do some browsing. I’m not what you’d call a window-shopping kind of guy. I guess it was because it was still pretty early in the day and I didn’t really have much to do at home. Maybe it was because they’re normally known for having top quality items at insanely reasonable prices (A mere sample of what their advertising dollar could get them).

Anyway, my browsing got me all the way up to the second floor. That’s where I saw it:

Why, hello. Haven't seen you around here before.

I have mentioned in the past that I was into Thai-boxing for six years before I met Mrs. C. I’ve always had what I call a warrior’s spirit. I’m fascinated by various forms of martial arts and combat. I have every intention of getting back into it one day. I think this baby will be a good way to help me get back into fighting form. I even took my wife into the same store and showed it to her a few days later when we were in the city together.

Me: This is what you’re getting me for Christmas.
Her: That? Okay.

She seemed unimpressed. I think there’s something wrong with her.

Here's another thing that you may or may not know about me. I have this habit of deriving metaphors for life from a lot of things I experience. My years on the Thai-boxing gym are no exception. Here are some examples:

Thai-Boxing: Hitting a wooden dummy repeatedly (Or concrete wall if you can't wait until the dummy is free) to toughen your knuckles, forearms and shins hurts at first. A lot! This is because your bones are soft and not used to the constant impacting against harder objects than. Also, if your technique is wrong you can cause damage to yourself.

Life Lesson: There are negative situations in life that we must put ourselves through in order to become stronger. While we may not enjoy the experience of this development, it is necessary in order to be able to deal with these situations when they come up again.

Eventually, once you keep at it, you soon realize that the wall doesn’t feel as hard as it used to. This is because you’ve grown stronger.

Thai-boxing: Learning a martial arts stance is difficult and uncomfortable. With practice, though, it becomes natural.

Life Lesson: Developing yourself in any area can have the same effect. You will have growing pains when you when you are adjusting to a new situation.

Thai-boxing: No matter how good you are, you will be thrown or you will fall. You are trained to adjust your body so that you might sustain the minimum amount of damage when you impact the ground. I say again, you will fall!

Life Lesson: In life outside the ring falls - both figuratively and literally - will happen. It's best to learn how to brace for impact.

Thai-boxing: (Not so much) The owner of the gym knew other forms of martial arts and gave us some sample lessons in various weapons. He said that, among all the students, I had a natural talent for weapons, especially swords. This didn’t stop one of the other students who was training there longer than I was to kick my ass.

Life Lesson: No amount of natural talent can make up for someone who practices and works hard at the same thing. Especially if you don't.

I'll stop there. If you happen to be the owner of a local chain of big-name clothing/sporting goods stores, have your people call my people. We'll work something out.

But, in conclusion, I think I think too much.

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Possible Career Choice - Disembodied Voice Scripter.

You know those movies where the building or ship has a disembodied voice giving out PSA's and warnings to people inside. You know, like:

"Warning! Base will self destruct in T-minus 10 seconds. Please proceed to the nearest evacuation point."

Yeah, like that.

Well I think I'd be good at writing the scripts for these voices. Just take a look at some past examples herehere and here.

I know, right?! I could totally do that. And if you're still not convinced just take a look at my most recent attempt from today's Sprocket Ink post. See what I mean for yourself. I could totally kick that job's ass!


So, if you're building a secret base, secret lab or battle/space ship, give me a call. If there's one thing you don't need is your less intelligent minions standing around during an attack and wondering what that annoying alarm sound is all about. Dumb as they are, you can't afford to waste money on minion retraining in this economic climate. Trust me.

Saturday, June 11, 2011

Just Where Have You Been This Week? - Bored Out Of My Mind.

Since the last time I was in this particular situation I've rediscovered something about unemployment.

It. is. freaking. boring!

I mean, the lack of income is one thing. The last time we managed for those few months with her income alone (barely) and she was making less then. The situation now isn't ideal, income-wise but we can squeeze by until I find something else.

Anyway, I'm not here to talk about that today. It's time for my weekly account of what I've been up to.


- To start, on Monday, I shared a really weird dream I had. There were bees, imaginary people and a dead rap star. Like I said, weird.

- Tuesday I shared a little secret about Mrs. C that I'm not too proud of. SIGH!

- On Thursday I posted without actually posting. It kinda makes sense, I guess.

- Of course, Tuesday and Thursday also had me posting over at Sprocket Ink.

My Tuesday article I talked a really awesome out of control sweet 16 birthday party. Then, on Thursday, we looked into some of the more unscrupulous tactics being used by a certain dictator who just won't go away.

********

And that's a wrap! Since I'm out of that funk I was in the week before you can expect that there will be more to come (Way to not put pressure on yourself, Vinny!) Tune in next week for more.

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Another PSA From AVCI.

Welcome to AVCI.

Due to severe brain atrophy brought on by the boredom of being at home all day, every day this week, management regrets to inform you that there will be no post here today. We apologize for this inconvenience and hope you are not too adversely affected as a result.

We have, however, provided supplementary support at Sprocket Ink to assist you in attaining your necessary reading requirements.


Thank you for choosing AVCI.

(Creating WTF moments since 2010)

Goodbye.

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Her Obsession.

Tuesday's here!!! So you know what that means, right? You do know what it means... Right? What's that? My new post up at Sprocket Ink this morning? Great! You remembered. You had me worried there for a sec. The direct link th the story's below, at the end of the post.  Go on check it out.


Now I need to share something. I have often mentioned my obsessions: coffee, video games, etc. But I’ve never disclosed a somewhat deep, dark secret lurking in my loving wife’s closet.

Him:

Mrs. C loves her some Tim McGraw! A fact that was brought to painful remembrance that night of the recent Idol finale. Actually, to say she’s obsessed with him might be putting it mildly. I’m fairly certain that she would barely hesitate to kill me in my sleep if it meant she'd get a chance to meet him. She even knows the lyrics to his songs! Not entirely impossible for a two-thirds black, one-third Venezuelan, born and raised in the Caribbean...

But you got to admit it seems a tiny bit far fetched.

I’ve always known of this and I knew she was, in fact, settling for me since the vast distance between them. Still, I look to the day when she can look at me with the same desire in her eyes that she shows Tim.

Maybe I need a cowboy hat.
One day, perhaps.


Anyway that story over at Sprocket Ink is waiting. As an added bonus, I'll let you in on a little something. I've been drawing again. Really! Go check it out.

Monday, June 6, 2011

I’m Sure I Brushed My Teeth That Night.

First off let me say that I’m not making any of this up. Not a word. The other night I had a really strange dream. I don’t normally remember my dreams this vividly but I did remember this one. And, boy, was it ever a doozie!

********

I, my wife and Mrs. C's Asian bff, Sue-Li, went to an outdoor costume party. I was dressed as a thugged-out gangsta (HOLLA!), Mrs. C was a rich socialite (I didn't even know they provided chiwawas for your handbags with the costumes) and Sue-Li was a hillbilly. As you could see, we all matched perfectly.

We got to the party but before it even got into full swing, it ended up being raided by an army of angry, man-sized bees who apparently had decided to declare war on mankind. It seemed the grounds where the party was being held was picked as the site for their forward base. (Who coordinates these things?! I hate when events clash like that.)

Anyway, I went over to the bees’ main tent (Why not a hive? I don’t know) and attempted negotiation with the bees (Because... who else is gonna do it?). But they weren’t having any of it. Orders were signed-off, funds were committed and such. It was simply too late to turn back now. As it turned out, staging a war on mankind proved a logistical nightmare and they were terribly disorganized (Go figure!). Before I could object I was quickly ushered out of their tent so they could get back to work. As I rejoined the others we could see trucks with large chemical-filled tankers hitched, rolling in. It seemed a lot more bug spray than they really needed, if you ask me.

The humans were more organized. Hands down.

It was at that point that we decided the party was probably going to be lame. So we left.

As we were leaving, I noticed a strange, tricked-out bus – custom chrome rims and all – parked on the other side of the road. We walked towards it and standing in front of it was none other than Tupac Shakur. The bus was apparently his and he was looking very smug and proud of himself. Mr. Shakur invited us to sit on the curb and “conversate” with him. My wife wanted a closer look at the bus so Sue-Li and I went over to where he had just sat down. Tupac complimented Sue-Li on her hillbilly costume. He didn’t notice mine, which made me kinda sad. But then he shared a pack of very tasty tortilla chips with me so it was all good.

It soon became obvious that Tupac was enamored in Sue-Li and he asked me if we were a couple. In response, I did that head-point-whateverit’scalled-gesture to Mrs. C over by the bus. The way she looked in her long, sequined dress with flawless hair and makeup, it was my turn to look smug.

Tupac: Word?
Me: Word.
Tupac: My dawg!!!

We fistbumped. It was awesome.

The dream more or less ended with Tupac letting me be his wingman as he then tried to woo hillbilly Sue-Li. She, as it happens, was not opposed to dating a rap superstar. Even if he is dead.

********

I’ve never been good at figuring out the meanings of dreams. This one has leaves me with two lingering questions:

- Who is Sue-Li? She doesn’t exist in real life. My wife doesn’t have any Asian girlfriends (Not that she’s got anything against them, she just never had the opportunity, I guess).


- Why did I wake up with the taste of tortilla chips on my breath?

Saturday, June 4, 2011

Just Where Have You Been This Week? - At Home, In Bed. Why?

This isn't going to be much of a recap, I'm afraid. I spent the first half of this week getting used to just staying home and, believe it or not, doing nothing is a very time consuming. I'm just not too sure what I did with the time, really.
As I said, I haven't been up to much this week.

- On Tuesday, I gave a brief educational post on T&T's local holiday on Monday which went on while some of you guys observed Memorial Day.

- On Thursday, I declared that I'm officially over the whole job loss depression nonsense... And I meant it too.

Plus I've been selected for jury service. Oh joy.

- But this week wasn't a waste. Not in the least. I do actually have something to show for myself. Honest! On Tuesday and Thursday I did my twice weekly over at Sprocket Ink.

Tuesday's article has snakes in it. With pictures! I'm not the biggest fan of these guys but I actually felt a little sorry for how they were treated.

Thursday, dealt with internet security of major companies - or the lack thereof.

If you haven't been over to Sprocket yet I recommend you click on either - or both - of the links and have a look-see. Trust me. Totally worth it.

Thursday, June 2, 2011

I Was Gone For A Bit.

I would like to suggest you click on the following link and head on over to my second weekly post at Sprocket Ink. There aren't any-um-s. n. a. k. e. s. there this time you don't have anything to worry about. Promise!

I was absent yesterday. From more-or-less everything. It was my first day of official unemployment (again) and I must admit that I didn't take it as well as I could have. I thought I could just shake it off and keep on truckin'. Instead, I basically I spent the entire day wallowing in self-pity. Not exactly how I planned it.

I've been battling a case of the old writer's block as well and haven't been feeling very bloggy. I am, however, happy to report that I'm over it. I'm feeling back to my old self and ready to rumble. I think the breaking point came when, around 2:30pm yesterday, I realized the funny taste in my mouth was because I didn't brush my teeth for the entire day. And I didn't care! I just stayed there in bed.

This morning I shaved and clipped my nails - which I hadn't done since my meeting last Monday with the asshole formerly called "Bossman" (No, I'm not still holding a grudge. Why do you ask?) I've completely ditched the whole crazy mountain hermit/Charlie Manson thing I had going on.
Okay, maybe I didn't look this bad. But close.
I do, however, attribute the twigs and leaves in my hair to the numerous grackle attacks I suffered during the long weekend. I swear, it's like they were out for me or something.

Anyway, I dealt with my issues the way I normally do. I wrote an angry letter. It wasn't addressed to any one in particular. I just spew out all of the confused, angry thoughts. I know, weird, but it's my process. I'm not going to subject you to it, though so don't worry. There are some things in life we just don't need to share. The main thing is that, this morning, that I'm feeling like my old self. 

Then there was a knock on the door. Seems I've been selected for jury service.

Out.standing...

Oh, and don't forget. I've got a post over at Sprocket Ink. I totally suggest you go check it out. Totally.