I saw this posted on the notice board in the kitchen at work:
Since I saw it, this sign has been all I could think about. It has filled me with questions. In fact, my mind has been swarming with questions that I simply cannot come up with the answers to.
- I do not own a vehicle. If I were still interested, what would happen then?
- If there were consequences, would they be the same if I had a vehicle, but wasn't interested?
- Could I still qualify if I lacked either or both? If so, how?
- Did you even notice that missing “E”? Or did you choose to ignore it? Perhaps this is your way of exerting your own free will and taking a stand against the confines of oppressive social norms and conventions...
And proper spelling.
- Are there guidelines for what I should be interested in? Could it be music or poetry or butterflies?
- What are the rules exactly?
- Have you succeeded in the art of dressing yourself yet?
- What level of management are you currently working in? It's a small company so I know we've met, but this note could have come from any one of you.
- Was the pink highlighter your first choice or did you line them all up in a row and select one at random. Or was some sort of process of elimination used, perhaps?
- Does it hurt when the doctor drops you on your head at birth? I've always wondered about this as I don't know how developed our senses are so early in life. I'm sure it's possible for one to remember an experience so profound. Do you?
- I noticed that the word “with” is the only word that is not in uppercase letters. What message are you trying to send us?
So many questions left unanswered by your message.
I will find you.
I must know.