Mrs. C: I had a really weird dream last night.
Me: Do tell. (She knows I'll probably blog it later. It's understood)
Mrs. C: I was at work. It was early morning because a coworker (name I don't remember) was making a breakfast run and he asked me if I wanted anything. I asked him what they were getting and he said he was going to the get some stuff from the pie (name of local breakfast pastry) vendor on the corner. He said the vendor had the usual pies: cheese and beef pies and so on. But she also had something called 'baby'.
Mrs. C: Yeah, I know, right? Not a name you'd really give to something to eat. Anyway, I was curious so I told him to bring me a baby and I gave him my $5.
Me: Never saw you as the adventurous type.
Mrs. C: Shut up! Anyway, he came back soon after with everyone's pies.
Me: I almost don't want to ask. What kind of pie is a 'baby'?
Mrs. C: It wasn't a pie. It was an actual baby.
Me: (*Laughing! Hard!*) Did you eat it?
Mrs. C: OF COURSE NOT!!! I just put it to sit on the kitchen table in front of me. I didn't know what to do.
Me: (*Still laughing*) I never knew babies were so easy to get. And they cost only $5 too.
Mrs. C: Go ahead. Make your jokes. But that wasn't the worst part.
Me: There's more?
Mrs. C: Yeah! I don't know how, but it got away from me. Next thing I know, it's running around slicing people's feet on their Achilles tendons. WITH A SCALPEL!!!
Me: (*Long pause. Considers making joke about eating your baby before it goes bad. Abandons idea for more pertinent question*) Where did the baby find a scalpel? You work in a bank.
Mrs. C: I DON'T KNOW!!! Anyway, now I have to try and catch it.
Me: I bet. It wouldn't look good on your next review if you let a psycho baby kill your coworkers.
Mrs. C: No. I wanted to carry the baby back to the vendor and exchange it for a cheese pie instead.
Me: I guess that would take care of your problem. You were probably still hungry.
Mrs. C: Probably.