Saturday, November 6, 2010

Fighting Temptation

This morning:

Me: Hey, lemme handle the groceries myself. I got a million things to do today and I'll get this done faster on my own.
Mrs C: You sure?
Me: Yeah, no problem.
Mrs. C: Alright, let's do up a list.

We sit down and quickly prepare a list of the items needed.

Mrs. C: Now, we're on a budget so be sure to stick to the list.
Me: Yeah, yeah, yeah...
Mrs. C: I mean it.
Me: Relax. I'm on it.
Mrs. C: 'K, thanks.

So I head out. I breeze through the produce market - even saved some money with some smart shopping. Then it's off to the supermarket to finish up. I cruise through the lanes, grabbing the necessary items and feeling proud for maintaining such strict discipline in adhering to the oh so sacred list.
Then, while in the freezer section the following inner dialogue begins:

Inner Vinny: Dude. Dude! Hot Pockets! When was the last time we had those.
Me: It's been a while, hasn't it? Too bad we're on a budget.
Inner Vinny: C'mon! It's just this one thing. Oooh, look! They have Ham and Cheese. We love Ham and Cheese! Meatball and Mozzarella's good too. Ooooooh, we've never had the Chicken Melt and Bacon. We could totally...
Me: STOP IT!!! You heard her, we're on a budget. We're sticking to this list!
Inner Vinny: But... Hot Pockets...
Me: No!

I continue to get the stuff on the list, "...detergent, hand soap..."
"Hot Pockets!"
"No! Quiet!"
Just then the phone rings with the ringtone I set for my wife.

Me: Yo
Mrs. C: Hey.
Me: 'Sup?
Mrs. C: How're things going?
Me: Good. Almost done. Stickin' to the budget.
Mrs. C: 'K. That's good. Anyhow, listen, I need you to pick up a few more things. I think I'll have salad for lunch a few times this week.
Me: Salad?
Mrs. C: Don't worry. It's just for me. I know you don't like salads. Pick up some black olives, cucumbers and lettuce too.
Me: Black olives? Aren't those a bit more expensive? What about the budget? Remember?
Mrs. C: (Cutesy voice) I knoooow. But I like black olives better.
Me: Well...
Mrs. C: 'K, thanks. Bye. Luv ya.
Me: Uhhhh, yeah... You too.

Call ends.

Me: ...
Inner Vinny: I want the Chicken Melt and Bacon.
Me: 'K.


  1. bacon in any environment is a necessity

  2. @ Miss Nikki: No argument there. Plus, if you can somehow get cheese involved it's even better.

  3. I know I left a comment here last night ~ let's try again! So how was that Hot Pocket? I find that things that were not on the 'list' taste the best!!

  4. @ Nubian: Oh it was good alright. It was even worth getting "The Look" from Mrs. C for it.

  5. There's no problem at all with Hot Pockets. And Jim Gaffigan's comedy bit about them makes them oh so much tastier:

  6. @ Dr. Cynicism: I know what you mean. I just watched his bit during lunch & now I'm thinking: I should have bought some Hot Pockets.

  7. Bahahahhaa! I'm so happy I read this so I know I'm not alone.


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