From time to time I like to go over my old posts. Not for any narcissistic reasons, though. It's just that it allows me to maintain some perspective as to where this blogger-brick road is taking me. Like so many others, I've called this my personal therapy session from time-to-time and I actually have discovered quite a few things about myself through blogging.
But I've begun to notice other things. Certain aspects of my personality that, before blogging, would have gone unnoticed have begun to reveal themselves to me as I reveal them to everyone else. To properly articulate what I'm trying to describe, I composed a little mock interview with my pre-blog self which I feel describes the me that I see emerging. The answers are compiled of little bits and pieces from my past blog posts and comment responses:
Pre-Blog Me: So, tell me your name.
Blogger Me: Vinny C.
Pre-Blog Me: Okay. And tell me...
Blogger Me: Or you can also call me Major Über Zap.
Pre-Blog Me: Sorry, what?
Blogger Me: Major Über Zap. Master of static electricity, scourge of metrosexuals, spoiled brats and permissive parents everywhere and ever-watchful guardian against alien attack. But you don't have to say any of that other stuff. Just Major Über Zap.
Pre-Blog Me: Ooookaay... So you're a superhero, then? Well, I guess that explains the cape anyway. I guess that means you have powers?
Blogger Me: Yes. I can google info like nobody's business.
Pre-Blog Me: That's not really an impressive super-power.
Blogger Me: I wasn't done! I also store massive amounts of static electricity which, initially, used to cause me to get zapped from doorknobs and filing cabinets but I can now unleash upon my foes.
Pre-Blog Me: I see. Interesti...
Blogger Me: Through spankings.
Pre-Blog Me: Huh?
Blogger Me: I give static electric spankings. I call them “Shock-Spanks”.
Pre-Blog Me: Hmmm...
Blogger Me: Also, if I come up against a really tough opponent I can boost my powers with the help of coffee. I call those “Cafe-Au-Shock-Spank”.
Pre-Blog Me: …
Blogger Me: What?
Pre-Blog Me: Let's just move on, okay. Do you have any weaknesses?
Blogger Me: Um, yes, Japan.
Pre-Blog Me: You're weak against an entire country?
Blogger Me: Uh-huh, mostly. Well, to be more specific, when I come into contact with anything from Japanese pop-culture I become a lazy, useless geek of a nerd.
Pre-Blog Me: Sounds unpleasant. So tell me, as a superhero I suspect you have enemies.
Blogger Me: Yes, I do. Many. But my arch-nemeses are called Boss Man and Boss Lady. They're a husband/wife team. I do battle with them every Monday to Friday.
Pre-Blog Me: Sounds tough.
Blogger Me: It is. And I also suspect they may be sexual deviants.
Pre-Blog Me: Really, why is that?
Blogger Me: (Look around nervously, leans in closely and whispers) This one time she asked about my... going number 1.
Pre-Blog Me: What?
Blogger Me: (Still whispering) You know... she asked about... when I pee.
Pre-Blog Me: Oh!
Blogger Me: (Voice still low) And while she was asking, her husband didn't say an-y-thing. He just listened.
Pre-Blog Me: That's disturbing.
Blogger Me: (Normal volume) No shit. Not that I don't suspect they weren't curious about that too.
Pre-Blog Me: Anyhow, let's try to get back on track (not as if we ever were). Going back to the cape for a sec. What are those things on the shoulders?
Blogger Me: Oh, these? Those make up the rapid detachment system I put in place... for my cape.
Pre-Blog Me: I see.
Blogger Me: That way, if I get it caught in an enemy trap or a car door or something I can quickly escape.
Pre-Blog Me: I guess that makes sense. You know what, I'm tired I have a headache and I think I've heard enough for now. Plus, I need a drink.
Blogger Me: I'll buy. Coffee?
Pre-Blog Me: NO!!!
Well! I don't know about you but I think therapy's working out just fine.